Page 21 of Timber Hollow

21

Heartstrings

twenty two days to full moon

E ventually, I make my way back to the apartment by late morning. I only have about an hour to catch a nap, grab a quick shower, and then leave again. Still wearing my wolf’s black fur, I hesitate at the edge of the tree line.

There is a waffle weave black bathrobe waiting for me, hooked over the end of a broken tree branch.

It smells like Jay.

Shifting nearly sends me to my knees, but even if I don’t collapse in the dirt, I still tremble and quake with every step up towards the house, and up the steps. Once inside the door, I hear Saint cooking in the kitchen and try to sneak upstairs to my room. Of course, Jay pops his head around the doorway immediately and spots me. His face is guarded, and I hate it.

"Morning, Gorgeous" he immediately greets, coming around to lean against the doorframe.

"Hello, sailor," I grumble, feeling my precious time erode every second it takes to get up these stairs and bury my face in the pillow I know must smell like him and crash.

"What are you doing?" Jay asks, moving to keep me in his line of sight as I climb the stairs.

"Crashing until I have to go to the Forge." I grouse, adding "Who's asking?"

"No Forge today. Bosses orders." He winks, then turns around and goes back to the kitchen. I'm left gaping at his back from over the railing. Does that mean Magnus's orders, the boss at the Forge, or… His? Is Jay the boss at the Forge?

"Bosses orders?" I finally manage to shout at his retreating form, which is met with a chorus of laughs from however many of them are in there. Holy shit, Jay is the boss at the Forge. It sounds like more than just the boys, so that must mean that Alex and Helena are still staying here.

Honestly, I haven't seen the hide nor hair of either of them since before the full Moon. Good to know they're still around and Jay's presence in my bed is just a matter of convenience.

Nothing has changed.

Everything between us is exactly the same as it has always been. I fall too deep, let my heart make leaps my mind knows aren't reciprocated.

Awesome.

At least I have more than an hour before I need to go to Coyote Bills.

My wolf doesn't so much as huff an amused snort at me, deep in the confines of my mind where she sleeps. And now that I'm thinking about it, half my days at the Forge, the other at the bar, sleeping, and then doing it all again doesn't sound too bad. It will make it easy to stay out from under Jay. Easy to do other things than just thinking about climbing him like a tree and fucking him senseless at every waking hour.

Because clearly, this is a game to him. A game I have no way of winning, since he doesn't 'do jealousy'.

My chest feels heavy and tight . It’s what makes me slam the door closed as I enter my room. The clothes from the bar last night are lying folded on top of the dresser, and my phone is plugged into the charger. I ignore the way my eyes burn, the way my chin wobbles.

I don't stop on my way through to the bathroom, showering the forest off as quickly as I can manage, drying similarly. Not even bothering to put on clothes I fall into bed, pulling the covers over top of my head.

My eyes are closed for all of three minutes before I realize I have forgotten to set an alarm. Adrenaline spears through me, my heartbeat skyrocketing. Blindly reaching out of the cocoon of warmth and Jay's scent filling my nose, I grab my phone. The screen's illumination blinds me for a moment as I navigate the apps to make sure I have plenty of time to get ready for the bar. Task complete, I shove the device back onto the nightstand, determined to rest for at least a little while.

My good intentions of waking with plenty of time to get ready for the bar are shot to hell by my repeated snooze alarms. So, when I do finally crawl out of the bed I don't have time to do much other than messy space buns and a quick face.

I smell like Jay. Sleeping on his pillow has made my hair smell like him, and the few pieces of it that I leave out to frame my face waft his scent into my nose with every breath.

Does it make me a masochist to enjoy this as much as I hate it?

The inky black fur of my wolf rustles, before her golden amber eyes peer out at me. In the broad sense, probably, she replies.

A snort my mother would chide me for being unladylike escapes my throat as I make my way down the stairs.

Of course, Jay meets me at the door.

I don't know how he fucking does this, and I wish I had the common sense to tell him to stop.

It's because you like it. My wolf snarks at me, doing the wolfy equivalent of rolling her golden eyes.

Who asked you?

"Will I be returning your car for you again this evening m'lady?" Jay asks in a British accent, holding what looks like half of a sub and a can of fizzy battery acid with caffeine. I accept the drink, but not the food.

Leave it to Jay to leave out all the tough bits. "Nope," I answer back, swallowing razor blades.

"Would you like me to bring the boys down tonight? Slap us around a bit?" Jay asks, quirking a smile at me.

"Do what you want, Jay." I snap and make my way to push past him. His hand around my bicep halts me in my tracks.

"Hey, what's wrong Gorgeous?" He asks, staring down at me with those unfathomable eyes.

I don't know what takes over me, what makes the words come out, but they do, one after another I croak the words. "What are we doing here, Jay?" This particular question has been lodged in my throat since that party.

"What we always do." Jay’s answer is easy. It just rolls off his tongue.

"You mean I lose myself in all your pretty words, and you break my heart again?" My newfound boldness makes the words tumble out. My knees feel like jello, and I taste bile at the back of my throat. I can't look at him, don't want to see the truth that is no doubt written all over his face.

Jay brushes a strand of hair out of my eyes, cupping my chin, tilting my face back up to his. Blue-green eyes trap me, ensnare me.

"No," His breath fans against my eyelids. "This time I'm not letting you go."

The moment stretches, and I find myself searching his gaze for something… anything. My wolf whines, and paces in my mind, I know what she wants. For this to be real. For it all to be real.

"Yeah. You've said that before too." I reply, tugging my chin out of his grip and walking out of the house.

Away away away.

Artemis Hunt. Always running away.

The tires chirp as I speed off, my limbs shifting gears easily, automatically. Dimly, I register Saint's vehicle chasing after me. Betrayal coats the inside of my mouth, but I swallow it down. It goes well with the flavors of caffeine and heart attack fuel. Too bad my wolfy heart is immune to such things, or maybe the shit would have killed me by now.

If only that invulnerability covered other things. Too bad my heart has always had a Jay-sized hole in its defenses.

My dashboard shows me the image of an incoming call, Jay's number scrolling by.

So if I answer this am I truly a masochist?

I'm a wolf, what do I know?

Saint's orange Jeep catches up to me, keeping a respectful distance from my tail. In the rearview mirror, I see it's more than just Saint in the vehicle. All of them are packed inside.

I'm grateful, at least that they can't see my face as I push the button to accept the call, shifting gears easily, making the turns to the less traveled back road. It's not my usual route, but it has nice curves to whip through.

"Hello?" I’m grateful, at least that my voice sounds more casual than I feel.

"Artemis, where are you going?" Jay demands, his phone held to his ear, the other hand gripping the handle above his window. His voice fills my car, and I resist the urge to close my eyes.

"To work, Jay. Relax." I sass, breezing through a curve, my feet working in tandem to brake, shift, and press the gas without losing momentum. It's not quite a drift, but I know there will be curves later on the road.

"This isn't the way you usually go to the bar." The SUV disappears from view momentarily, not built for cornering at speed like the Stingray. Or you know… speed in general.

"How do you know that?" A peek in my rearview shows me that he's put the phone on speaker, and I hear the boys in the background laughing at him.

"Because I do. What's happening, Artemis?"

"What's happening , Jay Temple, is I'm driving to work, in my very fast, very fun car and you're being a wet blanket." I sass, throwing my car around another curve, the rear end sliding easily. The next twist in the road comes in a blink, so I have to brake and shift, oversteering to be able to accomplish the tight s- curve .

They all suck in a breath–audible even through the speakerphone. It’s like they are all holding their breath as if I intend to smash the vehicle.

Laughter bursts free from my chest as the straightaway opens up before me, and I floor it. Pedal to the metal, I open up the throttle, easily reaching a cool 100 MPH in 3.5 seconds. For the first time in my life, I thank the pack's ruthless attention to detail, noting that there hasn't been a single pothole. Even one would truly fuck up my day.

"That's so fucking hot, dude." I hear Saint congratulate Jay, a quick chorus of thumps to his shoulders I see in the rearview. Again, the taste of betrayal coats my tongue. I wash down the taste with a quick sip of my drink, having a brief moment to do so on the straightaway.

"Why are you being so reckless?" Jay practically growls into the phone, my eyes rolling on instinct.

"I'm just having fun, Jay," I answer quietly, downshifting to slow down for the reentry to town limits, and reentry to the flow of traffic. It's like he holds the very strings attached to my heart, tugging them every which way. I can only wonder when he's going to rip them out again.

There is nothing else to say, so I end the call with a quick button mash of my thumb.

Saint follows me all the way to Coyote Bills, but none of the boys stop me from entering the building or starting my shift.

I can’t tell if I’m happy about it, or not.