Page 1 of Thorns of Silence

PROLOGUE

PHOENIX, 18 YEARS OLD

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Love is blind and deaf.

I never understood Mamma’s words until I experienced my first heartbreak. It wasn’t innocent. It wasn’t gentle.

It tore me into tiny little pieces and changed every part of me, making it impossible to fit all the fractured bits of me back together. It was brutal in the way it erased my happiness and left me with only bitterness.

I lay in the hospital bed of a private clinic somewhere in upstate New York, the view of the snow-capped mountains in the distance breathtaking, but all I could focus on was this pain.

Staring at the tightly wrapped form, I extended my arms and reached for my baby, despite exhaustion weighing heavy in my bones. I pushed the visions of Reina and me as little girls, cooing softly as we wrapped her dolls tight like burritos, away from my mind. I couldn’t think about my sister right now. Steady breaths, Phoenix.

“Can… I… hold…” My lips moved around the words, but of course no sound came out. I attempted to sign, but my fingers were numb. I didn’t know whether they were a him or a her, but I wanted to see my baby. I needed to memorize their features so I could play them back for the rest of my life. I folded my hands, unable to sign another word. “Please.”

I was freezing, my hands shivering, rattling my bones. I was too cold and numbness was quickly expanding through me. The ache in my chest that had been a constant for the past nine months suddenly threatened to swallow me whole.

My mind blurred, and I was vaguely aware of someone moving, but my focus was pinned on that little bundled body. I refused to look away.

“Please.” A soundless word. A desperate sob. A tremble of my lip.

I struggled to keep my hands outstretched, the weight of them overwhelming me with every second that passed. My body didn’t feel like my own, and I knew it was from the weird haze of the drugs muting my senses.

Suddenly, I was surrounded, nurses and doctors blocking my view and pushing my bed out of the way. My hands fell to my sides, but I fought to bring them to the chain around my neck, to grasp the black rectangle hanging right next to the promise ring. I just needed to feel the coolness of it under my fingertips… There.

I fumbled with the device, then with dimmed hope, I pressed the button. Over and over and over again. Click. Click. Click.

Someone hovered above me, but it wasn’t the person I needed to see. Grandma’s eyes searched my face, weary and swimming with fear.

Click… Click… The lump in my throat grew along with my tremors. Click.

It was the last time I’d press that button.

He never came. Unconsciousness pulled me under with the knowledge that he broke his promise again.

It was the last time he’d fail me. I’d never give him the chance to do it again.

Two Years Later

ONE

DANTE

23 YEARS OLD

Tap… tap… tap… tap… tap.

I watched Dr. Freud’s pen gently hit the folder, her eyes narrowed on me, almost as if she could sense the tension simmering beneath my skin.

Her gaze met mine, determination flaring in them. She was testing my control despite the fact that my potential to cause harm set her on edge. As a slow smile tugged on my lips, she glanced back at the file in her lap. Not that there was much there.

She finally broke the silence. “Let’s talk about what happened two years ago.”

I sat back, resting an elbow on the armrest. This room was meant to inspire calm and comfort, to serve as a safe haven to spill your secrets. Unfortunately, I had enough to color the room pitch black. And that wasn’t even counting the ones I had no memory of.