Page 17

Adelaide

F or several days after their garden escapade, Adelaide wandered Castle Belmont’s estate freely and found ways to occupy her time until Gavin joined her in the late afternoon or early evening. Some days, they even ate breakfast together in the sitting room between the archduke’s and archduchess’s suites.

At first, Adelaide had admittedly been perturbed by the fact that she couldn’t get to her room without first going through Gavin’s. But Gavin had been true to his word. He hadn’t stepped foot in the archduchess’s suite. Sometimes, he’d knocked on her door and leaned against the frame as he spoke to her, making sure she was all right and that she had everything she needed.

An easy smile graced her face. Adelaide watched the frostbitten earth pass underfoot as she wandered through the gardens. She was glad to have met someone like Gavin. Slowly but surely, the worry that constantly simmered in her gut had eased. Almost every night, they talked a little about the Den of Thieves and how Gavin intended to bring Mistress Scrabs, whoever she truly was, before the king with the charge of treason.

But with that came a different flavor of fear: what would Gavin do when he learned she’d been the recipient of the smuggled antibiotic from Darshovi that her mother needed? Would she be tried with treason for her part in the smuggling operation Mistress Scrabs had organized? Adelaide’s mood soured. Perhaps she’d only be tried for being in possession of illegal goods and spend a few years in prison or pay a fine she couldn’t afford. The soft fur-lined cloak Gavin had lent her turned scratchy. It was better than death, she supposed.

Despite how close they’d gotten since she’d moved into the archduchess’s suite and their ruse began, Adelaide couldn’t say for certain whether or not Gavin would grant her leniency for her treason.

She had no defense for it either. She could’ve refused Mistress Scrabs’s offer and asked for monetary compensation, but she’d chosen not to. She willingly accepted the medication as payment of her own free will. That, and her love for her mother.

Of course, now she knew it was merely another way for Mistress Scrabs to control her.

Adelaide had no doubt that Gavin would understand that motive, but would he be able to overlook his loyalty to Kordouva and his role in protecting its sovereignty?

She couldn’t say.

All Adelaide knew for certain was the next shipment was due in two days’ time. She had to be there. Somehow, some way, she needed to leave Castle Belmont without garnering any suspicion.

Adelaide swallowed. She was certain that if she told Gavin she needed to visit her family, he wouldn’t suspect her of any wrongdoing. As it was, he might not even notice. His days had become fuller the closer the eclipse drew. But it also meant that the estate was teeming with knights from all across Kordouva as they prepared for an attack that might not—that hopefully would not—come.

Or she could say she needed to check in with one of Mistress Scrabs’s informants to prevent any mistrust from growing there if he asked.

Adelaide bit her lip. In either case, Gavin might insist on taking an escort with her. He’d already offered to have someone accompany her when she wished to visit her family, so surely he’d offer the same if she were to tell him she intended on reporting to Mistress Scrabs.

Shaking her head, Adelaide drew her new cloak tighter around herself. Her eyes turned toward her surroundings. The evergreens on either side of the path, interspersed with forget-me-nots and roubuds, glistened in the waning sunlight.

Slowly, Adelaide wove her way back. She expected Gavin would be just about finished with his ever-growing pile of paperwork or already looking for her. She decided to check his office first before returning to her room to deposit her cloak there.

She found his office empty. Frowning to herself, Adelaide wondered if she’d find Gavin on her way to the archduchess’s suite. It would be funny if they were both looking for each other.

But their paths didn’t cross. Sighing heavily as she draped her cloak over the chest at the foot of her bed, Adelaide flopped down on the bed.

As she wondered where Gavin was and if their unstated dinner plans had changed, her eyes wandered over the rich furnishings of the room. Finely woven tapestries hung on the walls, covering nearly every inch of the plastered walls. Those and the enchanted fire that danced eternally in the fireplace kept the harsh winter chill at bay.

While the furnishings were finely made, Adelaide realized the room was rather plain. There wasn’t a personal touch to be found on the redwood dresser or the dust-coated vase on her nightstand.

Gavin had explained that the room hadn’t been used since his parents moved to the coast and left Castle Belmont entirely to him. In passing, Adelaide had heard the staff mention that it was nice to see the room used, though no one had spoken to her since she’d moved out of the servant’s quarters. Or at least, they hadn’t spoken to her like they had before. They were polite and kind, but she worried they were treating her like she was above them. She’d have to put a stop to that, somehow.

More and more she wondered why Gavin had moved her into this room. Was it truly for their ruse? Or had he merely wanted to keep her close so he could observe her? Her frown deepened. She wanted to trust Gavin. To some extent, she did trust the archduke. Wasn’t that the reason why she’d divulged her secret to begin with?

Groaning, Adelaide pressed the palm of her hands to her eyes. She took a deep breath and then another.

She wished her life wasn’t so complicated.

If it hadn’t been for the severillik, Adelaide wouldn’t be here right now. She never would’ve been manipulated into serving Mistress Scrabs, and she wouldn’t be questioning her own heart or the intentions of the White Hawk of Kordouva either.

Her heart sank the more her mind turned over the events since she’d come to Castle Belmont. From the moment she’d arrived, nothing had gone as she’d expected it to. This was supposed to be no different than the others. Archduke Gavin Hughes wasn’t supposed to notice her. Adelaide wasn’t supposed to trust him. And they certainly weren’t supposed to grow closer, like friends might.

“Are you all right?”

Adelaide dragged her hands away from her eyes and glanced toward the door. Gavin stood in the empty doorway, his face pinched with worry.

“Fine,” Adelaide said as she dragged herself into a sitting position. “You can come in if you’d like.”

Gavin shifted on his feet as if he was inclined to step away and return to his own room before he finally stepped over the threshold. Adelaide watched as he crossed the room, and she patted the bed beside her. The bed dipped as he sat. Their shoulders brushed each other. The contact sent a flurry of emotion through Adelaide. Part comfort and part unease, her mind settled as the scent of Gavin’s soap floated over her.

“Are you getting a headache? Or were you troubled?” he asked, studying her intently.

Adelaide shook her head. “No, I was just thinking.”

“Would you like to talk about it? I find it helps.” He offered her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, those striking crystal eyes that stole her breath and froze her blood shone with hesitation.

“I was just reflecting on things,” Adelaide said slowly. She watched Gavin closely to gauge his reaction and found a focused gaze and an unchanged face that might as well have been carved from stone. Her hands settled in her lap. Adelaide assumed that the archduke’s undivided attention was encouragement enough to continue. She tried to organize her thoughts and gather her courage. Taking a breath, she quickly added, “Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t become a pickpocket.” She hoped Gavin hadn’t heard her hurried admission.

But it lightened her heart to free the words from the depths of her mind, her soul.

Gavin’s hand grazed hers. Adelaide glanced down at the warm touch and back at Gavin. His eyes had turned molten, his lips turned down in a sympathetic frown. Hesitantly, Adelaide let Gavin lace their fingers together, pulling her hands away from their anxious union. Her chest buzzed anxiously in spite of the comfort his touch offered her.

“If it’s any consolation,” he replied, his voice low, “I don’t think there are many people who wouldn’t do something similar for someone they love.”

“Do you think?”

“I do,” he said confidently, “and sometimes they do so without remorse for their actions. You’re kind, Adelaide. I think you’re much too harsh when it comes to yourself.”

Adelaide’s heart stirred. Her eyes flicked to his lips before she caught herself and she glanced away. She couldn’t allow herself to get swept away by kind words and focused attention. Frowning at the voice chastising her, Adelaide meant to pull away, but never got the chance to.

Gavin must have mistaken her reaction for disbelief because he quickly added, “I mean it, truly.” The bed groaned as he stood swiftly and kneeled in front of her. He clasped her hands firmly in one of his. The other cupped her cheek like a silent plea for her to look at him.

The gesture coaxed Adelaide into looking up. When she did, she found their faces were just inches apart. Adelaide tried to keep her breathing steady, but still she could feel the fluttering in her throat as her heart beat faster and faster. She didn’t dare let her gaze drop to his lips again. Even so, Adelaide could still see the soft smile he offered as he stared up at her. Slowly, Gavin’s thumb brushed over her cheek. Adelaide longed to lean into his warm touch. Her heart ached.

“Tell me if you don’t want me to kiss you,” he said slowly, his voice barely a murmur.

Adelaide swallowed thickly. That was all she wanted. She wanted him to kiss her, and to hold her, and to tell her the loving look in his eyes was real and that the closeness they’d achieved wasn’t a manifestation of their plan. She wanted him to sweep her off her feet and help her start over, and to forgive her for her past.

Her heart and her body ached for the warm affection glowing in his eyes, melting her soul and all the threats hanging over her before they managed to detain her feelings.

Adelaide took a deep, almost ragged breath. Her mind fumbled to find a resolve she didn’t want to feel. All she wanted was for this moment to last. She ached for it to lead to something wonderful and true, something safe and sure, something that could be love.

Instead, Adelaide forced herself to turn her head away. “You shouldn’t kiss me,” she whispered. Her eyes fell shut against the sting of tears.

Just once, Adelaide wanted to listen to her heart.

But she couldn’t.

Goosebumps erupted along her arms as Gavin pulled away. Adelaide loathed the shadow lingering over her heart as Gavin’s footsteps indicated the growing distance between them, as he stepped away.

“I know you’re hiding things from me, and that you feel you can’t trust me,” Gavin started, “but I wish you would choose your own happiness, even if it doesn’t include me. But believe me when I say I hope it means choosing me too.”

The floor creaked. Adelaide’s eyes flew open. Whipping her head up, her heart spasmed. Her tongue burned. She wished she could retract her words, to tell him exactly why he shouldn’t want to kiss her, even though that was all she wanted. Gavin’s back was already to her, and he’d begun his retreat to his room.

A shock of electricity burst through her. Before Adelaide could stop herself, she lunged across the room and grabbed a handful of his shirt.

“Please,” she said breathlessly as she rested her forehead on his back, not even fully understanding what it was she was begging for in that exact heartbeat. She breathed deeply and savored the warmth that radiated from him if only for a moment.

Adelaide’s heartbeat echoed in her ears ominously as she felt him stiffen against her fingers. Her grip faltered. Slowly, he turned back around to look at her. His face was unreadable, void of any emotion known to her. Gavin caught her wrist as her fingers slipped from his shirt in her disappointment.

This was it. He was leaving. Gavin wouldn’t be her beacon, her safeguard.

Before she could even blink or the first of her tears could fall, Gavin had drawn her close to him and wrapped his arms around her, enveloping Adelaide in that warmth she’d come to crave.

His chest vibrated against her forehead as she buried her face in his embrace, too afraid and uncertain to meet his eyes.

“Let me make one thing clear, Adelaide,” he said softly. His voice held no threat, no hint of danger, not even the slightest of edges. Instead, it was smooth and gentle even as the words themselves cut deep into her marrow. The gravelly tone made her shiver. “I won’t be discarded, by anyone. You don’t have to tell me everything, or anything at all, but if you want me, it can’t be when it’s convenient for you. I don’t do halfway. So if you want to do this, to be together no matter how many steps we have to take to meet in the middle, just know I’ll be here. I really want us to be together, for this not to be some ruse or part of an investigation. Just know that.”

Adelaide curled her fingers against his chest, breathing in the scent of his soap and the wind.

“There’s…there’s something I need to tell you, Gavin.”

He held her tighter. “Whatever it is, it won’t change my mind.”

Adelaide hoped he was right. Taking a deep breath, she explained, “Do you remember that day, after…” She swallowed, finding it hard to speak about it. Adelaide didn’t like to dwell on events such as that one. It clouded her mind and prevented her from living what she could of her life as her own. Moments like that hung over her soul, waiting to snatch it up and consume her. She tried again, forcing the words past her teeth. “After Mistress Scrabs had…punished me for what happened to Jeffery—”

“ That’s why she used statique trosher on you?” he growled.

Adelaide flushed. “Yes. That and I was late in reporting my progress to her. But that’s not why I brought this up. It’s not important—”

“It is to me,” he interrupted. “She hurt you.”

“I’m fine,” Adelaide assured him, finally drawing her eyes to meet his. When she did, she found that behind the concern and the way his care for her glowed so brightly in his blue eyes was a fire that would undoubtedly protect all Gavin cared for—including her. She shivered under the intensity of his gaze. Adelaide’s lips pulled into a whisper of a smile. Her heart flooded with a dazzling warmth. “You made certain of that.”

Gavin hummed, staring back at her. He gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and cupped her face with his callused hand, lightly stroking her cheek with his thumb.

Adelaide leaned into the touch, savoring his gentleness. Whether he knew it or not, Gavin had made it very hard for her to distance her heart from him. Standing here, with him, like this, Adelaide found she cared less and less about reality or where these feelings would bring her.

“She ordered me to steal your heart, Gavin,” Adelaide murmured at last. “She wanted me to distract you so that the Eye of Behelwer would be easier to steal.”

Gavin smirked. “Well then, you’ve succeeded in one area. My heart is yours.”

Adelaide opened and closed her mouth. Her stomach twisted, knotting itself up in a panic.

“I didn’t know it, but I think from the moment we met, my heart was yours. I kept telling myself it was merely interest because I suspected you of being a thief, but the more I watched you and our paths crossed, the more I realized I was seeking you out. I wanted to get to know you. And then I overheard you singing, and I finally understood what my heart already knew.” Adelaide tried to turn away, to hide her embarrassment, but Gavin caught her chin and tilted her face up. “It was inevitable, Adelaide. You’re a puzzle to me, and I want to learn about every piece of you.”

Adelaide’s gaze drifted to his lips. The words ordering him to kiss her were on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed them down. Adelaide dragged her eyes away from his lips. When her eyes met his, Adelaide’s breath caught in her throat at the storm of emotion marring Gavin’s crystal blue eyes. Staring back into the heart of that stormy sea, Adelaide tentatively reached her hand up to his face. Lightly tracing her fingertips across the planes of his cheekbones and down to his jaw, Adelaide’s resolve weakened.

“I think you should kiss me,” she murmured.

Gavin smiled. “I’d love nothing more.”

Adelaide melted at the press of his lips against hers. Her knees went weak. Gavin’s kiss was soft but deep and thorough. Her fingers dug into his shoulders and found the firm muscles there. Fearful that her legs would collapse beneath her, Adelaide was grateful for Gavin’s arms around her. She clung to him as eagerly as he brought her closer to him. Her lungs burned, and she couldn’t ignore the ache any longer. Reluctantly, she pulled away.

“Stay,” she breathed. “Please.”