Page 23 of Three

“Are you done?” I grunt, annoyed.

“Jealous?” Lori asks in an even more annoying girl’s voice.

“Fuck off, Gremlin.”

“Hey! Don’t worry, I’m not into…”

“Devastatingly handsome men? Who can melt you with a single look? Who make your blood boil?” I felt irked when I imagined Hunter interested in Lori, and now I find myself personally affronted that Lori doesn’t find him attractive enough. That’s fucking crazy. Even for me.

I even dreamed about him last night. His pupils were blown, his dark hand was on my white skin, his hard, hot body pressed against mine. I could feel it, taste it, smell it. My dick throbbed, and I rubbed it against his thick, enormous cock. It speared my hole and fucked it with abandon. He snarled, making my balls pulse with lust. “Come,”he ordered. And fuck, I did. Woke up covered in my jizz.

I notice that they are all looking at me with googly eyes. It makes me feel exposed in some way.What’s with them?

“You’re beautiful” by James Blunt is playing now. I’ve never heard this song from a stalker point of view, but the obsession is there. And it makes me actually realize that I might feel more than intrigued by Hunter. It’s only because I want to test that gigantictoolbefore my blue balls fall off, though.

If the mountain won’t go to Muhammad… “It’s time to use the big guns.” I sigh.

“Let’s send him a fake, I-want-to-hire-you email,” Lori suggests.

“That’s not what I had in mind.”

Michael ignores me. “Yes! Let’s go with the classic: ‘I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.’”

“He probably gets a large amount of those, there’s a risk he’ll trash it,” Sari shoots the idea down.

“We’ll lure him in with a nice hunk of change, and if that isn’t enough, a picture of my tight arse.” Lori’s ridiculous offer makes me walk to my messenger bag and grab my phone.

“No.” I growl.

“Oh, I see, you don’t want him to fall in love with my assets. Clever.”

“Shut up!” Would some duct tape on Lori’s mouth do the trick? No, he’d probably gnaw his way through it.

“I could go see him incognito with a cool disguise, which means a trip to the thrift store and a fake ID, maybe a wig?—”

Michael cuts him off, “Lori, we need a plausible story first, then anExtreme Makeover.”

“It’s good to always think ahead in case something goes pear-shaped. But okay. I got it. We can tell him that the mascot of the…Chicago football team has gone missing, and since the players are very superstitious, he needs to find the bloody dolphin—bear ASAP.”

“That’s the storyline forAce Ventura.” Michael shakes his head with a hint of exasperation.

“What’s that?” Sari asks. He doesn’t get out much unless it is related to his work. I don’t know how Lori convinced him to come to his yoga classes. But I’m glad to see Sari relax.

“Stop this nonsense and just…let the grown-up with the best tight ass work.” I give them a stern look. “Serena, how’s the Hunter Bear case going?” I tap on my bracelet—a new gadget I’ve started to use to communicate more easily with Serena—which has a small speaker connected to my AI assistant so everybody in the room can hear her.

“Cool!” Lori tries to imitate the deep voice on movie trailers as he sits on the sofa. “The Hunter Bear snooping is on.”

“Just a moment, Daddy,” Serena promptly answers, making Lori whistle.

“Oh, Daddy Rami. So sweet.” Michael wipes a fake tear from the corner of his eye.

I curl my lips over my teeth at him. I need to get back at him somehow…without getting killed by Raph in the process.

“Although fucking with Reacher is always entertaining, I want to keep going with the stalking part. So we need more hors d’oeuvres, Bones.” Then Lori quickly adds, “Something out of a package please.”

Michael looks at him with narrowed eyes, but Gremlin throws him an innocent smile and keeps going, “Siri, play song seven on the revisited stalker playlist.”

“‘Hungry Like a Wolf’ by Duran Duran playing now,” Siri’s voice resounds in the room before the early eighties electronic pop tune starts.