Page 18

Chapter eighteen

Ryder

Sunlight stabs through my eyelids, making my head pound. I peel them open, taking in my surroundings through the fog of a brutal hangover.

Chase is sprawled across the pullout couch. One arm dangling off the edge, snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Next to him, August lay face-down, still wearing his shoes. Empty bottles and takeout containers litter every surface.

My neck cracks as I shift in the recliner where I'd crashed. Through the open doorway, I spot Keith and Ethan passed out in the guest room, both fully clothed on top of the covers.

"I’m getting too old for this shit," I say, dragging myself up and out of the chair. The room spins for a few moments before slowly settling.

I stumble to the shower, letting hot water blast away the worst of the hangover. As the steam clears my head, memories of last night filter back—shots at three different bars. Chase's horrible karaoke performance. And who can forget August challenging random guys to arm wrestling matches.

After a quick shower, I’m clean and somewhat feeling human again. I pull on fresh clothes and head back out to survey the disaster zone. Time to be the responsible one.

"Rise and shine, ladies!" I kick the pullout couch, making Chase groan and August burrow deeper into the cushions. "The wedding is in five hours. Move your asses."

Keith emerges from the guest room, look ing remarkably put together despite everything. Ethan follows, squinting against the light like a cave dweller seeing the sun for the first time.

"Since when are you the morning person?" Chase grumbles, but doesn’t move.

I grab a pillow and whack him with it. "Since I became the designated adult supervisor for you idiots. The coffee is brewing. Anyone who isn't vertical in five minutes gets ice water to the face."

I pour coffee into five mugs. The rich, black liquid helping to clear some of the cobwebs from my head.

"Has anyone seen my phone?" August pats his pockets, looking disoriented.

"Coffee first, technology later," I hand him a mug. "We need to get our shit together."

Chase finally drags himself to the kitchen, looking green. "I'm never drinking again."

"You say that every time," Ethan smirks, already halfway through his coffee.

"This time I mean it." Chase grabs a mug. "Why did we let August talk us into that last bar?"

"Because we're idiots who still think we can party like we're twenty-one?" I down the rest of my coffee. "Alright, game plan—everyone shower and suit up. We need to be at the church by noon."

My phone buzzes. A text from Victoria lights up the screen.

Soon-to-be-wife: Hope you boys had a fun night. Miss you.

Miss you too.

I do miss her. She is beautiful, calm, and she really does make me happy. I just get stuck on what could have been sometimes.

"Earth to Ryder," Ethan waves his hand in front of my face. "Tell us where you stash the Advil."

I tuck my phone away, pushing my confusing thoughts aside for now. Time to focus on getting these hungover id iots presentable for today.

I adjust my tie in the mirror, trying to ignore the tremor in my hands. The hangover isn't helping my nerves.

"Please tell me you've got your vows ready," Chase says, shrugging into his suit jacket.

My hands still. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" Chase's reflection stares at me. "The wedding's in four hours."

I turn to face him. "I mean I don't have them done."

"Jesus Christ, Ryder." Chase runs a hand through his hair. "You had one job. One."

"I tried, alright?" I loosen the tie that suddenly feels too tight around my throat. "Every time I sit down to write them, nothing feels right."

"That's because you're overthinking it." Chase grabs his phone. "We've got time. Let's hammer something out."

"No pre-written speeches." I pace the room. "Victoria deserves better than that."

"Better than you standing there like an idiot with nothing to say?" Chase raises an eyebrow. "Come on, what do you love about her?"

I stop pacing. "She's kind. Patient. Makes me happy."

"Good, write that down."

"It's not that simple." I slump into a chair. "Every time I try to put it into words, I keep thinking—"

"About Ava?" Chase's voice is quiet.

I shoot him a warning look. "Don't."

"Someone has to say it." Chase leans against the wall. "If you're having doubts—"

"I'm not. Victoria is exactly what I need. She's stable, supportive. We make sense together."

"Making sense isn't the same as being in love. And don’t you think she deserves that too?"

"I love her," I insist, but the words are hollow even to me.

"Then why can't you write your vows?"

I have no answer.

The door cracks open and August steps in, his expression softens when he catches my reflection in the mirror.

"You look like you're about to face a firing squad instead of walking down the aisle," he begins straightening his own tie.

I force a weak smile. "Just pre-wedding jitters."

"Sure." August exchanges knowing looks with Chase. "Listen, I know I already gave you my blessing to marry Victoria, but I want you to hear it again. She's good for you, steady. The kind of woman who can give you the life you've always wanted."

"But?" I prompt, hearing the hesitation in his voice.

"But you have to let go of Ava." August's words hit like a punch to the gut. "Those daily visits to the care facility, they're not helping anyone."

"I'm not stopping the visits." My jaw clenches. "She needs someone there, August. She's your sister."

"And that's exactly why I'm telling you this." August steps closer. "The doctors say there's been no change. It's been three years, Ryder. You can't put your life on hold waiting for something that might never happen."

Chase clears his throat. "He's right, man. Victoria's been incredibly understanding about the whole situation, but asking her to compete with a ghost—"

"I'm not asking her to compete with anyone," I snap. "And Ava is not a fucking ghost. She's still in there."

"Maybe she is," August says gently. "But you sitting by her bed reading books and talking to her isn't bringing her back. You're about to make vows to another woman. You need to decide if you can truly commit to Victoria while holding onto this—whatever this is with my sister."

I turn away from both of them, staring out the window. They don't understand what it feels like to watch someone you love lying there. I can feel her, touch her—but she isn’t here . She’s trapped somewhere, inside her own mind. The thought of abandoning Ava kills me. What if she wakes up one day, fights her way back to us just to find out I gave up on her.

"I hear what you're saying," I finally say. "But I'm not stopping the visits. That's non-negotiable."

I grip the window frame, trying to steady my racing thoughts. Behind me, Chase and August wait in tense silence.

"Look, I appreciate the concern from both of you." I turn back to face them. "But this is my decision. Victoria knows about the visits, and accepts them. She understands Ava was—is, important to me."

"And when you're saying your vows today?" Chase presses. "Who will you be talking about?"

"My bride," I say firmly, though I feel like throwing up. "I chose Victoria. She's who I want to build a life with."

August sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Just... be sure, Ryder. Really sure. Because if you go through with this having any doubts—"

"I don't have doubts," I cut him off. "I still have complicated feelings about your sister, yes. But that doesn't change how I feel about Victoria."

The door bursts open as Ethan comes in, already three sheets to the wind despite the early hour. "There's my favorite groom! Time to get this show on the road!"

"Christ, Ethan, it's not even noon," Chase mutters.

"It's my best friend's wedding day!" Ethan throws an arm around my shoulders. "We should be celebrating, not standing around looking like someone died."

The words hit harder than he intended. I shrug off his arm, straightening my jacket. "He's right. This is supposed to be a happy day. I'm marrying an amazing woman who loves me."

"And who you love," August adds pointedly.

"And who I love," I echo, ignoring the way the words stuck in my throat. "Now can we please focus on getting to the church on time?"