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Chapter Four

MER

Her gaze landed on her aunt’s old but well-kept vessel, the Sirenidae , skipping over the shouting merchants nearby. The ship had been painted pale green in contrast to the dark wood of its hull and deck. It had a few more scars than it did before, but the ship was still majestic.

Mer ignored the sailor’s bawdy stories as she strode down the dock and across the ramp to the ship, gripping the rope rails.

When her feet met the deck, Mer peered around curiously.

The ship was clean, its wooden deck well oiled and practically gleaming in the soft lantern light.

Large white sails billowed in the breeze, a stark contrast to the clear black night sky dotted with stars.

She hovered on the edge of the lantern’s light. All seemed right, but it was too quiet.

“You’re right to be leery, ma fille ,” a smoky voice called softly from the stern.

Mer sighed. Nothing got past Lilja.

“Lurking in the dark?” Mer called, moving toward the stern. She jogged up the stairs and arched an eyebrow at her aunt who leaned casually against the far railing, a pipe dangling between her fingers. “What is that?”

Her aunt smiled. “I won it in a card game. I’m deciding if I want to keep it or toss it into the waves below for a wee one to find.”

“Toss it,” Mer said, slinging her left hip against the staircase handrail. “Discovering treasure is exciting."

Lilja tossed the pipe over her shoulder and into the sea. She brushed her palms against her leather trousers and sauntered forward. Mer kept her expression blank, even as she began to sweat. Her aunt was up to something. Lilja paused at the top step and studied Mer.

“Are you going to tell me what you’ve been up to, or do you plan to lie to me some more?” her aunt asked softly.

Mer pursed her lips. The best strategy was to keep silent. She’d learned from a young age that Lilja could even coax secrets from the stones.

“You know I love you, right?” Lilja said.

That was not what she expected to hear. “I love you too.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I do,” Mer said slowly.

“Then listen to me closely. You are in over your head.”

Her hackles rose. “Excuse me?”

Lilja stared down at her, her expression grave. “I’m not ignorant of the herbs from the trenches you’re distributing, nor am I unaware of your association with the Spymaster of Aermia. I am worried for you.”

“I can handle it.”

“You are beyond capable, but if your actions are reported to the Sirenidae king, you will not come back from this. He is a bitter old man with too much pride and time on his hands.”

“Do you expect me to do nothing?” Mer replied calmly. “People are suffering, and I have the means to help them.”

“No, but I don’t want you to be banished from your home permanently.”

“You’ve done just fine.”

“I’ve carved out a life for myself, but that’s not to say it hasn’t been excruciatingly painful at times. I would not wish the tragedies I’ve suffered upon anyone.” Lilja arched a brow. “Why didn’t you come to me? I would have helped you with your crusade.”

“When exactly? Between the times Hayjen’s not dragging you somewhere private?

” Mer’s stomach lurched, and she glanced away from her aunt’s piercing gaze that always seemed to see too much.

She was truly thankful that her aunt had survived the Warlord’s attack, but it was excruciating to be around Lilja and Hayjen when they were so wrapped up in each other.

Every look that passed between them was like a dagger to Mer’s heart, reminding her of what she’d lost.

Of what she’d never have again.

“I’m so sorry about Ream.”

“Are you?” Mer asked woodenly, staring out at the dark waves. “He was a traitor.”

“You loved him, and you’re hurting. Your pain is my pain,” Lilja said, placing a hand on Mer’s shoulder.

She shook the hand off and turned her back on her aunt, descending the stairs.

“You have no idea about the kind of pain I’m dealing with.

Every time I think of him—” Her breath caught.

“Every time, it’s as if I can’t breathe.

When I close my eyes, I relive him dying in my arms, begging for his daughter, pleading for forgiveness.

His choices led to the deaths of innocents.

Ream isn’t here to atone, but I am. I have to set things right. ”

“You are not to blame for his actions.”

“Am I not?” Mer bowed her head. “I was so wrapped up in the affairs of the world, the enemy got to him. I could have protected him from that if I’d paid attention.

I won’t fail to protect others. I don’t care if it gets me banished from the sea.

I will never stop fighting those demons.

I will fight until every last one pays for their sins and draws their last breath. ”

“Revenge won’t bring him back. It will eat at your soul,” Lilja murmured.

Mer laughed sharply. “What soul? Mine died in the Thalassan Sea with my first love.”