Page 9 of To Tame a Wolf

Alexandra sat in her favorite chair by the hearth and stared into the dying fire. She was not the least tired, and she didn’t feel like feigning sleep in order to avoid conversation with the McGregor. In fact, she was anxious to hear his thoughts regarding the message Niles had sent. Her mind drifted to Jamie and Happy. She smiled as she remembered the two of them curled up together in bed when she’d checked. She missed the pup’s presence by her side, but seeing the joy the pup brought the boy, she did not have the heart to separate them.

She was still lost in her thoughts when the McGregor entered the room. He appeared surprised to see her still awake, and then he scowled.

“It’s been a long day. You should be getting your rest.”

“I’m not sleepy.”

“Well, I am,” the McGregor said. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he removed his boots.

“You must not trust Niles. He would never pay a ransom for me,” she warned him.

“Aye, we thought as much. But you needn’t worry, for I have decided upon a solution.”

She turned away and stared into the fire while he disrobed and settled into the bed.

“We are going to marry,” he announced. His voice sounded strained.

Alexandra whirled around to face him. Her mouth dropped open in shock. She was speechless. Of all the things he could have said, this was the most unexpected. She didn’t know what to say or how to react, so she just sat there, stunned. The sound of snoring filled the chamber. How dare he say something like that and then fall asleep! She was tempted to beat on his chest and demand he explain himself, but she was not prepared to hear what he had to say. She needed time to think.

The room grew dark, yet she continued to sit in the chair. Did the McGregor love her? No, certainly not. He acted like he was aggravated with the entire situation. Almost as if he were mad. Then why did he propose? Well, if you could call that a proposal. It was more of an order. She fumed. She wouldn’t marry anyone unless she chose to. Did she wish to marry the McGregor? Her stomach did a little flip-flop at the thought. She was definitely attracted to him, but did she love him? Tears came to her eyes. How could she possibly love someone who didn’t love her back? And what of her plan to become a nun and serve God? She had been so sure that was what she was meant to do with her life.

She spent a long, restless night tossing upon the pallet. Finally, the sun rose and the darkness receded from the room. She stood up stiffly and looked down at her wrinkled gown. She’d had so much on her mind she hadn’t bothered to remove it. Walking over to the side of the bed, she stood and stared down at the McGregor. He lay sleeping peacefully on his back with one arm flung over his head.

“Care to join me?” he asked without opening his eyes.

Alexandra put her hands on her hips and scowled at him. Ignoring his question, she asked one of her own, “What do you mean we will be married?”

The hand the McGregor had above his head snaked out and grabbed her about the waist. Before she had time to register what was happening, he pulled her into bed and pinned her upper body beneath his.

“I’m tired of lusting after you,” he growled, “Do you want me to make love to you now? Or after we are married?”

Her throat tight, she whispered, “After.”

The McGregor bent his head, and Alexandra thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, he released her and stood up as she scrambled from the bed.

“Why will we be married?”

He repeated her question. “Why does any man marry? For legitimate heirs, of course.”

Babies. Alexandra had not thought about babies. She suddenly had a vision of holding a son in her arms, a son with brown eyes and brown hair like his father. Feeling weak in the knees, she sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“You won’t have to worry anymore about Conrad or Sullivan. Our marriage will foil their plans, and as my wife you will be under my protection.” He picked his shirt off the floor and slipped it over his head while he talked. “I’ve sent for the priest, and he will be here in a fortnight.”

So soon, she thought, but sat speechless. She needed to think. This was all happening too fast.

Ian dressed while glancing periodically at her face. Did he wonder what she was thinking? Before leaving the room, he told her he would send Maddie to help with any wedding preparations she needed to make.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Alexandra fell back against the bed with one hand covering her stomach. She was still thinking about babies. When she was at the abbey, she never thought she’d get married, let alone have children. As an only child, she had often wished for more brothers and sisters. Now, if she married, she could conceivably have a whole parcel of children. The thought was startling.

Maddie knocked quietly on the chamber door and peeked her head inside. “The laird sent me to assist you?” She appeared puzzled as Alexandra usually took care of her own needs.

It took several seconds before Alexandra could spit out the words. “The McGregor and I are to be married. I would be honored for you to stand with me during the ceremony.”

Maddie squealed with delight. She threw herself into Alexandra’s arms and gave her a big hug. “I told my mother I thought you and the Wolf were meant to be together!”

Pulling back, Maddie exclaimed, “We’ve got so much to do. You’ll need a fine gown and flowers, and we must decorate the hall. Oh, and Cook needs to be told so she can prepare a special meal.”

Overwhelmed, Alexandra pleaded, “Please don’t go to too much trouble. I doubt the McGregor wants anything elaborate.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” Maddie said. Obviously eager to spread the news, she fled.

Alexandra stood in the center of the room and wondered what she should do. She felt lost and adrift. Finally, she decided she might as well check on Jamie and Silas. After changing into a fresh gown, she left the chamber. Her guards for the day waited as usual outside the door. Smiling, she greeted them by name and proceeded to Jamie’s bed chamber. The boy’s room was empty. Having been ordered to stay in bed yesterday, the lad probably couldn’t wait to escape this morning.

She found him in the hall eating his breakfast. Happy sat enthralled at the boy’s feet as Jamie slipped him remnants of food. At her approach, the pup yipped and ran toward her. She leaned over and strained to pick him up. He was growing so fast. At this rate he’d be huge when he was full grown. She rubbed her fingers through his fur as the pup licked her chin. Setting him back down on the floor, she laid one hand upon Jamie’s head and asked, “And how are you today, my young friend?”

“Good,” Jamie replied, his voice muffled with a mouth full of food. He said more, but she couldn’t understand what.

“Chew your food first and swallow before answering,” she instructed.

Jamie sat and swung his legs back and forth as he did what he was told. The boy seemed to always be in constant motion.

After an exaggerated swallow, he asked, “Can we go see Silas today?”

“After you finish your breakfast, we will be on our way. Your father hasn’t restricted you to the keep, has he?”

Smiling, the boy shook his head no, while chewing another large mouthful of food.

They made their way to Silas’s hut in the morning sunshine. The temperature was once again warmer than usual, and she wanted to skip right along with young Jamie. Silas had nothing to report. No new illnesses had developed among the clan members during the night. They discussed which herbs were in short supply and how they’d be able to go scouting for them once spring arrived.

Alexandra and Jamie took their time walking back to the keep. She could see the McGregor training his men in the distance. Was he thinking about their wedding? She tried to keep her mind occupied, but thoughts of her upcoming vows crept in, making her anxious. As they entered the great hall, Maddie greeted them.

“Oh good, I don’t have to search all over for you. I’ve found several dresses for you to try, and I’m preparing a hot bath.” She pulled on Alexandra’s hand to hurry her along. Young Jamie opted to go back outside.

“Where did you get the dresses?” Alexandra asked as they walked up to the bed chamber.

Maddie hesitated and then said, “They belonged to James’s wife. She was an Englishwoman too. She had many dresses. These are a few that were left behind.”

“What happened to her? I’ve never heard anyone speak of her.”

Sorrow entered Maddie’s eyes and she said, “It’s best to ask James or the Wolf.”

Alexandra made a mental note to do just that. She approached the bed and looked at the three dresses draped over it. One immediately caught her eye. It was a sky-blue velvet. Picking up the sleeve, she rubbed it between her fingertips. It was so soft.

“I don’t believe she ever wore that one. It’s not hemmed, and there are no buttons on the back,” she said. “Let’s see how it fits.”

Maddie helped her out of her clothes and assisted in pulling the velvet dress over her head.

“It feels wonderful,” Alexandra said, as she ran her hands over the garment.

“As does it look,” Maddie returned and circled around her. “The waist needs to be taken in a little, but that will be easy enough. A couple more inches need to go from the bottom before we hem it. We just need buttons. I will have plenty of time to finish.”

“I can help you,” Alexandra offered, although sewing wasn’t something she enjoyed.

“Oh no, miss. My younger sisters will be happy to assist.”

****

Word of the upcoming nuptials traveled surprisingly fast among the clan. Over the next few days, Alexandra received many congratulations, as well as curious looks and a few hostile glares. After saving young Jamie, she noticed the clan’s attitude toward her had softened. She was kept busy trying to remember everyone’s name, and who was related to whom.

Her days were routine. She slept by the hearth, and the McGregor didn’t protest. He was up and gone before she even awoke. He seemed to avoid being alone with her. After she broke her fast, she’d check on young Jamie and his constant companion Happy. The two were now inseparable, and it was a joy to watch them play together. With her small companions in tow, she would head for Silas’s hut to see what the day had in store. Silas was a gruff, but excellent teacher, and Alexandra was learning much.

Today, he told her, they were off to set a child’s broken arm.

The girl, Fiona, was ten years of age. Her mother hovered as they examined her arm. Alexandra thought it looked broken in two places below the elbow, and Silas agreed. The setting was going to be very painful. Alexandra asked the mother to make tea, and she gave her some medicinal herbs to add to it. The brew would help to calm the girl and make her sleepy. While Fiona drank her tea, Alexandra asked her how she’d hurt herself.

“I was climbing trees with my friends. We were racing to see who could climb the highest. I was winning,” she said and then frowned. “But the branches were slippery, and I fell.”

Remembering all too well her own recent experience, Alexandra said, “I am so sorry you got hurt doing something you love. When I was your age, I also loved to climb trees. Perhaps when your arm is healed, we can climb some together. When the branches are no longer slippery, of course. Would you like that?”

Both mother and daughter smiled, looking amused at the thought of the laird’s soon-to-be wife climbing trees. “And look,” Alexandra said and held up her braid, “we have the same color hair.” She leaned closer to look in the child’s eyes, and exclaimed, “We have the same color eyes too! I think we are destined to be friends, don’t you?”

Fiona nodded emphatically.

“You must be very sure to follow Silas’s orders so your arm will heal properly. This is going to hurt very much, but I know what a brave girl you are.”

As Alexandra encouraged Fiona, Silas gathered what he needed.

“Give her this to bite down on,” he said, and handed over a small, thick piece of leather. “I will elongate the arm and hold it in place while you put the sticks on each side and wrap it.” Speaking to the mother, he said, “Place your hands on her shoulders and keep her still.” He looked at both women and asked, “Any questions?”

Alexandra shook her head and held the piece of leather up to the girl’s mouth. She bit down on it. Alexandra put on a brave face and nodded assuredly at Fiona.

The setting went well. Silas pulled Fiona’s arm straight. and the girl screamed but did not move. Alexandra quickly wrapped the strips of cloth and tied them off. Silas placed her arm gently down onto the bed. Both mother and child stifled tears.

“You are truly the bravest girl I know,” Alexandra said and squeezed the child’s good hand.

After giving the mother extra instructions and reassuring her they’d be back to check on Fiona, they left and headed back toward the keep.

Alexandra did not speak as they walked. She was deep in thought. Giving out herbs and medicinal brews was the easy part of healing. Dealing with the screams and the pain was an entirely different matter and it troubled her.

Silas interrupted her by muttering, “We make a good team.”

“Aye, we do,” she smiled. They seemed to be able to read each other’s minds and worked well together without much discussion.

“Thank you,” she said. “That’s the best compliment you could give me.”

He grunted and picked up his pace to get ahead of her. “Well, don’t let it go to your head, you still have an awful lot to learn,” he said back over his shoulder as he headed toward his hut.

Alexandra automatically slowed her pace as she passed the training field. Her eyes searched for and found the McGregor. Just the sight of the man and the sound of his voice stirred her heart. He was observing and yelling out commands to two young men who were circling each other and fighting without weapons. Alexandra watched as she strolled by. When the McGregor was no longer in sight, she picked up her pace. She looked forward to dining with him this evening. Entering the keep, she found her time to be on her own as young Jamie and Happy were nowhere around. She prayed they were keeping out of mischief.

Maddie was only too happy to comply with Alexandra’s wish for another bath. The girl was always so cheerful and pleasant, eager to accommodate any wish. As servants brought up buckets of steaming water, Maddie chattered on about the wedding plans. The whole event didn’t seem real to Alexandra. She just wanted to relax in the tub and she told Maddie she would be able to take care of herself. Maddie seemed relieved to be getting back to her ‘wedding duties’ and with another, “I’m so excited!” she bounced out of the chamber.

Moments later as she was preparing to step into the tub, she heard a soft knock. Wrapping a blanket around herself, she cracked the door open but no one was there. She moved to shut it and spotted a tray with tea and shortbread on the floor. Maddie was so thoughtful.

The water was wonderfully warm and silky against her skin. Alexandra slid down farther into the tub and rested her head back against the rim. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and let the tension drift out of her body. Her thoughts turned to, who else, but the McGregor. Was she being a fool for not running again? It would be easy to slip away, but with no knowledge of the area she’d probably get lost and starve to death, if she didn’t die from exposure first. Where could she go anyway? She couldn’t go back to the abbey. That was the first place Niles would look, and she had no means of supporting herself.

Staying with the McGregor was the right choice. It was really the only option, but did that mean she’d failed God and her life’s mission? Surely, if there was another way out, God would show her. Her feelings of failure conflicted with her growing attraction for Ian. Was she going to be badly hurt?

Restless at the direction her thoughts were taking, she sat upright in the tub and took a sip of the tea from the tray she’d put next to the tub. Grimacing from its bitter taste, she set the cup aside and picked up the shortbread. Much better, she thought as she nibbled on it. Well, she’d best get accustomed to the idea of getting married, because the date was quickly approaching.

She stood in the tub and let the water cascade down her body before reaching for her drying cloth. The room swayed, and she started to sway with it. Clutching the side of the tub like an anchor, she waited for the wave of dizziness to pass. It passed but was replaced by a rolling nausea. Alexandra attempted to get out of the tub as quickly as she could, but before she could lift her other leg out, another wave of dizziness slammed into her. She felt herself falling backward and flailed her arms to regain her balance or to find something sturdy to grab onto. Her fingertips snagged her drying cloth before she toppled to the floor. She tucked in her head, and her shoulders took the brunt of the fall. The leg that had been in the tub landed sorely on its rim.

What was wrong with her? She managed to pull the drying cloth over her naked body before curling into a ball as the next wave of nausea hit. She heard pounding on the chamber door and her name called. She tried to answer, but her voice lacked strength.

She heard several voices out in the hallway before the door opened and Maddie rushed in. She could see the feet of others standing beyond the doorway.

“What happened? We heard a loud noise,” Maddie exclaimed and knelt down beside her.

Alexandra, unable to lift her head, looked up into Maddie’s worried eyes and pleaded, “McGregor,” before she turned aside and retched.