Page 5 of To No End (Tales of Forgotten Fae #1)
CHAPTER
4
I dismounted from my horse outside of Gris’s family manor and tied Rain to the stone fence near the entrance. Gris was not only a lifelong friend, but someone who I had seen almost daily for years during our education at a nearby academy.
His family was only slightly less wealthy than mine, his father being an artisan known for having access to the most rare and stunning gems. He was an artist at transforming metals and stones, making jewelry for all the High Fae families in the North—including having handmade many of Queen Nyla’s diadems. It’s rumored he was hired to make Versa’s wedding ring. And by rumor, I mean Gris had secretly confirmed it for me. This is just one of the ways I knew she was aligned to a “favorable” match.
Nerves were already starting to settle in as I began walking toward the ornate front doors of Gris’s home. I wasn’t nervous about seeing Gris, more that he was going to be entirely shocked by what I would ask of him.
When I knocked three times, I was relieved that he answered the door instead of one of the staff or his parents. I needed to keep my courage up and my eyes on the prize. Which was now standing before me. All six feet of him.
Gris greeted me with a wide smile of perfectly straight white teeth that contrasted against his deliciously warm skin. I used to think of that smile as boyish and charming, but now I was doing my best to see beyond friendship and acknowledge him as a mature Fae male.
A handsome one at that, who was able to carry himself with the ease and lack of formality required of most High Fae families, since he was, in fact, not High Fae. His chocolate-brown hair was tousled and messy, and he leaned into the door frame with one arm hovering over me, accentuating his towering height. I eyed the sculpted tan muscles of his arm, his white shirt clinging to his chest in all the right spots.
“Cress, an unexpected visit. And what reason have you for gracing my doorway?”
I tried to soften my features and silken my voice before speaking. Not at all my usual with Gris.
I began coyly, “What, you don’t like surprises?”
It sounded and felt unnatural. Trying to seduce anyone was going to be a challenge for me, but putting the moves on Gris was supposed to be the path of least resistance.
Before he could respond, I added, “Are your parents home?”
He looked slightly confused, “No, they’re away showing my father’s latest creations at an exhibition a few towns away, why?”
Perfect, I thought to myself, this is absolutely perfect. I gently grazed my hand across his abdomen and stepped under his arm still framing the doorway. “Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”
I had invited myself in with a move like that, though I tried to remain sly and elusive. I didn’t tear my gaze from him as he followed me from the doorway.
Gris turned to face me as I stood in the giant foyer of his home and shook his head in amusement, shutting the door behind us with a small chuckle.
“Sure, Cress, come right in. How utterly improper of me to not have offered sooner.”
His remark was bathed in sarcasm, but that was our language. Our friendship had always been one of playful teasing and innuendo. Sometimes our dirty mouths would get the better of our education and standing.
I had been in Gris’s home many times, but trying to figure out where I’d lead him to take my maidenhead made my memory go blank.
Gris grabbed my chin and lifted my face to meet his warm honey eyes. “Cress you’re awfully dressed up today. I didn’t think you knew how to ride a horse in a dress, like a lady. To what do I owe the pleasure of this rare appearance?”
Gris knew better. He knew I wasn’t going to be seen in a dress unless it was some formal occasion.
Normally, I was in fitted trousers, a loose blouse, training attire—anything but gowns. Those were reserved for occasions not of my making. I took his coy words as my opening.
“Well, speaking of pleasure…” I smiled playfully as he released my chin, “I need to call in a favor. Our bargain.”
Gris let out a deep, booming laugh, one that echoed throughout the massive foyer. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, sliding it down a cheek to rest his chin on his fist with a look of pure disbelief. I wanted to crawl under a rock, but I knew I had to keep my composure to pull this off.
“We aren’t even fifty yet, and you’re calling in that favor? Didn’t we agree on one hundred?”
I tried to keep my annoyance at bay, “Semantics.”
He chuckled again and began to usher me to the parlor. I always enjoyed the casual, relaxed feel of Gris’s home over the ostentatious display of wealth that I grew up in. It was inviting. As we walked, he spoke.
He tried to give the appearance of taking me seriously, “No, Cress, it’s not semantics. I’m not interested in marrying anyone just yet, and we agreed we were each other’s backup plan.”
I followed him closely, doing my best to sway my hips more than I should and present as gracefully as I could muster.
“I actually don’t need the marriage part…” I trailed off, trying not to acknowledge the blushing cheeks that were now betraying me.
He grabbed a silver decanter from the bar and began to pour some golden-brown liquid into a glass.
“Oh, we’re definitely going to need drinks for this conversation.”
“But it’s only the afternoon,” I resisted, as he handed me the first glass and began to pour himself his own.
“Cress, you show up unexpectedly trying to call in a bargain not due for another seventy-five years and are now, what…asking me to bed you?” He lifted his glass and clinked it against mine.
That’s what I loved about Gris. Like me, he never minced words. Always to the point. I looked at the tempting liquid idling in the glass and threw back a giant swig, trying not to wince at the awful taste.
“Exactly! I knew I could count on you,” I exclaimed.
Gris leaned against the wall with folded arms and sipped casually from his drink. I tried not to look like I was staring, but instead mentally acknowledged all of his best features in my mind, trying to harness any attraction that I had ever felt for him buried beneath layers of friendship.
The silence between us seemed to last forever, and he just kept eyeing me. “You’re not kidding, are you?” he said softly.
I shook my head in admission while taking another sip. A little liquid courage, as I knew what he was going to ask next.
“But why now? Why me? Why here?”
I took a deep breath and once more found myself putting on the mask of lies.
“I’ve been selected to join a merchant and Seafarers as their translator. I’m leaving very soon, and I’m going to be gone…for a very long time…” My words trailed off as I bit down on the sad truth underneath that last part.
His features gradually turned from amusement to concern. The truth settled into his rigid jawline and furrowed in his dark brow. I could tell he was realizing that meant he, too, wouldn’t be seeing me anytime soon.
And at the bottom of all this, that’s what we were. The greatest of friends who in the silliness of our youth made an oath, a bargain to one another that if by our one hundredth name day, neither of us were betrothed, had found our true mates or someone to love, we’d settle on each other. Maybe in one hundred years’ time, we’d stop ignoring that minor attraction that treaded below the surface of our friendship and often erupted as flirtatious banter, sometimes jealousy, and quickly reconciled back to friendship.
“Surely, you’d rather wait? You have plenty of time. Find someone you actually care for…that way.” His voice became unsteady as he finished the sentence, his words unsettling me, because only I knew just how long a time it would be.
“No, I do not want to wait any longer.” I replied rigidly. “Please don’t make me beg, Gris! Would you really have me lose my maidenhead to some grimy Seafarer aboard a ship with no privacy?”
Gris scoffed, “I absolutely can’t be responsible for a daughter of a High Lord experiencing anything less than the respect and acknowledgment of her standing on my watch.” He paused. “Even if they say the Seafarers are quite passionate lovers...”
I rolled my eyes into a look, like one more word and he’d be explaining to his mother why there was broken glass all over her beautiful rug.
Gris began to move slowly toward me, and I could see desire building in his study of me. Something I usually witnessed him direct at one of our many fawning classmates, but it was something entirely different to see it turned toward me.
“Are you sure about this, Cress?” He placed his smooth hand around my waist and settled it on my lower back, my breath hitching audibly from the heat.
He bent down, leaning into my ear, and said in a taunting whisper, “You’re going to have to stop being so nervous at my touch if this is really what you want.”
I turned my face to match his dark gaze, and I could feel his breath on my neck. I took in the citrus scent of him, and I was failing to see how this beautiful male, this friend, had never seduced me before. Here in this space, welcoming him to cross the threshold, I realized I was entirely taken by him.
He refused to speak another word, waiting for me. I did what I knew how to do and to show him I was serious, so serious that I’d make the first move.
I quickly grabbed both sides of his face, clumsily pulled him toward me and crushed my lips to his. Fiercely and passionately, I swept my tongue into his mouth, with a dominance he reciprocated. We both tasted like the golden liquid we had just consumed, and it reminded me to have courage.
For what seemed like forever, Gris and I explored each other with our mouths—and occasionally, our hands. This was unknown territory for us both, because it was crossing a line we had clearly set for ourselves.
Friends don’t kiss this way, don’t touch this way, but I had called in the bargain and he showed little to no reluctance acquiescing. I wondered how much of that had to do with him wanting me, or wanting someone in general. Or was he really just doing this as a favor for a friend?
Gris was far more experienced than me. From the kissing alone you would not have known how inexperienced I was. But kissing had always been my favorite. I was good at it, more than good—I was great. I felt confident that I was ensnaring his lust with each swipe of my tongue across his.
When I bit down gently on his lower lip and pulled away slowly, the surprised lust flickering in his eyes started to warm me from the inside, and my stomach felt like it was beginning to tighten in knots.
Gris was taller than me, and I had to stand on the tips of my toes to keep him close. He bent down and once again spoke quietly in my ear, “Should I make you stand on your toes the whole time, or shall I take you somewhere more comfortable?”
I pulled away and glanced up at him. Hearing that smolder in his voice was like looking at a stranger, but one that I was extremely turned on by.
“I’d like that,” I practically whispered while blinking furiously to remind myself this was actually happening.
Before I could say another word, Gris picked me up and threw me over his broad shoulder, his muscular arms wrapped under my rear to hold me close while I dangled over him. This is not what I meant.
“What are you doing? Put me down.” I fought while pounding my tiny fists into his back as he kept walking, heading down a hallway to a room I’d never been in.
“Cress, you’re not in charge today, just let me lead.”
And there it was, the dance of seduction that I was not familiar with. I was used to leading, being in control, and having a well- prepared response. I hated feeling out of control. It wasn’t in my nature. I planned and prepared for everything.
I tried to lean into the moment and let Gris have his way with me, even if it meant him stupidly carrying me like a sack over his shoulder. I had to admit, this unseen side of Gris was more than just a little alluring.
He tossed me onto the bed like I weighed nothing. I looked around the room, not recognizing it and wondering where he had taken me.
He could easily read the thoughts on my face. “You’re wondering why I’ve brought you here and not my room? Well, I don’t feel like the room we’ve grown up in together is a setting that is going to do anything for either of us.”
He wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest. Gris was a quick thinker like that, but also considerate. Probably wasn’t the best idea to be in a room I’ve seen many times throughout all the ages of our youth.
The room was filled with harsh sunlight, and I was beginning to feel shy about my body being on display in all the illumination. I hadn’t accounted for the fact that my surprise visit should have been at night.
Before I could say a word, he walked over to the window and drew the lapis-blue curtains closed, leaving behind only the dim candlelight which appeared with a snap of his fingers.
It was odd to see Gris using even minor bits of magic. At school, we were discouraged from relying on our gifts and made to understand that they were a waste of focus and energy. To become reliant upon them would make us weak. It was sort of considered taboo or unbecoming to use magic for simple things.
That’s when I realized that beyond lighting the candles, he was also reading my mind. It’s how he knew I was fixated on the sunlight and the windows.
“Hey. Stay out of my head!”
I was quickly consumed with embarrassment. How many other times had he invaded my thoughts since I arrived? I would have to do my best to shield anything else for fear of him learning the truth. How was I ever going to focus on my mental shields while trying to be present for the task at hand? I hardly ever practiced keeping them up.
Before I could argue any further, he pounced on top of me. Both of his strong legs pinned me to the bed like a cage, and he leaned forward with a devious smile. “Make me.”
He could tell I was losing all confidence and quickly becoming distracted. He grabbed my chin and straightened it to look at me. “Hey, it’s ok. I won’t anymore. I just really wanted to make you feel comfortable, I thought it might be an advantage.” His voice softened with kindness.
If there was anything I could thank the Gods for, it was the realization that I had chosen wisely. It was treading in risky territory to pursue someone other than a stranger, but it was Gris’s attentiveness to me and my needs that solidified it. Despite my anxious and eager body, being pinned underneath my gorgeous friend was exactly where I was meant to be.
Gris teased me with soft kisses and spoke once more, “Cress, you’re sure?”
I nodded, and this time it wasn’t with fear and uncertainty. Gris smiled, his eyes alight with a happiness that seemed rare for him. He began to kiss down my neck with a palpable hunger. His hands roamed greedily down my sides, feeling every curve of my waist and hips.
In a swift movement, he drew one hand to squeeze my breast. I gasped in unexpected pleasure, and he swallowed the sound in between our kisses. He sat up and removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor carelessly and revealing more muscles that I had refused to acknowledge any other time I had seen him shirtless.
My eyes feasted on his body, his arms, and my gaze trailed all the way down his stomach to the beautiful V that framed the top of his pants. His skin, a stark contrast to my pale flesh, even in the dim candlelight. He was unbelievably attractive; I felt very lucky. Everything in me was growing warm, hot. I badly wanted to be rid of this horrible velvet dress.
Gris crawled to the edge of the bed and began to slowly lift my dress, trailing kisses up along my leg, and while I had no idea what a climax truly meant, that alone could have been my undoing. He pulled away and I took it as my cue.
I sat up quickly, ungracefully lifting my dress over my head and tossing it to the floor beside his shirt. I realized now I was completely naked, and he wasn’t. In my head, I was starting to panic. I had not worn anything special underneath. Nothing lacy like the growing collection Versa had in her armoire.
Embarrassingly, I had been so focused on rushing to the task at hand that I hadn’t put on any undergarments at all. Gris had not taken his eyes off me, not once. He had a look that was bordering on feral. “You naughty thing, no layers for me to peel off?”
He just stood there, drinking me in. I did the best I could to mirror his audacity and stated plainly, “Your turn.”
Gris looked shocked at my remark, then sauntered over to me as I sat in the nude at the edge of the bed. The drawstring of his trousers was now at my eye level, and it was then I could see the length of him—a hard outline straining against the confinement.
In my mind, it seemed like a powerful thing to feel like you could draw a physical response from someone this way. And in turn, he was doing the same to me; I could feel myself becoming wet like the times I had touched myself.
He began to slowly untie the top of his pants till he removed them fully, releasing himself into my view. Each line we crossed felt like the point of no return. Gris and I stared at each other’s naked figures in the dim candlelight, the increasing hunger for one another edging on unbearable.
I knew there was a whole spectrum of things we could do, but I didn’t know how long I was going to be able to keep up this show of confidence with him. Especially if I alluded to how little I knew or had experienced. I had come here with one thing in mind, and as long as that was accomplished, then I’d met my goal.
Gris lay down beside me, and we faced each other. He began to run his fingers idly along the side of my hip and slowly down my stomach. The light trail of his fingers sent ticklish sensations down my abdomen that I could feel reverberating, causing my muscles to throb. I inched closer to him and began kissing him again to distract myself from everything to come.
While his tongue danced along mine, I felt his hand inching down, lower and lower, before I grabbed it to stop him. Still trying to maintain our passionate kisses, I didn’t want him to focus on anything but what I needed done. I was beginning to ache with anticipation and frustration, all in one.
He pulled away momentarily. “Let me help you relax.”
I don’t know what he meant by that, but I was trying to follow his lead.
He continued to kiss down my neck, along my shoulder, and before I could stop him, he slipped his soft hand between my legs. There was no hiding the evidence of my want, and the next thing I knew, he began to rub two long fingers up and down my slick apex.
My breathing hitched and was starting to become uneven as he continued, no matter how much I tried to clench my thighs against his hand.
He looked me square in the eyes and asked me in a hushed voice, “Do you trust me?” All the while he dragged his fingers in a slow, fluid motion.
I thought I was going to die right then and there. This was by far the sexiest thing that had ever happened to me. As I began to mouth the word “yes,” he slowly slipped a finger inside of me and I arched my back, leaning into this amazing feeling.
Before I could show signs of wanting more, Gris continued to nibble, lick, and kiss my breasts, and with the next gentle thrust of his hand, I felt a second finger slide in. As the pressure built, my panting became increasingly obvious.
After Gris had stroked me gently into a mess, he pulled his fingers from me and I looked at him with intense need as I missed the feeling of his hand between my thighs.
Gris was intently focused on me; I had almost forgotten him and his magnificent body, his manhood that remained rock-hard. He lay back on the bed and ordered me to crawl on top of him. I hovered over his stomach, not knowing what to do next, and he could see the flushed nervousness canvassing my face.
“I want you to take me inside of you. Slowly.”
This was finally happening. I was already hot and my body ready from everything that had come prior, but now I was perspiring out of fear.
Gris placed his hands on the tops of both my thighs and spoke with all the patience in the world, “This will hurt less if you do it this way. You’re in control.”
Encouragement. Consideration. Consent. My chest felt tight with an overwhelming appreciation for the way he was helping me, guiding me through all these emotions that were racing inside me. Desire, passion, confusion, fear, nervousness, tension.
I knew I was being cared for, and I let the safety of all of that wash over me as I let the tip of his length rub against me, and it made me eager for more.
He was much bigger than the two fingers he had teased me with earlier, but I pressed on. I let my body gently lower, and he didn’t move a muscle. He continued to look at me like I was a powerful queen conquering him from above, and his admiration overcame me.
I accepted him into me further and could feel the tight sting my sister had warned me about. The pain was there, but I was too overcome with desire to please him, to please myself, and to fill this aching emptiness deep inside me.
As I slid slowly down on him, trying to ignore the minute pain, I realized in retrospect how grateful I was that he had helped me “relax” before all of this. I had been greedy in trying to rush when Gris was just trying to make this experience as good as it could be.
When I finally enveloped him entirely, he smiled and pulled my shoulders forward to kiss me. That was when I felt the first bit of pleasure from this position.
Gris gently began to make small fluid thrusts upward, watching for any signs of pain, but I did not withdraw. He framed my hips over him, and for the first time he remarked on my appearance, “You look stunning from this view.”
The view he was referring to was looking up at me while my soft breasts hung over his chest, occasionally grazing him, and normally I might have felt a bashful reaction, but there was nothing left to be shy about.
“Try moving until it feels good to you,” he offered.
With this permission I began to rock back and forth, occasionally attempting to grind in circles until I found a sensation I wanted to keep. The whole time he patiently waited while I explored how my body felt and navigated any traces of pain.
He did his best to keep control and make this about me. He reached up and squeezed my breast and continued exploring with both hands gripping my rear to rock me back and forth. I became even wetter and more fulfilled.
After a short while, when he was confident that I was okay, he asked me if he could try something else. I nodded in agreement, and he lifted me off of him, gently laying me flat on my back.
He moved to the edge of the bed and positioned himself. I sighed in anticipation as he spread my thighs and stared down at me. A hunger glowed in his eyes and I took that as a sign that I had no reason to be embarrassed.
He moved toward me and placed himself at my entrance. I wanted to slide myself down upon him, but Gris gave me that look of Relax, let me lead . I tucked away my tendency to rush and let him gently enter me.
He went slowly, letting me feel each inch as he filled me. This angle felt entirely different than the one before, and I was pleased with his exploration.
Once fully inside, he began to thrust slowly, and I could feel him hitting the depths of me as I tightened around him with each stroke. He let out a groan, and I loved the thought that I was pleasing him. That somehow, in all my inexperience, this moment was not entirely a waste of time for him.
As he began to move, I urged him on. “Faster,” I panted, trying to know my own body and what it was telling me. Gris began to move more vigorously, and I continued to tighten all around him.
My breaths became ragged and I arched into him, trying to feel even more. He began to move with more speed, still focusing patiently on me and my needs. As he moved in and out, he pressed his thumb down against the sensitive area above my entrance, making tiny soft circles into me that made all the nerves in my body stand on edge.
I began to moan loudly, uncontrollably, and just as I was starting to feel the rhythm of my own true pleasure, I think the sounds of me enjoying myself had thrown Gris overboard as I felt him strain into his climax.
Within seconds, he crashed into my chest and I felt his release. Our overheated bodies crumpled against one another and we lay there for a time, panting until our breaths returned to a normal rhythm. I didn’t know what to do at this point. I just began running my hand through Gris’s messy hair and idly dragging my fingertips along his wide back with the other.
Gris didn’t look up but spoke the words sweetly against my stomach, “Are you okay?”
I cleared my thoughts and tried to focus on evaluating how I felt. I felt sore for sure, but nothing horrible. Logically, I was appreciative of the gentleness, awareness, and enthusiasm with which he handled this entire request.
But emotionally, I was an absolute wreck. I knew how fleeting all of this was. And even though I was happy to check it off the list, that it was finally something I could acknowledge and move past, I couldn’t ignore this closeness I had felt with Gris.
I tried to imagine what it would be like with someone I actually cared for in that way, someone I loved or, even scarier, a true bonded mate.
It was a whole new world I had just opened the door to, and yet my time to explore it seemed limited and pointless. I concealed my internal struggle so as to not give Gris the slightest hint of concern. I would in no way have him thinking that I experienced displeasure in the slightest.
I replied, “It was perfect, Gris. You’re perfect.” And I meant it for so many reasons.
It made no difference that he found his pleasure before I could meet mine. That wasn’t what this was about, and he had made sure to think of all the things that I did not. The only thing that would make it more perfect was if I didn’t have to live with the sinking feeling that I had just lied to one of my best friends.
I felt like I used him for a reason he didn’t truly understand, and that this might as well be a final goodbye because I didn’t know if I could bring myself to see him again after this. Not if it meant farewell for good.
Gris rolled off of me onto his stomach, and for some reason, we both seemed entirely comfortable just lying around in the nude together. I guess Versa wasn’t lying when she said things like this would only bring you closer. I certainly didn’t expect to ever become this close to Gris—but he was perfect.
He grinned at me and remarked, “I should have made more bargains with you, Cress.”
I gave him a snarky look and shot out my foot to push him off the side of the bed, but he caught it and pulled himself closer to me. The silence between us started to make me nervous, and I focused on keeping up my mental shields now that we both weren’t distracted with each other’s writhing bodies.
“You’re still a great kisser,” he remarked, and I remembered back to that time we had both agreed to “practice” with one another just so that we wouldn’t make fools of ourselves when those that “mattered” came along.
I winked at him, “You’re alright yourself.”
He knew I was just holding back on inflating his ego, and just like that, we were transitioning back to friends, who we were before I brazenly showed up at his front door requesting a far-fetched bargain be redeemed.
Gris climbed from the bed and handed me my dress. He pointed me to the washroom nearby and asked if I needed anything to tidy up. He remarked that I better not go back home looking like I fell off a horse. He didn’t need my father finding out where I had returned from and demanding Gris’s head on a pike.
When I returned to the bedroom, it was clear that Gris had used magic to straighten the place to appear as if no one had stepped foot in there. I gave him an eye roll.
“Out here just throwing magic around?”
He sighed, “Oh, you’re lucky I didn’t use any magic while you were riding me.”
His remark stopped me dead in my tracks, and I’m sure the shock was written all over my face. I had never considered the use of magic in the bedroom or with partners. Was that a thing? Versa had never mentioned that. Now I was exploding with curiosity.
He added, “Can’t use my whole bag of tricks on the first go around.”
What did he mean by that? Was he trying to imply there was going to be another time?
I let him guide me back to the foyer, asking if I wanted anything to drink. I was desperately parched, so I asked him to fill me a canteen of water to take with me.
“Leaving so soon?” he questioned with dismay.
This interaction was odd. This was not like Gris—implying a second rendezvous and unsettled by my quick exit. Was he suddenly pining for me? I didn’t want to disappear on Gris, not after the kindness he showed me today. I knew he’d take it the wrong way. He’d internalize everything if I didn’t at least come back to say goodbye.
“I just thought, you know, with you having to leave for your new adventure you might want to stay longer. My family won’t be back for a while, we’ll have the whole manor and grounds to ourselves.” That last remark came with a nefarious look, and I could see the lust still lingering in his stare.
There was no possibility of me staying. I had a lot to process, and I wanted badly to speak with my sister. I also didn’t want to have to spend any more time discussing that awful lie about my new role with the Seafarers, all while struggling to keep my guard up so I wouldn’t run the risk of him finding out where I was truly headed.
“I have to go. My sister is going to be livid that I didn’t help with the wedding planning at all today.”
I could see the disappointment sprawled across his face as he went to hand me the water…to go. I also knew deep down I had no other intention than checking item number one off my list, and I couldn’t get distracted. No, not now that I had other things to accomplish.
Letting myself stay longer or visit more would just send me into a spiral that I wouldn’t be able to climb out of. And even though this new weird spark between us was something that I’d possibly delight in exploring, it was wrong. I didn’t want to hurt him any more than I already would once he found out I was never returning. I took the water from him and began to make my way to the front door.
I could feel the traitorous tears beginning to form at the bottom of my lashes. The impending permanent goodbye loomed over me. While I could come to see Gris again, it was the reminder that these were the goodbyes I’d need to perform for anyone I cared about. The sting of that truth was becoming all too real. During this time with Gris, I had managed to mostly ignore my fate, but now it was torment. My emotions grappled with the inevitability of one of my lifelong nearest and dearest friends slipping through my fingertips.
I turned and plunged myself into him, throwing my arms around his giant torso, hugging and squeezing him tightly. His body was still radiating heat from our time together.
I was saying goodbye, even if he didn’t realize it. “Thank you, Gris, for letting me call in a bargain…seventy-five years early.”
He laughed, hugging me back, and gently kissed the top of my head where his chin rested.
He released me, and as I began to head down the steps toward my horse, he called out, “Maybe I was the fool for needing one hundred years.”
And then it hit me like a sharp stab in the chest. Words like daggers indicating he had felt something and I had done exactly what I had hoped to avoid. I didn’t want him to feel anything for me. I didn’t want him to question if there could be more, because there couldn’t.
I couldn’t have trusted a stranger with this, to ensure I was treated properly as I knew Gris would. That’s all this could be. I bit back the tears and mounted Rain.
Before I rode away, I yelled back to Gris, “You wouldn’t be the first fool.”
It was cocky, sarcastic, and something he and I would have said to each other before I selfishly asked to cross the boundaries of our friendship.
Just as I rounded the corner, I heard him yell out his response coated in longing, “And I won’t be the last!”