Page 9

Lydia

Lydia pulled a pillow over her face and let out a groan into the fluffy mass, shrinking into her mattress and away from the offending morning light. And it wasn’t just because her head felt like the screeching stable cat had taken up residence.

No, it was because she had worked up the courage to approach Mr. Campbell.

No, Lydia, you drank up the courage . Hence the aching megrim.

But she hadn’t drank enough. Because she remembered the entire embarrassing ordeal. The one where she’d stumbled and hiccupped and-and-and fondled him. And he’d gallantly refused her advances and escorted her home, ever the gentleman.

“Ooof, that was some groan.”

Lydia rolled to her side and peeked over her pillow at her husband, who stood in the doorway of their adjoining chambers. He absently slapped his gloves against his thigh, head cocked at a curious angle. He was dressed for travel, only missing his great coat.

“Care to speak of it?” he asked, stepping into her room.

She sat up, holding the coverlet to her chest. “I kissed Mr. Campbell,” she blurted.

Freddy blinked twice. “Oh. Well, that’s great news, is it not? You have landed yourself your Scot.”

“He…urm…was not interested.”

Her husband’s chin jerked back, amber eyes going owl-wide. “Wasn’t interested? What fool wouldn’t be interested in you? I can’t think of a man in England who would refuse you.”

She stared at him pointedly. He rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s different. I was already in love when I met you. No one can hold a candle to my Hannah. But no other man in the world has a Hannah, so they would obviously be interested in you.”

Her lips twitched. “You know I’m not offended in the least. I was just teasing Freddy.

No explanation necessary. The way you love Hannah…

” Her heart pinched, and she let out a wistful sigh.

One that was thick with longing. “You are so sickeningly, adorably in love, Freddy. And it hurts because I want that, too.”

She dropped her gaze to her lap and said in a small voice, “I wish the world was a different place and you could have married her. I cannot imagine what it must be like for her. For the both of you.”

The soft tread of footsteps filled her chambers and then Freddy’s warm hand was squeezing her own, then again harder until she met his gaze.

“Lyd, listen to me. I love Hannah more than anything in this world—aside from Felix, Fitzwilliam, and Felicity, of course. And no, it is not easy on her. But we have made do the best we can with the situation life offered us.”

His voice dropped, the most serious she’d ever heard him.

“I do not regret you in any way. You are my dearest friend, Lyddie. You have given me the most precious gifts in our three children. You blessed me with a family, and I love you and those children dearly. I would not change a thing, because then I wouldn’t have them.

And I want you to be happy, too. Permit me to make some discreet inquiries in London? Let us find you love, Lyddie.”

“I just really wanted to see if I could have that with him,” she said, and winced at the petulance in her tone. “I cannot explain it exactly, but my heart has always wanted him, I think.”

“And you are certain he isn’t interested?”

“When I tried to kiss him, it was as though he turned to ice. And quite quickly pulled away. And insisted I was too drunk to be thinking clearly.”

Freddy held up a hand. “Wait a moment. You were drunk?”

She frowned. “Well, yes, Freddy. How brazen do you think I am? I needed something to bolster my confidence before I propositioned a man. When I have almost no experience with men. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Well, my respect for Mr. Campbell just went up in spades.”

Lydia glared at him. That wasn’t a very nice thing to say. “You are reveling in my rejection?”

“He didn’t want to take advantage of you in a situation where you didn’t completely have control over your person. Not to mention, he’s probably terrified of losing his position. He’s an honorable man, Lyddie.”

“So how do I convince him this is acceptable? That I may be married, but…” Good Lord, what a convoluted situation. How did one go about telling a man, I’m married, but my husband has no qualms if I get in your bed. Encourages it, in fact!

“Perhaps try to have the discussion without the influence of drink.” He patted her thigh. “Now I best be off. My carriage is being readied. I’m for London.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

“Safe travels, Freddy. Give Hannah my best. And have a lovely fortnight celebrating your love and Valentine’s Day.”

That last bit might have come out a bit grumbly.

Freddy laughed and chucked her under the chin. “Good luck, Lyddie. I hope you catch yourself your own valentine.”