Page 70 of Trapped with the Beastly Duke
“I… In truth, I do not know. Well, I do know, but I do not understand it. I had hoped to speak with Mother.” Rose glanced around, as though this act may summon their mother.
“She went to speak with the Dowager Duchess a half hour ago, but she should be back soon.” Jane smiled kindly. “I knowI am not Mother, but perhaps a sister’s friendly ear will suffice until she returns?”
Rose couldn’t help but smile at Jane, squeezing her hand lightly. “It is the Duke. I… I do not understand what has happened. It is as if he has become an entirely different man.”
Jane bit her lip. “What do you mean?”
“Before the ball, there was a warmth between us. It felt… well, it felt as if we were finally getting to know one another. And… more than that, like we were growing closer.” Rose gestured vaguely, feeling the thinness of her own words.
“Like perhaps you were falling in love?” Jane’s voice was small and tentative.
Her words caught Rose off guard. It wasn’t that Jane had assumed they were falling in love—although that was a very typical thing of her. Her middle sister had a penchant for romance. A belief in love so pure and true that it was almost childlike in its naivety.
You were falling in love.
Rose squeezed her sister’s hands, aware she should say something but still reeling from the truth in her words. She had been falling in love.
No, I am in love. I am in love with Alexander.
“Rose?” Jane squeezed her hand. “Is that really so surprising?”
“Surprising?” Rose laughed. “Of course, it is.”
Jane sighed. “Honestly, sometimes it is hard to believe we are related. You have spent weeks with a man who is kind and generous, who dotes on his family in the same way you care for us, who has welcomed us into his home and has been nothing but gracious and kind.”
She smiled. “A man who has made you laugh in a way I have not seen since we were little. You have always been so determined to do what is right for Emily and me that atsome point, you seem to have forgotten that you too deserve happiness.”
Rose gaped at her. “When did you become so observant?”
“I have always been this way. You have just been so focused on doing what is right that you never bothered to notice.” Jane prodded her good-naturedly.
“It is just I am the firstborn, and Mother has done so much to give us a comfortable and good life. She has worked hard to get to where she is. She is all things good and graceful, and I felt that I needed to live up to her expectations.”
Jane nodded. “I understand.”
“I needed to be perfect. I had to put everyone else ahead of myself, to make sure you were all safe.” Rose felt tears form at the corner of her eyes. “I know that anything less than perfection would bring ruin upon all of you. And I could not bear for Mother to know how flawed and imperfect I truly am. I have to make her proud, to be the best person I can be. It is all about appearances. That is what matters most.”
“Oh, Rose!” Lady Cotswalts’s voice was full of sadness.
Rose felt her face flush with embarrassment. Jane looked between her sister and mother, gave Rose a comforting hug, and left the room, giving her an encouraging nod behind their mother’s back.
For a moment, Rose sat staring at her mother, her cheeks red with shame. Her mother stared back, tears in her eyes.
“How much did you hear?” Rose asked.
“Enough.” Lady Cotswalts sat beside her and took her hand gently in her own. “Do you truly think that I needed you to be perfect?”
Rose swallowed. “You have always told me how important it is to find a suitable match. From when we were children, you taught us everything that your father had passed on to you—the subtle ways of the aristocracy and the art of selling…”
“I did those things to help you, so you could have the life you deserve.” Lady Cotswalts shook her head sadly. “I did not want you to become me.”
“But you have always been the epitome of hard work and womanly virtue. You always know just what to say or do. You are graceful in a way I could never hope to be.” Rose turned away from her. “All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me.”
“My dearest girl, Iamproud of you.” Lady Cotswalts tilted Rose’s face back towards her. “I know I have been hard on you. All of you, but you, most of all. I was so determined that you would not have to face the same struggles I did that I lost sight of what mattered most.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “And what was that?”
“Happiness, Rose. Happiness and love.” Lady Cotswalts smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “I did not see how much pressure I put on you. How much it was hurting you. I did not want you to sacrifice everything. That was the opposite of what I have wanted for you.”