Page 27 of To Tempt Lady (Victorian Outcasts #10)

twenty-five

Emma was boiling as the air in her study became suddenly hot. She fiddled with the collar of her high-necked shirt and rearranged the documents on the desk as Marcus opened the door.

She had no idea what she was doing other than piling things up and shifting them again. He hadn’t kissed her, but the same tingle as last night tormented her. Her thoughts were scattered in every direction. Her body shook with the fatigue of exercising control.

“Jesse? I’m here,” Marcus said louder, opening the door.

“I need to talk to you and Lady Emma,” Jesse said.

She straightened. “What is it?” She craned her neck as Jesse appeared on the threshold with his flat hat on and a satchel strapped across his shoulders.

“My lady.” He sniffled, eyes red and puffy.

“What is it?” Marcus asked at the same time as Emma said, “Are you going somewhere?”

Jesse removed his hat. His dark blond hair was dishevelled, and his face had a worrying grey colour. “I came to thank you for your hospitality and to say goodbye.”

“What?” Marcus said. “What are you talking about?”

She waved him closer. “Come here and tell me what has happened.”

Jesse shuffled across the room, his stare on the carpet. “You’ll throw me out once you learn the horrible thing I did.”

She glanced at Marcus who gave her a quick shake of his head. “I assure you that I won’t throw you out, no matter what you did.”

Jesse shook his head. “I did something terrible.”

Emma lowered her head in front of him, catching his sad gaze. “Tell me.”

Jesse’s bottom lip quivered. “Last night, my stomach was upset because I ate too much, and I couldn’t sleep.”

“Why didn’t you come to my room?” Marcus asked. “I thought you felt better after the ginger brew.”

Jesse wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his jacket. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“So what did you do?” she asked.

Jesse took a deep breath. “I tried to sleep, but my stomach was upset, and I…threw up in the bed,” he whispered, tears hanging on his eyelashes.

“Oh, dear Jesse.” Emma hugged him, and he rested his head on her shoulder.

“The bedsheets are a mess. They smell horrible. I took them off and tried to wash them, but…” He shook his head. “I made things worse.”

“You should have called me,” Marcus said.

“How do you feel now? Is your stomach still upset?” she asked.

He hiccuped among sobs. “I felt better after throwing up.”

“Good. Soiling the bed is nothing of importance. I’m not going to throw you out.”

“Really?” He wiped his face again.

“Never. Hart House is your home now. You’re going to stay here no matter what you do.”

His face brightened. “No matter?”

She nodded. “This is your home.”

Marcus’s frown deepened, and his grey eyes turned frosty.

Jesse hugged her again. “I’m going to have breakfast then. I was so worried I didn’t eat.”

“Eat something light. Tell Mrs. Daubney you didn’t feel well last night.” She smiled. “Off you go then.”

He hugged Marcus, too, radiating happiness.

“Next time, if you feel unwell, come to me, no matter the time,” Marcus said.

“Yes. Thank you, Lady Emma.” Jesse rushed out of the room, shouting, “I’m not leaving!”

She chuckled at the boy’s enthusiasm. “He’s such an adorable boy.”

Marcus’s brow didn’t smooth. “I’m grateful for everything you’ve done so far for Jesse and me, but I must ask you not to make promises you aren’t going to keep.”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t Jesse’s home. Once I finish my job for you, Jesse and I will leave, and it’ll be very hard for him to leave if he believes this is his home.”

That shook her to the core. If he meant to leave, what about them? She was jumping to conclusions, and they could see each other even if he lived somewhere else, but the way he’d said that sounded as if he knew whatever started between them wouldn’t lead anywhere.

“But I mean it,” she said. “You and Jesse are welcome to stay here for as long as you wish. I want you and Jesse to be part of my life.”

“We must be practical, though.” He knit his eyebrows, looking sad. “This is the house of an earl who will marry one day and have a family, and you’ll marry as well and move out of here. What are Jesse and I supposed to do?”

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, at a loss. She’d wanted to comfort Jesse, but at the same time, she meant everything she’d said. “I didn’t think the promise through, but that doesn’t mean Jesse shouldn’t consider this place home. We’ll find a solution when the problem arises.”

“That’s not what I do. I don’t wait for a problem to arise.

I try to prevent it.” A muscle of his jaw ticked.

“With due respect, Jesse is only eleven years old. He’s been through a lot in a short time.

After he lost his parents, he joined a gang and was beaten by its leader, and he was forced into becoming a thief by the age of eight.

I don’t want him to suffer any longer, and giving him the hope of having found a home might break his heart. And mine.”

She sighed. “You’re right, but you have to trust me when I say that whatever happens, Jesse will be well cared for. And I’m not in a hurry to get married.” Especially now.

“The earl has a different idea about our permanence here.”

“Trevor grumbles a lot, but he’s a sensible man. He would never do anything to harm you or Jesse.”

“Well, he—” He fell silent, squeezing his lips together.

“What?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

“At liberty to say? You sound like a spymaster working for Her Majesty. What did Trevor do?”

“Nothing, and I shouldn’t have mentioned him.” His expression remained unforgiving.

“I want to know if Trevor said something that upset you.”

“He didn’t.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Marcus.” She stepped closer. In the past, she’d made the mistake of not being direct with him until the very last moment.

She wouldn’t do that again. “I know what you’re thinking.

” She paused because speaking her mind was more difficult than she thought.

“The kiss complicates the situation between us. But…” She lost her train of thought when he gave her a smouldering gaze.

“But?”

“Can’t we just be ourselves when we are alone and not think too much about the future? Enjoy each other’s company for as long as possible?”

“And face the problem only when it presents itself.” He didn’t sound happy at all.

The shelves around her, heavy with books, and documents and letters to be answered, seemed to close in on her, reminding her that what Marcus had said was true.

She would marry sooner or later to someone of her status, but she had no idea what had just started with him, and if there was one thing she’d learnt after the bridge collapse, it was life could change completely in a moment and not always for the better.

“It’s selfish, I know,” she said. “But I don’t want to look back and have regrets. I already have too many. If you don’t share my sentiment, I understand. But I believe a solution that will make us happy is possible.”

She would help Marcus set up his own company again, and after that, he would feel less unworthy. Because he was more than worthy in her eyes.

He flashed a quick smile that would brighten her day for hours. “So do you still want your kiss?”

She nodded. “Absolutely.”

“We should find a private place where no one will find us.”

Why was the idea of searching for a secret, safe spot so exciting?

“I will.”

He cleared his throat. “Meanwhile, I finished studying the entire documentation of the building site in St. Giles. I’m ready to inspect it.”

“Excellent. I’ll organise the visit, then.”

He bowed and went to leave, but there was something else she wished to discuss.

“Marcus, may I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She fiddled with her hands. “It’s probably nothing, but remember what I told you about Lady Beaumont last night?”

A hard glint flashed across his gaze. “Yes, I do.”

“Do you know her?”

“A bowing acquaintance. Why?”

“As I told you, she said something odd last night before she left. She accused me of holding someone against his will here, and she said, ‘You don’t own him.’ I have no idea what she was talking about, and the only person she could refer to is you.”

He remained deadpan. “I can’t help you. I have no clue what she meant.”

“I don’t understand. She strode out before I could ask her what she meant. Are you sure something didn’t happen with her? Maybe you and your father worked in one of her houses?”

“It’s possible, but I have no recollection of any direct contact with her.” His voice lowered gradually until the last few words became a whisper. He stared at the carpet, avoiding her gaze.

“I’ll have to ask her again then.”

“Of course. If you’ll excuse me, I haven’t had breakfast yet, and I would like to see Jesse.”

“By all means.”

He left the room in a hurry. The atmosphere between them changed, and she wondered if he’d been completely honest.