Page 18

Gavin

G avin held Adelaide gently. Terrified of moving, he could only lay there. Eventually, Gavin found himself grateful for the chance to study her unencumbered by fear or the mask she wore in her waking moments. She was at peace in her sleep.

That, and this was the first time since Penumbra’s War had ended that he’d allowed himself to linger in bed. Despite the warmth radiating off of Adelaide curled up against him, and the soft light of the sun poking through the cracks in the shutters drawn over the windows of the archduchess’s suite, Gavin’s mind couldn’t wholly stop.

He replayed the almost desperate way he’d kissed Adelaide last night. The moment their lips met was like a spark. It flitted through him, through his blood, and straight into his core. Gavin hadn’t wanted to let go. It didn’t even matter that he’d needed to breathe. All he’d cared about was her lips on his and how close he could possibly hold her, to know she was real and that this moment wasn’t a cruel dream he’d eventually wake from.

Absently, Gavin rubbed his hand up and down her back. He studied her, drinking in the peace on her face and the freedom of her sleep-marred features. Her hair splayed across the bed behind her. He stared at the soft curl in the tips of her hair, lost once more in the memory of her lips against his and the way she’d placed his hands on her waist, allowing him to wander.

He hoped she didn’t regret last night.

At the thought, Gavin’s rhythm faltered until he’d nearly stopped rubbing her back.

Adelaide sighed softly and shifted in her sleep. As she burrowed herself deeper into the blankets, her hands curled against his shirt. Gavin stiffened, worried he’d woken her.

When she tilted her face up, Adelaide’s arm tightened around his waist. She smiled slowly. The softness of sleep still graced her features. It was the most at ease Gavin had ever seen her.

“You’re still here,” she breathed.

“Where else would I be?” he asked, stroking her hair.

She snuggled closer to him and shrugged. “Your office, like you are every morning.”

“Except for the days we have breakfast together.”

“You come back on those days to eat with me,” Adelaide laughed.

“And how would you know that?”

“Sometimes I hear you leave your room. Sometimes I hear you come back.”

“And what about today?” he found himself asking.

Adelaide frowned, looking up at him. “What about it?”

“Do you…” How was he supposed to phrase this? “Do you like that I’m still here?”

Slowly, Adelaide pulled herself up so that they were face to face. She cupped his face, and Gavin found himself leaning into the touch. He gently wrapped his fingers around her wrist, content for a heartbeat to simply exist in this moment. All he knew was that: contentedness.

From the moment her expressive emerald eyes had turned on him, all his worries had melted away like the winter frost.

“I very much like that you’re still here,” she said softly. Before her words had even sunk into his mind, Adelaide pressed a kiss to his forehead. He leaned forward as she pulled away in the hopes that a proper kiss might be shared. Gavin had to keep himself from groaning as it became apparent their lips weren’t to meet this morning. “I hope…I hope this isn’t the last…”

Gavin grabbed her hand. “It won’t be.”

Adelaide’s smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Adelaide,” he continued, stroking his thumb across her knuckles, “I have no intentions of ever hurting you, or using you. You know that, right?”

“I want to believe you…it’s just that…” She took a deep breath. “You’re an archduke, Gavin. We’re supposed to be…this was a ruse, and yet it feels real.”

“It is real. I’m here, and I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon,” he assured her. “You’re not someone to be forgotten easily, Adelaide.”

She laughed, a broken sound that cleaved his heart in two. “I am, though. I’ve survived these last four years only because I’m no one remarkable. You’re supposed to forget me.”

“Am I?” he said. Fire licked at his veins. Was that what Adelaide truly believed? That she was someone to be overlooked? “And, pray tell, why ‘should’ I?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, letting her eyes fall shut. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Not trusting an archduke? Being concerned?” Gavin brushed her hair back from her face, tracing the shell of her ear. Adelaide shivered under his touch, and Gavin wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there or pull her into his lap to be closer together. Instead, Gavin tamped the desire down and settled his hand on her waist. “I’m happy you asked me. I feel better knowing that you’re thinking about this seriously, and not playing a part in a scheme, mine or Mistress Scrabs’s.”

Adelaide blinked. Staring at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed, she asked, “Really?”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he explained. “I was worried you’d wake up and regret trusting me.”

The corners of Adelaide’s lips turned up. “I was only worried because you looked pained when I first woke up. I thought you regretted last night.”

Gavin blinked. Not for a moment had he felt conflicted in his feelings for Adelaide, especially not when he’d come into her room last night. “Never. It seems you and I had the same worry.”

Adelaide rested her head against his shoulder. “We can’t stay like this today.”

“Are you telling me or trying to convince yourself?” he teased.

“Both,” she mumbled. She sat up again, and this time, the tension had settled over her, and Gavin could almost see the dark clouds that hovered over her.

He would not put Adelaide in danger. He’d promised.

Sighing, Gavin’s shoulders slumped. He longed to stay too, but knew the longer he did, the worse Darshovi’s threat grew as the eclipse was only ten days away. Reluctantly, Gavin pulled away from Adelaide and forced himself to sit up. “I’ll make sure to be done in time for dinner.”

“That’s fine.” Adelaide sat up and pulled the blankets around herself. Gavin raised his brow at the withdrawn look that blanketed her features. “I was thinking it’s about time I report to an informant of Mistress Scrabs’s today before something bad happens again.”

Gavin froze. It would have been better had he not gotten up at all. Then neither of them would have to go about their day, and reality wouldn’t be crashing in around them now.

“You know I have to,” she said, her eyes wide and pleading.

Gavin nodded. He did. Rationally, he knew Adelaide was right and that keeping her routine would keep her safe, but his mind couldn’t help but see the way her face had tensed with pain every time she moved or how long she’d slept after her last encounter with Mistress Scrabs.

“Do you have to go alone?” he finally asked. He tried not to clench his teeth. He didn’t want her to go at all.

“It would be helpful, yes.”

“Someone will follow you then,” Gavin said, “and if it comes into question, it will only look like I suspect you of something.”

“At best,” Adelaide argued. “Gavin, please. I have to go alone. Besides, Mistress Scrabs has no reason to be there today. This is just a routine touchstone so she doesn’t get suspicious of me. I’ll be fine.”

Gavin studied her. Her hands twisted the blankets in her fists. She stared at him with what could only be desperation. Was there something she wasn’t telling him?

“All right,” he relented. “I guess it makes sense. You should go about your usual routine. That’s probably the best way to keep you safe.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Running a hand through his hair, he left the bed and crossed the room. Lost in thought, Gavin hadn’t heard Adelaide get up and follow in his path across the room. Gasping as her arms wrapped around him from behind, he turned.

“Adelaide?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I just…I didn’t want to leave things so awkwardly between us. It could only be my insecurity, but I have a bad feeling about today.”

“Then don’t go,” he pleaded, wrapping her in his embrace.

“I have to.”

“Then take someone with you.”

“I can’t.”

“Then promise me you’ll be safe,” he said, running his thumb lightly across her bottom lip.

“I promise,” she whispered. Standing on the tips of her toes, Adelaide pressed her lips to his. Gavin closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer. Nearly sighing, Gavin tilted his head to deepen the kiss, just wanting this moment to last.

Adelaide’s lips were soft and gone too soon. As she pulled away, it left him feeling empty as her warmth was replaced by the cool air of the archduchess’s suite. “I’ll be safe.”

“Thank you,” he breathed. Kissing the top of her head, Gavin added, “If anything were to happen to you, I’d never forgive myself.”