Page 24 of Tracing Her Stolen Identity (Secure Watch #2)

“Angel, I need you to wake up,” Reece whispered in her ear.

Blinking, she glanced up into his face. Unable to resist, she smoothed her hand over his soft beard, and he smiled.

“I need to shave. It’s been a busy few days.”

“I like it,” she said with a smile. “I still see you as the boy I used to know. This shows me the man you’ve become.”

His blue eye darkened to navy as he gazed at her, drinking her in as though she wasn’t a shell of a woman in a shriveled body. “I see you as the stunning woman you’ve become from that girl I used to know. You’ve left me breathless for days.”

The eye roll happened, even though she knew it was rude. “Sorry, but, Reece, have you looked at me? I’m a hot mess, both physically and apparently in life. ‘Stunning woman,’” she said, using air quotes, “is not this.” She motioned down her body as he shook his head slowly.

“I understand why you feel that way, but it doesn’t mean I do, Sky. We need to put that aside for now and get you to bed. Selina said the catheter should drain freely tonight to prevent issues.”

“What time is it?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. “The last thing I remember was watching Facebook videos.”

He chuckled and gave her a wink as he lifted the blanket off her and folded it. “It’s nearly 2:00 a.m. You fell asleep, so I covered you and let you get some rest while I worked. Now, it’s time for both of us to be in bed. I’ll carry you to the bedroom and return for your chair.”

“Not necessary,” she said immediately. “I only need help putting the recliner down.” If there was one thing she hated about her disability, it was recliners. If they weren’t powered, she couldn’t push the footrest down to get out of the chair and always required help.

“It is necessary,” he said, bending down and sliding his hands under her back and knees. “It’s necessary for me to feel you in my arms again as a reminder that I didn’t lose you this morning. Give me that, please?”

Never able to deny him anything when he asked with a pure and open heart, she nodded and allowed herself to be lifted and carried to the bedroom, where he lowered her to bed, which had already been prepared for the night.

Once she rested comfortably on the pillows, she pointed to the bathroom without making eye contact.

Shame filled her, but his need to carry her to the bed meant she had to open herself to embarrassment again.

“Would you get my drain bag? It’s hanging in the bathroom.”

“Nope, got it right here,” he said, lifting the tubing for her to see before he lifted her shirt far enough to reveal the catheter taped to her abdomen. Selina had suggested she leave it taped at an angle rather than coil it to prevent it from kinking.

“What are you doing?” she asked, grabbing his hand to stop him. “I can do it. Please, get my chair.”

“I’m connecting your catheter to the bag. Selina showed me how.”

“I can do it, Land. Please,” she begged.

He held up his hands and then motioned for her to do it. It was then that she realized she couldn’t see the connections while lying flat.

Frustrated, she flopped her head back onto the pillow and sighed. “I can’t see the connection. If you’ll get my chair, I can transfer to that and do it.”

“Or, I can connect it in five seconds to save you the effort required to transfer twice.”

Finally, she nodded and let him carry out the process until it was connected, and she heard the catheter draining into the bag.

Reece lowered her shirt and covered her with the blanket before kneeling beside the bed. “It’s okay to accept help sometimes, angel. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means someone cares about you enough to take that burden off your shoulders for a few moments.”

With her eyes squeezed shut, she nodded, but mostly, she wanted him to leave long enough for her to fight back the tears. She knew she’d lost the battle when his finger trailed down her cheek to wipe one away. “Could you have picked something less gross to help me with?”

“Angel, there’s nothing gross about what I just did.

My God, I’d do it fifty times a day if it meant you never had to go through what you went through this morning.

It’s a basic human function that we all do.

You do it differently. That doesn’t mean it’s gross or shameful.

I think it’s an amazing advancement for spinal cord injury patients.

You don’t have to do the intermittent catheterization that used to rule your life and make you sick.

I know I don’t live in your body or understand what it’s like to do that, but I do want to learn how to help you. ”

“Why?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. The light was low in the room, and the darkness and shadows made her feel braver than she was as she wiped a tear from her face. “Why do you even care?”

“I’ve always cared about you, Sky, and I always will. We can’t go back to pretending that the other person doesn’t exist once this is over. At least I can’t, so if I learn how to help you, at least I can be there for you as a friend, right?”

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend again,” she agreed with a whisper. It was her way of telling him that all they could be was friends, and the look in his eye told her he understood that.

“Then you won’t,” he promised, kissing her forehead. “I’m going to get your chair. Be right back.”

Land stood and strode from the room, so she quickly wiped her face with the soft sheet.

He wouldn’t be gone long, and she wanted to get herself together before he returned.

He wanted to help, and she’d allow it for now.

It felt good to feel cared for, but once this was over, that was a different story.

He had his own life, and staying in touch, while it sounded nice, would be far too painful to her heart when she couldn’t have him in her life for all time.

Once he had the chair next to the bed for her, he climbed onto his side, keeping a sheet between them, and then covered himself with a spare blanket. He propped himself on his arm and slid the other across her chest to cup her shoulder.

“We need to talk.”

“Can it wait until morning? We’re both exhausted.” The last thing she wanted to do was talk about their relationship, or lack thereof, at 2:00 a.m.

“I’m afraid not. I found Silas.”

“What?” she asked, turning to meet his gaze. “How? Why? Where?” Her moan that followed the rapid questions said exactly how she felt about knowing he’d dug up part of her past. “I wanted him to stay buried.”

“He is,” Land said, raising his hand to stroke her cheek with his thumb. “He was using the alias Tom Sullivan.”

“Oh, God, from that video game!” she exclaimed. “He was obsessed with that game. Why didn’t I think of that all those years ago?”

“It probably didn’t cross your mind that he’d use an alias. I’m surprised the private detectives never asked your parents.”

“They may have, but I was pretty out of it for those first few years after he left. So, he’s dead?”

“Yes,” Land said with a sigh. “Once I found his alias, I could trace him to a death certificate in Colorado.”

“Colorado? That’s an odd state for him to pick.”

Land opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, but paused. “There are a lot of places to hide in Colorado.”

“When did he die? Did you find out anything else about him? What did he do for work?”

“According to the death certificate, he died three years ago. The cause of death was drowning. There wasn’t a lot of information I could find about him regarding his life or work history.

Iris will dig into it in the morning. I’m sorry, Sky.

I hated to be the one to tell you this, but you had to know. ”

“I’m not upset, Land. I’m relieved, actually. It’s like that weird ball of nerves that he might show up in our lives is gone. I always assumed he was dead, but with no proof, there was always a lingering worry. That’s gone now. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

He kept stroking her cheek with his thumb, all his attention focused on her. “He was still your brother. It’s okay to grieve the innocence that was lost.”

“Trust me, that happened a long time ago. Seriously, I’m solidly relieved, Land. The only hard part will be telling my parents, but that can wait until this is all figured out and I can see them in person. Please, make sure no one from Secure Watch tells them.”

“It has already been said,” he assured her with a smile. “I’m proud of you.”

“Why? Because I’m so inspirational?” Her eye roll was hard and practiced but also defensive. If she could keep him focused on her anger with life, he’d learn he didn’t want any part of hers.

“I see through your defenses, angel. Your walls aren’t hard for me to scale when I know you as well as I do, even fourteen years later.

I’m proud of you for the way you’re plowing through this situation.

Losing your identity is difficult, but you’re hanging in there and working through it with us.

Not everyone can do that. I’ve dealt with people who curl up in a ball and shut out the world.

We can solve this if you can hang in a bit longer. ”

“I want to be part of the solution. My life already involves enough situations where people have to do things for me. I can help with this and want to do that, so you don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.”

His laughter was soft when it filled the room. “Oh, that is the last thing I would ever do. There’s never been a situation you haven’t tackled head-on. We can do this together as long as we’re honest with each other.”

Land leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead, his lips soft and warm as they hesitated there for a moment, as though he was thinking about doing so much more.

Instead, he pulled back and shut off the small lamp on the bedside table, plunging the room into darkness.

This was one time she was grateful for darkness.

It gave her time to stuff all those feelings she had for this man back into the box where she kept them so she could live without crying every single day he was missing from her life.

Then he rolled over and cupped her shoulder, his face just inches from hers as he snuggled into his pillow.

It felt like they were an old married couple who had slept this way for years.

The tears leaked from her eyes, because he remembered how she liked to be touched.

She could feel her shoulders and had told him early on that when she needed to feel human touch, that was the best place to hold her.

He’d done it ever since. God, how she loved the sensation of his protective hand on her as he relaxed into sleep.

Carefully, she swiped at the tears while trying not to disturb him in his sleep.

Those tears represented loss. Losing her future after the accident, losing Land and now, losing another piece of her family.

However, she wasn’t upset by Silas’s loss.

She was upset about losing the chance to face him again and tell him how he’d hurt her.

Her therapist had told her that if she ever got that chance, she should take it.

She needed to put all the negativity back on his shoulders to be free of them.

That was no longer possible. She thought about the letter she’d written.

Had they ever found him, she’d planned to mail it to him, but now, even that option was gone.

When this was over, she’d fold it into a paper boat and set it free on Lake Superior, where it could disintegrate and sink to the depths, never to be seen again, just like Silas.

With a deep breath in, she knew that was the right decision. Then he feathered his thumb across her cheek to wipe a tear, shattering her heart into a million little pieces with that slight touch. Making the right decision about Land would be the hardest decision of her life.