Page 66 of Touch Her and Die

“Fine. We’re even. I won’t kill anyone, but if she grabs your butt, I am cutting off her fingers.”

Marital bliss my ass.

“Fine. Because she won’t. She’s the fucking secretary, and she has to give me messages if people call when I’m out.”

I backed her into the wall, already hungry for a taste of her.

“I have eyes for no one else. You know that.”

Her hands slid over my stomach to the bulge in my pants.

“I know. I’m sorry. My hormones are a little crazy. I... Well I came here not just for a quickie, or to tell you how my sister’s new headstone looks. Oh, I think she would say hi too. You know, if she were alive. And well-”

I chucked, but paused. She was rambling.

“Well, what? Did something not go as planned today?”

She smiled and shrugged.

“Not really. I mean, that guy’s taken care of. But, well, I stopped at the store after talking to my sister because I'm late.”

I glanced at my watch.

“Emilee doesn’t really care. We come and go as needed. Perks of the job and being family. Speaking of, she wants you to go with her later today.”

I stopped talking as she pressed her hand over my mouth.

“No. Late, late. Like you knocked me up kind of late.”

My mouth went dry.

“But you said you couldn’t give me kids?”

She looked away, and I grabbed her chin and dragged her face back to me.

“No. I said I didn’t think I could. As in, I would be a super shitty mom, I don’t want kids.”

The entire world stopped. I was sure of it. The silence buzzed in my ears.

“So, my wife is pregnant? I’m going to be a dad?”

Her lips twisted, and her nose wrinkled.

“Those are both true. I mean your wife getting pregnant leads to the other.”

Seconds passed, and it hit me.

“Now you really are mine. You can’t leave me, no matter what. I will take care of you both until the day I die.”

She half smiled. “Well, when I first took that test, I sort of thought you would die today when I killed you for having really strong sperm. And then something snapped inside me. I have a little tiny you or me growing inside of me. And then I laughed hysterically to the point people started asking if I was okay. Really, though? I am. The world needs more fucked up people like you and me to keep it morally grey. Doesn’t it?”

Well, shit. I guess people like us got a happily ever after.

“Princess, the world needs more people like you. The ones who are cracked. Never broken. Not broken until the day we die.”