Page 99 of Thorns of Silence

But she didn’t come. Of course she didn’t. She had husband number five to impress.

It was yet another stab to the heart, even though I should’ve known better. Reina was the only one who never disappointed me. I missed her like crazy. This was the longest we’d been apart ever.

Wearing my knee-high stockings and a sweater that came down past my thighs, I sat on the white-tiled floor in front of the window that stretched from floor to ceiling, then read her last message on my phone.

It’s not Christmas without you. I don’t care about contagious illnesses. We could have at least seen each other through the glass.

It was a lie to keep Reina from coming. It took a whole lot of convincing and reassurance that I was almost better, but as an added precaution, Grandma cut her access to money and took her passport.

There were times when I imagined telling her, knowing the two of us could disappear to raise my baby alone. Fashion was all she’d ever wanted to do though, and I couldn’t destroy her dream. So, I kept quiet and prayed forhimto come.

I reached for my necklace where the pager and promise ring hung. My fingers wrapped around the little black device and found the tip.

Click. Click. Click.

He said it’d alert him of my location wherever I was. It hadn’t worked so far, but the repetitive motion soothed me like a stress ball.

Each time I pressed the button though, my heart cracked a bit more. I knew by now that it was broken, but I still hoped.

My bones rattled but it had nothing to do with the cold. Every day was a new heartbeat. A new disappointment.

Click. Click. Click.

“Just this once,” I whispered to the empty room. “Just this once, save us.”

I tried to picture how that would look. He’d burst through the door, worry etched on his beautiful face. His arms would wrap around me and he’d call me his Nix. Or his dandelion. He would hold me tightly, then swoop me up and take me away. Somewhere nobody could take the baby from me. From us.

We would dance through life together. Just as he promised.

It was becoming a delusion at this point.

My eyes traveled over the wrapped gifts under the tree that I hadn’t bothered to open. There was nothing I wanted in them.

The only things I wanted were this life growing inside me and the man who wasn’t coming.

I could feel the hope in my chest dimming by the day, slowly reducing me to ash.

My phone buzzed in my hand, taking me out of the past and shoving me into the present. I looked down, seeing the email from the clinic director agreeing to see me tomorrow.

A step closer to my daughter.

THIRTY-NINE

PHOENIX

Ihad never dreamt I’d end up in New Orleans when I started this search for my baby. After I went back to where it all started, I demanded to speak with the director about my daughter’s birth. As it happened, the poor woman just started working there that week. It ended up working to my advantage though.

Once she pulled out my file, the admission of negligence was written all over her face. The clinic had wronged me. I threatened to bring a lawsuit, and she gave me information on the foster home that took my baby after the death of her first adoptive family.

From there, I followed the trail all the way here.

My daughter had been adopted by Branka and Sasha Nikolaev. I prayed wholeheartedly that they had no connection to the Russian Nikolaev family, but deep down, I knew it had to be them. I wasscrewed. You didn’t have to be an active member of the underworld to know you didn’t fuck with the Nikolaevs.

All the creative curses I’d learned echoed in my mind.

New Orleans’s January temperatures were comfortable. The bright sunshine combined with it being a Sunday afternoon drew people out for leisurely strolls. The scent of baked goods drifted through the air as I watched people smile and laugh, chatting to each other animatedly.

I’d already circled the block where the notorious The Den of Sin was—the club owned by the Nikolaev family—in hopes of catching a glimpse of them. Maybe I’d run into them by accident and start a conversation. Or maybe I could just flat-out approach them and tell them that Skye was my daughter and I wanted her back.