Page 33 of ‘Til I Say When

“We were until he approached me after Eric’s funeral asking me about Deshay.

Talking about she’s off limits, and why do I have to fuck all the females.

Simp shit. He hasn’t really talked to me since then.

He came in the section and didn’t even speak to me, and I let it go.

But I went to the bathroom and came back, and he was all in Wonder’s face on some spiteful shit. ”

“Wow,” Pierre kissed his teeth. “Yeah, he lame for that. I don’t know too many niggas that haven’t hit Deshay.

He tripping over that? About two years ago, she gave my homie like two different STD’s and he took them home to his girl who was pregnant at the time.

He got his sister to beat the brakes off her.

I’ve never been interested in hitting that. ”

“He’s been pouting about that community pussy for months. Whatever she did to him, he must have never gotten anything like that done before, but Jermaine knows me, G. He knows how I get down. He had to know how this situation was going to go.”

Pierre pulled up at In and Out, and we all forgot about the situation with Jermaine long enough to order food.

I had the munchies so bad, my food was gone by the time Pierre pulled up at Wonder’s house.

Nina wasn’t budging, so Pierre was still staying at my crib.

I knew he could afford to get a place, but he was holding out hope that Nina would let him come back home. I didn’t see it happening.

I gave him dap, got out, and opened the door for Wonder. “You mad at me?” I pressed my body into hers while she unlocked the door.

“Mad at you for what? If he was in the section, I assume that he knows you. To wait for you to go to the bathroom and start trying to hit on me was lame.”

After Wonder closed and locked the door, I gripped her face in my hands. “And it’s gon’ be the same for anybody else that violates. I’m not playing with you or ‘bout you. Got that?”

She nodded, and I tongued her down until my lips were sore. I wrote my name on that pussy and told her more than once that it was mine forever and always.

A month later, I had finished up a six hour moving job and was on my way to Wonder’s garage because she asked me to stop by.

I was tired as hell, but the couple that Pierre and I moved from a four bedroom house to a five bedroom one tipped us lovely.

Business had been steady. We weren’t rich, but we were getting jobs a good four or five days out of the week, so I couldn’t complain.

Pierre was still hustling on the side, but I was trying my best to keep it legit.

I wasn’t hurting for money at the moment, and hopefully, before what I had got too low, business would be booming.

When I walked into the garage, Wonder was watching while a guy inspected the Denali that she had wrapped for him. Wonder’s talent never ceased to amaze me. My baby was cold with it. I waited patiently until he was done looking over the car. He told Wonder that he loved it, paid her, and left.

I walked over and pecked her on the lips. I was sweaty and ready to take a shower, but if she wanted to see me that’s what it was.

“I have a surprise for you,” she was grinning from ear to ear.

“Word? What’s up?”

Wonder walked over to the table behind her and picked up a book.

It wasn’t until I was holding it in my hand that I realized what it was.

It was a copy of my book. I stared at the cover and my name for what felt like a full sixty seconds before I looked over at her.

“When did you do this?” I remembered her asking me if I liked the cover she had made, and I told her I did, but I didn’t know she was going to go full throttle and publish the book.

“I’ve been working on this ever since you sent me the first ten chapters.

I posted an excerpt in some of the reading groups that I’m in, and people loved it.

One post got like two hundred likes and about sixty comments.

I set you up a KDP account and everything.

Just give me the word, and the book can go live. I’ll help you sell it.”

I still couldn’t believe it. Seeing my book in physical form and holding it in my hands was crazy to me. What was even crazier was that Wonder had taken the time to do everything for me. People wanted to read it? I was bugging out.

“Damn, thank you. That’s really all I know to say.” I tore my gaze away from the book and looked at her. “I was just trying to pass the time in county, and you turned this into a whole thing. I appreciate you for real.”

Wonder’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “It was my pleasure. Who would have known that you weren’t just a regular asshole and that you’re a talented asshole.”

Her comment made me chuckle. “I can’t even disagree with you. I can be an asshole. Hell, I am an asshole. But you love me, though.”

“That I do.” Wonder wrapped her arms around my waist and peered up at me.

We stood there like two goofies just staring at one another. Never in my life had I done anything that cheesy and lame, but I liked it, though. “We have to celebrate. Let’s go out to eat or something.”

“My treat.”

“Nah.”

Wonder kissed her teeth. “How are we celebrating you, and you’re paying for it? Stop acting like I’m broke. I’m not those other females you’re used to dealing with. I’m a whole boss out here.”

With a laugh, I popped her on the behind.

“That you are. Aight, you can take me out to eat, and I want to go to a five-star joint. I’m ordering lobster, steak, all that.

And don’t think just because you’re about to spend a few hundred dollars on a meal that I’m giving you this D because I know my worth, and it’s going to take more than that to get me out of these boxer briefs. ”

A cocky grin eased across Wonder’s face. “Oh you gon’ eat Big Mama from the roota to the toota if I spend on you like that. I don’t know what you thought this was, but don’t give dick to half the city then try to have standards with me, G.”

I put my fist over my mouth and laughed loudly. “Yo, you are sick.” I pecked her on the lips. “Aight, be ready to go at eight. I have one more stop to make then I’m going home to get ready.”

“Okay.”

I felt lame as hell. For the first minute of the car ride, I had a smile on my face.

I kept glancing over at my book that was on the passenger seat.

I had accomplished something worth being proud of.

When I arrived at my grandmother’s house, I decided to leave the book in the car.

Telling them I wrote a book wasn’t something I was ready to do.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think they’d be proud of me, but I just wasn’t comfortable.

I’d never heard the words ‘I’m proud of you’ from anyone in my family.

But in their defense, I’d never done too much for them to be proud of. When the time was right, they’d know.

Wonder had me all discombobulated because I didn’t notice my father’s car parked out front until I got out of the car.

It had been a few years since I saw him.

It was odd to me that he was suddenly coming around so much, but maybe there was some holiness in him.

If he still had enough love for my mother to be there for her while she was going through, I couldn’t even be mad at him for that.

When I walked in the living room, my grandmother was sitting in her favorite recliner. My mother was lying on the couch with a blanket over her, and my father was sitting on the love seat across from the couch.

“What’s going on?” I greeted everyone collectively.

Out of my entire life, this was the longest that I’d seen my mother sober.

She was on medication and though she was still tired a lot of the time, her eyes were no longer yellow, and she had put on some weight.

It was sad that sickness was the only thing that made her back away from the bottle, but hopefully, she’d get to enjoy some of her life with a clear and sober mind and make the best of whatever time she had left.

She was excited about Misha having a baby and actually told me she didn’t think she’d ever have grandkids.

“Hey,” my grandmother was the first to speak. “You came by on the right day. I made vanilla pound cake.”

My grandmother’s vanilla pound cake with glazed icing was my favorite dessert. I could eat it every day. She never made just one because I could eat half the cake in one sitting.

“That’s what’s up. Me and Wonder are going out to eat in a bit. I just stopped by to see how y’all were doing and if you needed anything.”

“Hey, son,” my father spoke up.

I nodded my head at him, and my mother sat up. “If it was possible for you to bring me some energy, I’d love that. Other than that, I’m okay. You look good. Like, you look happy.”

I chuckled. I wasn’t sure what looked so happy about me since I wasn’t smiling, but I’d take the compliment. “I guess I am happy. I’m free.”

My father stood up. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Outside?”

I didn’t stop by my grandmother’s house for all that, but I was going to hear him out.

We stepped outside, and I sat down in one of the chairs my grandmother had on her porch.

My father sat down in the other. “I know we’ve had a strained relationship for a while now.

I’m not perfect. I’ve never been perfect, and I never will be.

I’m also old school where kids going against their parents is considered disrespect.

I didn’t like you calling me out on my mess.

I couldn’t take accountability, and I wanted you to do as I said and not as I did.

I was wrong. I wasn’t wrong in wanting the best for you, but I was wrong with my delivery. ”

It was crazy that I had to turn thirty for my parents to attempt to right their wrongs, but I guess better late than never.

“It’s cool. I’m not really one to hold on to grudges.

My life has to keep moving regardless, so holding onto the past is pretty much irrelevant.

Unless someone did something real foul to me. ”

“You have so much of your mother in you,” my father chortled.

“But there’s definitely some of me in there, too.

I think I really used to hate that side of you because it was like looking in a mirror.

You weren’t afraid to challenge me and call me out on my mess.

Really, you were the only person that ever did it to my face.

And I thank you for that. It took me a while to fully acknowledge it, but because of you, I knew I could fool most people, but I couldn’t fool God.

I really had to buckle down on changing.

So much so, that I stepped down from preaching for a bit.

I said I wasn’t going to step back into the pulpit until I got it together. ”

I looked over at him. I couldn’t judge him for how long it took him to get it together. It took me a minute myself. “Straight like that, huh?”

“Pretty much. I cut off women and any other bad habits. I have a job at the Rec Center, and when I’m not working, I’m somewhere trying to become a better man. I’m sure you don’t need to know everything, but I’ve been celibate for two years. I’m trying.”

“Two years? Damn.”

“Tell me about it,” he chuckled. I never thought the day would come when my father was talking to me about not getting any. I never wanted to see the time I had to go two years without sex. That was one of the main reasons I wasn’t trying to go back to jail.

“Ain’t no way,” I shook my head.

The short talk with my pops wasn’t bad at all.

I had to get going, so I ended the convo and chatted with my grandmother and mother for a few minutes.

I didn’t want to be late for dinner with Wonder, but I did give my father my phone number before I left.

I couldn’t believe how a nigga’s life was coming full circle.