Page 37 of To Steal a Lyon’s Heart (The Lyon’s Den Connected World #85)

“I can hear that mind of yours working like a squeaky wheel,” Sam said. They climbed the stairs in the dark with his arm around her waist.

“No, you can’t,” Daisy said, though he was right—her mind was working.

She was reviewing her every interaction with Miss Smith—she couldn’t help but still think of the nurse as Miss Smith—over the past week and overanalyzing her closeness with Sam.

Did she like him? If Daisy were not here, would she have wanted to marry him? Would Sam have agreed to marry her?

Jealousy and guilt did not sit comfortably in her stomach. Jealousy, because Miss Smith had been here before Daisy was, and guilt, because Daisy had stolen the young woman’s chance to escape her family permanently. Sam would be the perfect husband for her.

But she couldn’t have him, Daisy swore. Sam was hers now. Whatever she had to do, whatever rule, contract, or social mores she had to shatter, she’d do it. She could not lose him.

So, what could she do? How could she make their marriage inevitable? How could she make Cliffton and his awful mother want to end it?

A scandal.

She froze right outside her door. Sam paused, looking down at her face.

“Daisy?”

She bit her lip, her thoughts shooting off like fireworks.

Just the suspicion of Amelia’s pregnancy and the reasons for her hasty marriage circulating about town were enough to get Daisy banished from Mrs. Miranda’s traveling party.

Despite that, Lady Claystone still thought she could save Daisy’s reputation.

But... if she were no longer a virgin, Daisy was sure Lady Claystone would reject her.

If Daisy presented herself as sullied, possibly carrying another man’s child—

Sam shook her shoulders. He stood in front of her now. She’d been so lost in her epiphany that she hadn’t seen him at all.

He cupped her face. “You’re worrying me.”

Daisy smiled. Relief, a little trepidation, and determination steeled her nerves. Could she do this? Ruin her own reputation?

“Come into my room, please.”

He was hardly more than a shadow staring down at her, his expression unreadable.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously.

“I need to tell you something. It can’t wait until tomorrow.”

The tension in his silence killed her.

“Very well.” His hands dropped from her face, and he turned, opening her door, the light of her glowing hearth revealing his less than pleased expression. He held the door open for her and Daisy entered.

“Close the door,” Daisy said, her voice barely above a whisper. She took Lady Claystone’s note from her pocket.

He watched her with suspicion as he closed the door. Daisy’s heart was pounding again, and this time she thought she might faint. She’d never been so bold. She’d never demanded something so... so wicked. But she’d never been this desperately in love.

“Lock it,” she said.

His eyes darkened with something like desire but also anger. Or dread? She couldn’t tell. But he turned the key, though he didn’t move toward her. He folded his arms.

“Won’t you sit?”

“No.”

Daisy wrung her hands. “Are you angry with me?”

“I haven’t settled on one emotion just yet. It all depends on what you need to tell me.”

She held up the note. “It’s from Lady Claystone.”

He cautiously strode forward and took the note. He opened it, Daisy holding her breath as she watched his eyes move over the words, the dim hearth light just enough to read by. He crumpled it in his fist.

“You don’t have to go,” he said. He tossed the message into the hearth and Daisy watched the flames greedily consume the paper. “Do you hear me, Daisy?” He stepped closer and took her by the arms. “You don’t have to answer her summons. You don’t have to marry him.”

“But...” How could joy and fear mix so devastatingly well?

“But what?”

Her bravery wavered. “Please hold me,” she said weakly.

His face softened and he lifted her into his arms and took her to the bed where he gently sat with her perched on his lap.

“You’re scaring me,” he said.

“I’m scared, too,” Daisy admitted.

He adjusted her, running a hand over her hair. “You won’t face them alone. There isn’t anything she can do to you—”

“It isn’t that. I’m prepared to face the consequences of breaking my engagement if I have you. But I don’t know how, unless...”

“Unless what?”

Daisy bit her lip and held his stare.

“What is it? You can tell me.”

The tension in her body might break her resolve, but she took a breath, the words fumbling in her mind. How did one ask for this?

“I want you to bed me.”

He barked out a laugh but sobered quickly. “You’re serious?”

Her head grew light. “I want you to take me to bed. Take my virginity or seduce me, whatever you call it. Ruin me.”

His face blanked. She’d shocked him.

He looked away, his gaze bouncing around the room. “Daisy... I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Now it was her turn to be shocked, and she didn’t like it one bit. He was refusing her. Her cheeks flagged with hot embarrassment as her entire plan unraveled, her self-esteem going with it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to—I do,” he said, his arms tightening around her.

“Then why can’t you? I want you to. I want this. Right now. This is the only way to ensure that Cliffton won’t want me.”

He closed his eyes in anguish. “Devil take me.” He opened his eyes and looked down at her. “I made a promise to Blakewood—”

Daisy jerked back. “You promised my brother you wouldn’t—we wouldn’t—.” Could a person die of humiliation?

He winced. “No, not in actual words. But I implied I would not seduce you. Not while we share a roof. You deserve a proper, scandal-free wedding.” He cupped her cheek. “We will have many nights, in our own bed, to make love. I can wait until our wedding night.”

Daisy could have screamed in frustration. “What about what I want?”

He raised a brow. “What is it you want?”

Daisy leaned forward, sealing her lips to his before she could lose her courage. She broke the kiss. “I want to be yours. Beyond all doubt. I want our future to be sealed by the one act that can never be undone, ensuring that I will never lose you.”

“Daisy,” his gaze searched hers, frowning in concern. “What is there to be afraid of?”

“Everything. You don’t know what the widow will ask of you and at present I am still engaged to someone else.

But if you make love to me, I’ll be yours forever.

Nothing will ever change that. I’m frightened that even if I choose you, I can still lose you.

Marrying you doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel possible.

It’s just a wish, as distant as the stars.

My hope is so fragile I don’t know what to do, Sam! ”

“Hush,” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her close. “You needn’t do anything. Nothing will take you away from me.”

“I’m only nineteen. I assure you my father can certainly keep us from marrying if he wishes.”

“Then we’ll elope.”

Daisy shook her head. “That will cause a scandal, too. The countess cares about one thing: reputation. She’d never let her son marry a ruined woman, a woman who could be carrying a bas—”

He covered her mouth with his hand. His eyes fierce. “Don’t ever say those words in reference to yourself. The situation is not so dire as that.”

Daisy took his hand and pressed it over her racing heart. “It does not feel that way to me.”

“This is not the way to convince me to bed you, darling. Fear, ruin, scandal, those words have no place in this bed. When I take you and make you mine in body and soul, there will only feelings of hunger, yearning, indescribable pleasure, and so much love. I’m no saint, but when it comes to you, I will not falter in this.

You deserve everything I can give you. Including the respect and privilege of waiting until our wedding night. ”

“I wish I could be so arrogant.”

“Arrogant?”

Daisy shrugged one shoulder. “You see, I’ve never had control of my life.

Forgive me if the notion isn’t something I can wish into existence.

The period of your convalescence notwithstanding, as a man, you’ve always been the one to decide your future.

I have not. It was decided for me at birth, and there has never been even a hint of anything else.

What I wear, what I eat, where I live, who I speak to, my interests, and who I’ll marry and bear children for.

None of these decisions were made by me.

I’ve just tried to make the best of them.

But you could never know what that feels like, or you’d understand why, no matter how you assure me otherwise, I just can’t believe that we’ll be together.

Not outside the walls of this house, certainly not once my parents return and I must go home. ”

“Bedding you won’t change that fact. Until we wed, I cannot usurp your parents’ authority. I want them to like me.”

“No, but bedding me will give me the irrefutable evidence that I’m with you.

It will give me the weapon I need to fight back if I must.” Sam disengaged himself from her and set her on the bed.

Daisy’s heart sank into the fathomless well of her fears.

“If you love me, my desires should take precedence over whatever code of honor you maintain or patriarchal notion that my virginity must be maintained for the benefit of everyone, until my wedding night.”

“ Our wedding night.”

“We can only hope at this point. My virginity holds so much sway that even you want to protect it. And Lady Claystone and Cliffton care far more than you do about maintaining all that’s proper. But that only proves that without it—by giving myself to you—Cliffton will never have me.”

She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she heard him growl. Daisy sat up on her haunches and faced him. His beautiful visage had turned savage.

“Is that what you truly want? To give yourself to me?”