Page 26 of Timber Hollow

26

No take backs

eleven days to full moon

S ince getting back home, I have barely had the time to do anything other than eat, sleep, and go to work. My books were all delivered yesterday while I was at Coyote Bills, various boxes stacked in the halls and living room just waiting for my attention to put them on my shelves. Today is my first day off since getting back to town, and of course, I've been playing phone tag with just about everyone I know.

First, Sam calls to tell me she's ending her lease agreement, and moving. Miss hot-stuff-neighbor is actually kind of crazy. Like, the bad kind of crazy. Sam hasn't decided where she's going to move yet, just wanted someone to listen to her complain, which I was glad to do after all the ways she's helped me over the years. Since it was in the middle of the night for her, she lost steam within fifteen minutes, claiming to need to crawl into her bed.

Before I even manage to sit up, Ivy calls. Of course, I answer it, greeting her with a simple "Morning."

"Morning? It's like Noon." She chortles.

"Shh, I'm barely awake."

"That's fair. Can I ask you to pick up a few extra shifts this week? We're down a coyote now."

"What happened?" A yawn interrupts the rest of my sentence. "And yeah, sure. Not today though. I need more sleep."

"I had to let go of Jill. George caught her taking money from the till last night after you left."

Immediately, I feel so much more awake. "Holy shit."

"Yep. So I'll be looking for a new bartender. If you know anyone, send them my way." She says, and I hear the clanging sound of her keys as she unlocks the doors to the bar.

"For sure. How many do you need me to pick up?" Can't say I'm that upset, more shifts equals more money. Which is always helpful, insurance on a sports car is exceedingly expensive— as it turns out. Luckily I can pay for a year’s policy and get a discount. Otherwise… I don’t think I would be able to keep the beast.

"Literally as many as you can. I know you just started, but I trust you." Ivy says, a thread of vulnerability in her usually confident voice.

"Of course. I'm here if you need to talk, about anything, you know that, right?"

"Did you know the night you left I was visited by a certain Dante Kincayd ?" Ivy takes my offer to gossip, immediately.

"Wait, you were? Why?"

"He kept asking where you'd gone on that plane. I didn't tell him, but he was quite determined."

"What did you do to him?" I chortle, knowing if the roles had been reversed I would have tortured the poor bastard for asking or even thinking I'd spill my girl's secrets.

"Oh, nothing much. I don't think I'd mind it if he followed me home again though." She says, and I can hear the smile on her face.

"Oh, it's like that huh?"

"I know you have eyeballs, that man is fucking eye candy. "

"Yes, yes he is. Did you give him your number?"

"You're a menace."

"Sure am. Did you though?"

Ivy can't hide her giggle. "Yes. He's even sent me a contact photo. Of him. On his bike. With his helmet on…"

"So you're into masked men, huh?" I chortle at her, absolutely unable to resist teasing.

"A MENACE I TELL YOU. You're a menace ." Ivy says, laughing. "Alright, I have to go and get the bar open. I'm covering Jill this morning and then Angel is coming in. But I can count on you for tomorrow right?"

"Of course."

"Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver," Ivy says, then hangs up after we say goodbye.

Finally, I manage to crawl out from under the covers and into the shower. I don't have the patience for an everything shower, but I do at least wash my hair and deep condition it, scrubbing last night's sweat from my skin.

When I leave the bathroom, I dress in loose sweatpants, and a cami with a built-in bra, flannel tossed on overtop. The house is uncommonly quiet, and if it weren't for the sound of running water coming from one of the other rooms I would have said I am alone.

And of course, as soon as I step foot into the kitchen, my Mom calls me.

Immediately, my lighter mood from talking to Ivy is ruined.

I barely utter a "hello" before my mom starts in.

The first item on the docket, I suppose, is just to bitch at me."Hello to you too. How come I haven't seen you more since you came home?"

All I can do is blink at the abrupt audacity of my Mom. "Sorry, I've been busy I guess with work."

"Not too busy to spontaneously fly back to California, from what I hear." She says, and then for the next forty-five minutes she carries on, and on about it, and how she only heard from Aggie that I'd left after I was already home.

According to her, I'm a very ungrateful daughter who likes to worry her, just for the fun of it. Of course, she doesn't say so in so many words. The message is still received loud and clear though.

"It wasn't really spontaneous , I had some things to deal with. Again, I am sorry for worrying you."

She jabbers in my ear louder than required again. "I just don't understand why you don't talk to me about things anymore." My mom signs heavily into the phone, making me wince. "Okay. Well, I better get going. Your sister and Daisy will be here soon for dinner. Can I expect to see you, or are you too busy?"

Cradling my forehead in my palm, I say "I don't know Mom, it's been a long few days."

"Figures. Well, you're welcome to come. Love you, Bye."

"Bye, Mom," I say hollowly into the phone. "Love you too." I parrot the words back to her, the echoes of her tinny voice coming from the speaker. When I end the call I let the phone drop to the counter below me with a clatter. I just barely resist the urge to smash my forehead against the counter as well.

"Why did you come home?" Jay asks from the doorway, and I have no idea how long he’s been standing there… watching me as I rub my temples in slow, soothing circles.

Any conversation with my mom leaves like this, irritated, and inexplicably sad. Jay's question throws me off guard, and ridiculously, raises my hackles. I'm so tired, but even that doesn't distract me from how delicious Jay looks, and how much that gets under my skin. His eyes are more blue than green today, and the grey shirt that he has stretched across his shoulders accentuates the blue of his iris.

"For shits and giggles," I reply, closing my eyes. I can't cope with his all-seeing stare, not today. He's always peering down into the depths of my soul and seeing far more than I intend to let him.

"Answer the question." Jay demands, a quick glance through my lashes tells me he is now standing still as stone against the counter.

"Why do you care?" I snap, not meaning to, but I'm just exhausted.

"Artemis."

" What?" I growl, snapping my eyes open, not even needing my wolf to create such a sound.

" Answer the question ." He commands, the flash of his wolf making mine rise.

Fuck that. I shove away from the island and start to walk away.

Always running away. My wolf says, inky black tail twitching.

Be quiet.

"Baby Girl," Jay says, halting me in my tracks with a shiver running down my spine. He is still leaning against the counter, though his arms are now crossed. I can't decipher the look in his eye, the small smile curving his mouth. "Answer. The . Question."

What little control I have over myself, over my galloping heart and delusional hopes snap in an instant .

" What do you want from me , Jay?" I holler, feeling like a volcano, finally exploding. "Do you want me to tell you all my sad little secrets?" I spread my arms wide. "Do you want me to tell you all the little ways I've had my heart broken? That I was sad and just wanted the comfort of the trees I knew?" Tears leak out of my eyes, unbidden.

The heat in his eyes ignites the more I lose control of my emotions, the flash in his eyes telling me his wolf is raging.

"Do you want to hear about all the ways I've let other people chip away at me? How I didn't even fucking care until I woke up with you in my bed? That I didn't even notice how lonely I was until I came home?" I take a deep, ragged breath. Jay still doesn't move.

"Or did you want me to tell you that when I left I was angry and lost but most of all I was heartbroken? So I packed up and I ran and ran and kept running until I couldn't tell which way was up, " My chest feels like it is cracking wide open, and there stands Jay, against that fucking counter not moving.

" Ask me why I left." I fling the words at him like arrows.

"Why did you leave Baby Girl?" Jay's voice drops lower, not like he was afraid to ask, but… there is something .

"Because I fucking heard you . Heard you talking to Brandon and Mike about how I make this sound right before I cum and how dick whipped I was," I threw up quotation marks around my words, mocking Jay's lower voice. I see the flinch, how he tries to mask it. But I still see it. "I turned around and left that night. Walked back to my house, packed my shit, and then I was gone ."

The sound of my ragged breathing fills the kitchen, marking the passage of time.

"How long did it take you to notice I was gone, Jay? Did you even notice at all?" The silence stretches, and the itch to leave, to shift and run is tangible.

"Right. Got it." I say when he just looks at me, swallowing my grief, just like I always do. A heartbeat, then another echoes in my ear. I'm sure that my heart is going to burst, that it will explode right here and I'll be left hollow- forever. I make it exactly one-quarter turn away from him before Jay finally speaks.

"Ask me why I said those things." He says, arms now uncrossed but the white-knuckled grip on the counter betrays his calm facade.

I can't say what possesses me to ask, but I do, unable to raise my voice above a whisper. Braced against the inevitable- that he'd meant those things, I ask. He's going to say that he wasn't sorry. That whatever this is that we've been doing for the last few weeks was going to end. That it'd all been a lie.

"Because I was young. And stupid. And I thought it made me sound cool. I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry, Artemis." Jay says, unflinching. A shuddering, heaving breath fills my lungs.

"And for the record, I noticed right away. I went looking for you when I saw the stands letting out and found Sarah who'd said you'd gone looking for me. Didn't even cross my mind that you might have heard the conversation. And then I figured I'd see you at the party, and you never showed. Then when days passed without a word from you I figured your mom had taken your phone again and then I had to go."

I remember all of Jay's texts. One or two at first, and then when he had to go to his grandparents he sent one last message- that he was leaving. And he'd miss me.

I never did respond to any of them. Had I managed to keep that phone these last seven years I think those messages would still be in my inbox. I hadn't ever been able to bring myself to delete them. And when I'd lost that phone on the banks of the Colorado River after a full Moon run and romp that I'd promptly regretted, I'd been devastated. Not for the loss of the phone, but because that had meant I'd lost my last tenuous connection to Jay.

"Eventually I took the hint that you didn't want to talk to me," Jay shrugs his shoulders, the motion loosening some of the tension in his grip. "But that never lasted long before so I decided to wait. But you never came back. Until now." The ticking of the clock is the only sound in the house for a moment.

"Are you still waiting?"

"Waiting? No." Jay says, and my heart shatters like glass. I could swear the cracking sound was audible. "But I'll give you the world if you let me." My breath catches in my throat.

I don't respond right away, needing a minute to process that this is actually happening and not all in my head. "What if I don't want the world?"

"I'll let you go if you can tell me that is what you actually want. Tell me you want me to stop and I'll stop. But you can't lie to me, Artemis. I've lost you once, I can manage it again, if that's what you want. So don't spare my feelings. Tell me what you want."

"What if all I want right now is this? Whatever this is?" I blurt, gesturing between the two of us.

"I can work with that."

Neither of us moves for a moment. The muscle in his jaw feathers, then he pushes away from the counter, taking slow, measured steps around the island that I'd been leaning against during my phone call. I swear my feet have grown roots, anchoring me to the spot while Jay stalks towards me.

I'm not running this time. Not anymore. Not from Jay.

Jay raises a hand, warm palm wrapping around my neck, and he continues walking, guiding me back against the doorframe. Pushing his hips into mine. His thumb caresses the line of my pulse, so I know he can feel just how rapidly my heart is pounding.

"No takebacks." He says quietly, blue eyes searing into me.

"No takebacks," I whisper a promise I'd made a long time ago, renewed.

Jay kisses me, deepening the contact immediately. I'm lost, lost in the feeling of him, of not having to hide how much he affects me anymore.

"I've missed you so fucking much," Jay says, lifting me into his arms. I wind my legs around his waist without hesitation.

"I missed you too."

"I'm fucking, glad , Gorgeous." He says, sealing his mouth over my neck.

"Yea?" I moan, tilting my head to give him better access.

"Fuck yes. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't want this. Us." Jay says, pulling back to look at my face as he says the words.

My heart feels like it's going to explode, so I say the only thing I can think of. "It's always been you, Jay."

"Always?" He asks, throat bobbing.

"I gave you my heart a long time ago, and you never gave it back," I admit quietly. To myself, and him.

"Never going to," Jay says, moving us. He walks us up the stairs, and into his dark room without breaking stride.

"Sounds a little selfish." I laugh when he tosses me to the bed, breathless as he stands over me.

"When it comes to you, Darlin, I'm the most selfish man in the world."

"Yea?"

"Absolutely."

"But you don't do jealousy?" I tease, referencing what he said the first time we had sex in this house, propped on top of his bed on my elbows.

"Nope."

"What does that even mean, anyway?" I ask, watching Jay crawl over his mattress in the darkened room to me.

"I don't do jealousy means I don't care if you think someone else is hot because I'm the one in between these thighs and I'm the one under your skin and we both know what that means, Gorgeous," Jay says, holding himself above me, watching my face.

"You make good points," I murmur, laying back on the pillow, pulling his shirt up to access the planes of his stomach.

"Do I?"

"Mhm. Now come here and show me how much you missed me, Big Guy." I say, grinning up at him. With a quick tug of my fingers, his shirt comes off, dropping to the floor somewhere behind him.

"Thought you'd never ask," Jay smirks back, lowering his mouth to mine, his body now flush with every inch of me. A slow rock of his hips into mine when he deepens the kiss coaxes a gasp from my mouth. Jay waits only a few more minutes before he's pulling my tank over my head, spanning my ribs in his palms.

Then he's trailing hot kisses down my neck, my collarbone to my chest, swirling his tongue around a peaked nipple. I moan, scraping my nails across his shoulders. Jay groans back, resuming his path down my body. He barely pauses before he's tugging my sweats off, baring me to him. Then he's lowering his mouth to my center, locking his blue eyes onto mine.

Immediately, I moan, widening my legs, tilting my hips. Jay lets his hands roam all over my body as he sucks and laps at my clit, pulling more and more desperate moans from my mouth. When he dips two fingers into my pussy, I gasp, rocking my hips in time with his motions.

"Fuck, that feels good-" I whimper, grabbing onto Jay's hair. Jay groans in response, sounding more animal than man, making my nipples tighten painfully. It seems like it's barely taking him any effort at all to coax pleasure from my veins, making my skin feel alight with ecstasy.

"That's my girl, you want to cum, don't you?" Jay murmurs, slowing his movements, adding a third finger.

"Yes!" I gasp, my back arching—my orgasm barely contained.

Jay's chuckle against my clit makes me whimper. "Go on then. Cum on my face like a good girl." A crook of his finger, and then rapture. Orgasm blows through me like a hurricane, making my legs shake and my breath stall in my lungs.

"That's my girl," Jay groans with approval against my skin, withdrawing his fingers, and moving up my body. Then he’s lining up his cock, slowly pushing into me. Jay catches my gasps with his mouth, kissing me as I stretch around him.

"Fuck-" I moan again, clawing at his shoulders.

"Relax baby, it'll fit, we know you can take it." He murmurs against my neck, and I'm so full, so sensitive that just a small shift of his hips, sending that big cock deeper into me makes pleasure spark up my spine, earning him another whimper.

"Fuck, I love that sound-" Jay groans, trailing hot kisses down my collarbone.

"Jay- please- " I moan, pulling him in deeper.

"Please, what, Gorgeous?" Jay quips, winding a hand around my throat.

"I want it all," I demand, kissing down his neck.

Jay smiles, then hooks one of my legs over his shoulder, resting his forehead against mine. "Anything you want." The new angle gives Jay all the room he needs, rocking in and out of me over and over again as he kisses me madly like I'm the only thing he needs in the world to survive.

Again and again, Jay moves inside me, thrusting deep and slow. And again, and again he sparks pleasure everywhere he touches, everywhere he kisses.

It’s perfect. When he reaches down to rub my clit in slow circles, I see stars, moaning into his mouth "Yes, yes yes-" Jay moves his hand around my throat, rolling his hips plunging in and out nearly all the way.

Jay's breathing turns ragged, wild and I can't do much else other than wiggle my hips, but I'm desperate for him— for this, us. It only takes a few more strokes of Jay's delicious cock for my orgasm to fizzle over my skin. Then Jay's movements turn jerky, his thrusts harder and harder, until he plunges deep into me to the hilt, groaning.

With our ragged breathing filling Jay's room, he slowly withdraws from me, collapsing on the bed beside me. After a moment he says, "Artemis," softly. I turn my head to look at him, scrunching my eyebrows together.

"I love you," Jay says simply, making me feel like my heart is going to burst right out of my chest, my eyes burning like tears are going to leak.

So I say "I know. You didn't have to say so," I swear my teeth are going to pierce my lip with how hard I'm biting it to contain my smile.

Jay scoffs, then rolls halfway onto his back before I'm moving, pushing him the rest of the way over, straddling his waist. " Jay ," I simper, giving him my best angelic smile.

"Artemis?" He replies, eyes guarded.

"I love you." And then he's smiling, cheeks flushed, chest gleaming with sweat.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I respond immediately. His smile turns devious, and his cock twitches under me. Jay shifts, hands traveling up my thighs to rest where they join my hips. When I shift in return, sliding along the length of him I am rewarded with a gasp from his lips.

"You know what I want?" Jay says, a desperate thread in his husky voice.

"What's that?"

"You just like this." He replies, moving me, stroking himself with my still-soaking center.

"Say please" I gasp, pleasure sparking up my spine.

"Please" Jay immediately groans, " Please , Artemis," Jay begs, "please ride me, baby." With him beneath me, a new fire alights in my blood. All it takes is a quick shift of my hips. Rising, then sinking down on the full length of his cock in one fell swoop.

"Fuck- I gasp, Jay moans, his fingers indenting my hips with bruising force.

And then we're moving again, no longer desperate, but every touch of his on my body sends pleasure ratcheting higher and higher.

Jay and I stay locked up in his room until the Sun sets.