Page 67 of Trapped with the Beastly Duke

Nigel shrugged. “Close enough. Why does it matter that the Duchess was dancing with some earl?”

Alexander answered Nigel’s shrug with one of his own. “Did you not think they made a handsome couple?”

Nigel did not answer.

Alexander let out a bitter laugh. “Ahh, Maxton. You cannot deny it.”

“No, I cannot, but I do not see what it has to do with… well, anything.” Nigel put a hand on Alexander’s shoulder. “She is your wife, not his.”

“By some unhappy accident.” Alexander turned away from his friend, unable to look at him as guilt and shame washed over him. “I thought… I thought perhaps, she cared for me. That perhaps we could be happy. But I see that was only a selfish hope.”

“How is that selfish?”

“What right have I to her affections? I, who have stolen so much from her.” Alexander shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Who would choose me, when it is so clear that Lord Verimoor is the superior?”

“I do not think he is. He is good-looking, but that does not make him better than you.” Nigel’s voice was firm. “Besides, it is clear that the Duchess cares for you.”

“Perhaps it is just pity. Pity, that in my vanity I have mistaken for—” Alexander stopped himself just in time and said instead, “Something else.”

“You cannot know that.” Nigel squeezed Alexander’s shoulder. “Have you asked her?”

Alexander shook his head. “I do not need to. I have been living in a dream. Let myself forget the truth of who I am, and what I can offer. Rose deserves more than I will ever be able to give her.”

“What are you saying?” Nigel sounded worried.

“I must set her free. She should be with someone who lets her shine bright, someone whose reputation she does not have to salvage. Who people view with love and kindness, and who will view her with such affection.” Alexander sighed. “She may be married to me, but I do not have to hold her back.”

“Rokesby, I—” Nigel began, but Alexander shook his head.

“My mind is made up. It is time for me to stop living in some fantasy. Everyone else can see that I am far less than Rose deserves.” Alexander squeezed Nigel’s shoulder. “You, dear friend, are far too loyal for your own good.”

Nigel shook his head. “I am not. I simply see you as you are. And damn it, I wish you could see yourself as I do. I wish you could see the man you truly are.”

“I am no man. At best, a delusional and selfish brute. I have let myself pretend long enough, but tonight has shown me the truth.” Alexander laughed bitterly, remembering the smiles on the faces that had watched Rose and Lord Verimoor dance. “I will never be able to offer her that which she most deserves.”

“And what is that?” Nigel asked.

“A man who is not scarred by tragedy. A man who is confident and charming.” Alexander shook his head, thinking of Lord Verimoor and his easy grace.

“Perhaps that is not what she wants.” Nigel’s voice was soft.

“What else could she want?” Alexander asked.

“Love.” The word hung between them. “Love is what most people want.”

Nigel’s words caught him off guard.

Love?

“If we lived in a world where love alone was enough, then it would be a far better place. But that is not the world we live in.”

“Rokesby, if you let—” Nigel began, but Alexander cut him off.

“It does not matter. Love cannot exist when it is not reciprocated.” Alexander smiled sadly at his friend.

She will never love me.Love or not, there is no hope for me.

“It does not matter what I feel. If you love someone, you want what is best for them. And I know that it is not me.”