Page 40 of Third Time Lucky

LUCY

My heart is racing like wild horses, my fingers trembling as I clutch my taser in one hand and the delicate vial of ashes in the other within my front hoodie pocket.

It’s warm out, yet I’m freezing, thanks to anxiety.

I’m seeing every shadow and hearing all the sounds the bustling city usually masks.

Coming down here alone in the middle of the night wasn’t a brilliant idea, but I wasn’t exactly thinking when I suggested it – it was a follow-my-heart moment, and all I knew was I needed to do this with him.

But my frightening wait is nearly over as I see Ash drive by, toward the parking garage around the corner, so I know I’ll be less alone in mere minutes.

After Kris died, his mom gave both Asher and me a small vial-type urn with part of Kris inside.

For twelve years, I’ve kept it in my nightstand drawer, tucked away in the back, out of sight.

Even when I’ve moved house, he’s always near me – like a comfort blanket.

I knew he’d always love me because he never got a chance not to.

At his funeral, she asked both Ash and me that when the timing felt right, we spread his ashes in the river downtown so he could be a part of the city he so loved.

Never in a million years did I expect to be doing this part with Asher.

I glimpse him rounding the corner as he jogs toward me, glancing both ways in the dimly lit street before crossing. Worry, and a hint of relief fill his face as he slows.

‘You are insane,’ he says, slowing to a stop once on the sidewalk. ‘Out here all alone, in the middle of the night? People get murdered down here. You could’ve waited in your car, and I’d have found you.’

All I can do is smile as he worries about me while seeing that I’m perfectly fine and he’s here now.

My anxiety doesn’t settle, but somehow, my heart slows with his presence.

Unexpectedly, he envelops my small frame in a protective embrace, his tall form providing a shield from the dancing shadows. I sink into him, so glad he’s here.

‘Are you OK? Got the fire out?’

I step away, nodding. ‘Yeah, the lawn guy took care of it. I’m sure Mitzi slipped him a tip to keep it quiet, considering her name.’

‘Did it cleanse you of boys gone wrong?’

With a laugh, I nod. I sound insane. I don’t not see it. But he’s not running away from it either.

‘It was like being in a burning cathedral with the flames licking at stained-glass windows and somehow illuminating the dark corners of my heart, freeing me of that asshole.’

‘That was almost beautiful,’ he says, smiling wide. ‘You smoked him out. Congrats.’

‘Thank you. Now he’s nothing more than a pile of ashes in Mitzi’s backyard.’

He nods approvingly. ‘Good riddance.’

‘Exactly.’

‘How’s it feel?’

Our gaze meets a streetlight illuminating the area around us as I inhale sharply, blowing it out slowly.

‘It feels like I got back a very large part of my heart.’ I rest a hand on my chest. ‘But there’s one more thing I need to do, and I think you are the absolute perfect person to be a part of this.’

‘Am I?’

‘In so many ways, yes. Your text tonight was like a sign from the universe that the metaphorical curse had been lifted – though Madi is absolutely certain it was real. And when it was over, I knew I had to do this next.’

He nods, his face grave as he pulls his vial from his jacket pocket.

‘I suspected that’s what you wanted to do. Are you sure you’re ready?’

An anxious bubble of laughter (not the ha-ha kind) leaves my lips unexpectedly.

‘Are you? I sort of just threw this at you without asking. Don’t do it if you’re only doing it because I am. I need to. It’s time. But if it’s not time for you that’s OK?—’

He reaches up and touches my waving hand.

‘I’m ready,’ he says, lacing his fingers through mine and holding on tightly, stopping my rambling instantaneously. His gaze is on Kris in his other hand. ‘Truth be told, I’ve been ready for a long time, but the timing of actually letting him go never felt completely right. Until recently.’

I pull my vial from my hoodie, holding it alongside Asher’s. Inside, it’s not just Kris – it’s a piece of our shared history, our grief, and our love for a friend who left us too soon.

‘You have a way of reading my mind. It’s sort of scary,’ he says, easing the tension as he walks me toward the river railing. Each step feels heavier than the last, as if I’m carrying a vial of ashes and my first try at love. I always feel like I failed, but I didn’t – he was just taken too young.

As we reach the railing, I realize this is where everything ends. This is it. The final farewell to Kris. Where I let go of the pain that’s held me captive for so long and be the person he’d want me to be. Happy.

‘Ready?’ Ash asks, releasing my hand.

I exhale heavily, raising a shaky hand. ‘Ready.’

He unscrews the lid of his vial, gazing at the ashes inside for a long moment.

I do the same; a lump forms in my throat as memories of Kris flood my mind.

I don’t know if what we had was truly love – I was a teenager – but for the two years we dated, I really loved Kris wholeheartedly.

As much as a teenager could love. And I know he and Ash were inseparable from a young age, so I’ve no doubt he’s feeling the same breathless feeling I am right now.

Together, we turn our vials over, watching as the ashes scatter in the gentle breeze, mingling with the water below. It’s a bittersweet moment.

‘I hope you’re at peace,’ I say softly – my voice shaking with each word.

‘I’ll never hurt her,’ Ash says simultaneously as if he’s continuing a conversation with him.

I study his face, seeing a mix of emotions flicker across his features before he locks eyes with me.

‘I won’t,’ he says to me. ‘Ever – no matter what I am to you – that’s a promise.’

Tears glisten in my eyes, and he pulls me into him, holding me tightly. At this moment, I know we will always have a bond – forged in grief, strengthened by shared memories and sealed with a promise to move forward. Together.