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Chapter Three

MER

“That’s the last of it,” Sin said, brushing his palms together.

Mer nodded, tucking the stolen Sirenidae herbs carefully inside her cloak. They would save so many human lives. “You have my thanks.” She pulled the leather pouch full of gold from her leather belt and held it out to her brother-in-law.

Well . . . former brother-in-law.

The thought pierced Mer, and she inhaled sharply.

Sin shook his head, the shells in his silvery locs clinking softly at the motion. “I won’t take payment for something that is my duty. It’s not right to keep the bounty of the trenches to ourselves. We should share it with others.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Mer stepped closer, took his hand in her own, and placed the pouch in his large palm. “You never know when you’ll need it. Please take the coin.”

The tall Sirenidae studied her with familiar light magenta eyes. “How are you holding up?”

She closed his fingers around the coins and stepped away. “I’m fine.” A simple word for complicated feelings.

“Lies,” he murmured as he tucked the gold into the back of his ill-fitting leather breeches. Aermian clothing never fit their race quite right. Always too big around the waist and too short. “It doesn’t look like you’re taking care of yourself.”

Mer glanced around the dock and at the nearby brothels. There were quite a few people about, but no one was paying them any attention. The sailors and merchants were either too drunk, or otherwise occupied. She turned her attention back to her former brother-in-law.

“I’m doing the best I can.” A lie and a truth.

He shuffled on his bare feet and pushed the hair out of his square face, a face which was so similar to her husband’s that it hurt Mer to look at him for too long. He was a painful reminder of her failures.

Don’t go there.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, but I can see you want a subject change.

” He pursed his lips. “Let’s talk about your upcoming judgment.

I don’t understand why your grandfather postponed it again,” he muttered, crossing his arms, the moonlight catching on the lilac scales scattered along his forearms.

Mer gritted her teeth. She’d hurt the king’s pride and his heart by going behind his back and helping the humans.

He couldn’t let her disobedience go unpunished, and coupled with Ream’s betrayal.

.. there was a price to be paid. But the old man didn’t know what to do with her.

She didn’t know what to do with herself. Her royal blood made her too valuable.

“It wasn’t right of you to protect us,” Sin said quietly.

“We should be standing beside you. It’s cowardly to stay silent about the part we played in helping the humans and let you take the brunt of what occurred.

We chose to fight and support the surface kingdoms in their time of need.

You should not have to face the old king’s wrath on your own. It’s wrong.”

“I took the lead in disobeying him. I shoulder the blame alone.” She tipped her chin up.

“The goal was to help our allies, not tear our kingdom apart.” Her actions weren’t meant to start a revolution.

Only help those in need. They couldn’t hide beneath the waves anymore, or the enemy would soon come to them.

“We would rally for you. You are the heir. You are our queen.”

She glared at him, eyes narrowed. “Keep your voice down,” she hissed, scanning the dock once again and then the water.

One could never be too careful. “Men have been killed as traitors for less in our court.” She huffed out a breath.

“And you will not do such a thing. There’s been enough death as it is. ” It was a command.

“No, we will not,” he replied grudgingly, bowing his head in deference. “No one wants civil war. We’re already too divided as it is.”

“And that is why you need to keep silent,” Mer reminded him.

“My grandfather will not listen to me. I disobeyed him, but I didn’t betray him to our enemies.

I may have gone behind his back to help the surface, but there are those among the Sirenidae who are not loyal and who are infinitely more dangerous.

Our enemies have been supplied with herbs from the trenches, and our people have been disappearing for years.

I need you and your people free to discover who was working with the Scythians—to find our people. ”

Sin nodded curtly and glanced at the black waves lapping gently against the dock. “Or who is still working with the Scythians.”

Goosebumps rose on her arms. Who indeed?

“Any luck on the Pernicious?”

“Nothing,” she grunted. “Everyone I’ve spoken to has never heard of this group if they even exist.”

Her lips thinned. It could have been the rantings of her dying husband, but he seemed so certain when he spoke about them. Even with all the digging she’d done, nothing had been revealed. Even the Spymaster of Aermia had come up empty-handed. That worried Mer more than anything.

She had nightmares about the bloodthirsty monsters of Scythia.

While Aermia and Scythia had signed a treaty of peace and Blaise, the new heir, was now in control of the throne, the Scythian kingdom was one strike away from disaster.

Far too many of the Warlord’s bloodthirsty men still held positions among the court.

“The war is not over,” she said softly.

“It has changed into something far more dangerous.”

“Subterfuge.”

He nodded once.

She’d thought her time playing cloak-and-dagger had come to a close, but it seemed she was only getting started. Mer rubbed at her forehead and sighed, suddenly exhausted. All she wanted to do was curl up and sleep. But even sleep offered no peace, for all that awaited her were nightmares.

“You know we still love you, right?” Sin asked.

“What?” She blinked up at him tiredly.

Sin cocked his head. “Just because Ream is gone doesn’t mean that you’re not family. You are still my sister. No matter what the king decides, you will always be my family.”

He held his arms out, and Mer didn’t hesitate to walk into them. Sin hugged her tightly, and she blinked back tears as she inhaled his familiar scent of salt and sand. He smelled like home.

Do you even have a home anymore?

Not since her husband had died. Not since she’d failed utterly.

What Sin didn’t know was that she’d saved the life of the man who’d murdered his brother. It was her greatest shame. A mistake she would not make twice.

“You need to eat more,” he mumbled into her hair. “My brother would be beside himself if he saw the state of you.”

Her tears did fall this time, stinging her cheeks. No one spoke of Ream except for Sin, like his betrayal negated his entire life.

“I miss him,” she whispered brokenly.

“I do too,” Sin replied.

“Do you know what the worst part is? If he’d survived, I don’t know that I could have lived with the knowledge that he helped the Scythians hurt our people.

I think in my heart, I wouldn’t have forgiven him.

But, despite that, I still mourn the future we’d planned.

” Mer pulled away and wiped at her face, hating the tears that caused her cheeks to itch.

She never had this issue in the sea. “I wanted a family, and all of that is gone now.” She inhaled roughly. “Am I selfish?”

“Let yourself mourn. It’s natural.” Sin cupped her cheek, his long fingers tangling with her hair. “Your future is not gone. Changed, yes, but not gone. You can still have a family.”

Mer hiccupped and gave a watery laugh. “I am a traitor to the crown by supporting the people of the surface. No good Sirenidae man would have me, and even if he did, my actions would always bring shame upon our family and our children. I couldn’t bear it.”

“You are not alone. You will get through this.”

She nodded and pulled his hand away, giving it one squeeze before using her shirtsleeve to scrub her face. “I’m sorry for the self-pity.”

“You never have to be sorry for your grief. You’ve suffered much, and your trials are not yet finished.”

That sobered her. “Have you heard anything about my judgment? Any indication what the king plans to do?”

Sin frowned and crossed his arms. “Nothing.”

“It’s been postponed twice.” She stared out at the darkened outline of the nearest ship bobbing in the bay, a sliver of moonlight gleaming off the waves. “What is he waiting for?” Other than to torture her.

“You’re a favorite of your grandfather’s. I’m not sure he knows what to do with you.”

“He has a vindictive streak. Make no mistake. He isn’t delaying because he’s unsure. He’s delaying because he wants it to hurt me as much as I hurt him.” She snorted. “And because he knows how much I hate waiting.”

“Patience is not your virtue,” Sin agreed, a twinkle in his pale magenta eyes.

“Ha ha,” she huffed.

Her brother-in-law gave her a half smile before glancing over his shoulder back at the sea. “I need to return before someone notices my absence.”

“Be safe,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. While he wasn’t blood, he was her brother through and through.

“You as well. I’ll see you next week.”

Mer nodded and spun on her heel, refusing to say goodbye or watch him leave. She’d already said goodbye too many times to people she loved.