Page 22 of Third Time Lucky

LUCY

I close my bedroom door, emotions fluttering inside me like a swarm of fireflies. Do I truly feel something for Asher Wright? Is that allowed given our situation? Is there a book I can buy to help?

After I’ve undressed and crawled into bed, my phone dings on the nightstand. I grab it seeing Madi’s familiar face light up the screen as she calls me on FaceTime, her delicate features framed by a soft glow. I half-expected her to be wrapped up in bliss and covered in frosting right now.

‘Hello…’

‘What’s the news?’ she asks eagerly, clearly fishing for some juicy gossip.

‘No news, he drove me home. It was fun,’ I reply, my words feeling like a betrayal to the tangled feelings inside. ‘And we got to meet Audrina Leighton!’

‘I know, she’s amazing. We had fun too. I just wanted to call and check in… you know, make sure everything went alright after you left?’

‘Why wouldn’t things go right?’

‘Luce,’ Madi’s tone shifts to serious as she says my name, ‘he knows.’

‘Who knows what?’

‘Asher. He knows what you said. About you thinking he’s hot.’

I gasp. He knows ? No, no, no. A sinking feeling grips my chest as I sit up.

‘You told him?!’

‘ I didn’t,’ she says defensively. ‘But Aaron did.’

‘Ugh!’ I groan, lying back on my bed and staring at the ceiling. ‘That freaking ding-dong! Why would he do that?’

‘Because they’re brothers and friends, and it’s exactly what we’d have done.’

I groan, tormented by the fact that she’s right, yet torn apart by the conflicting feelings of betrayal and understanding swirling inside me.

‘You don’t have to throw technicalities in my face.’ I stand, my feet automatically pacing the room as I wrestle with how to handle this emotional storm. ‘Well, this is just great. What am I supposed to do now? Wait—’ I stop pacing. ‘What— uh— what’d he say?’

Should I even be considering what she says if it didn’t come straight from his lips? Is second-hand – or even third-hand – information only questionable in courtrooms, or does it apply to matters of the heart as well?

‘He’s interested,’ she says.

‘He’s interested – romantically?’ I ask, bewildered.

I mean not completely bewildered. I suspected with the low-key flirting tonight. But he knows and he never said anything when he had every chance?

Suddenly a new voice enters the chat.

‘Yeah. Despite you acting completely unhinged, Ash likes you, with more than just his penis,’ Aaron confirms, lacing his words with a touch of sarcasm.

‘Don’t say it so crudely, she’s my best friend,’ Madi counters, nudging him with her shoulder. ‘Anyway, yeah, he likes you, with his heart,’ she insists. ‘He even called you gorgeous – but then again, who doesn’t? It’s really too bad your kitchen is closed.’

I gasp, then laugh, unsure if she’s complimenting or mocking me.

‘You two just made this weird.’

‘Honestly, Luce, we didn’t mean too.’

I’m so annoyed by this. And also intrigued? I don’t know.

‘Well, you should know we talked about you two as well. Ash thinks I should warn you that Aaron never follows through with relationships. He said he’s a chronic dater.’

Aaron snorts laughter in the background. ‘I guess that’s better than fuckboy, which is usually how he describes me.’

I try not to laugh.

‘He said for some reason Aaron always bolts when things start to get serious. And it reminded me of someone, but I can’t quite figure out who?’

Madi’s smirk tells me she’s fully aware of my silent accusation. She falls quiet, but the sound of her manicured nails drumming on something lingers in the air.

Are we passive aggressively fighting right now?

‘It’s sweet that Ash cooks for you while you admire him, saved you from a bad marriage, treats you like royalty, and on top of all that, he’s incredibly handsome – and you act like none of it impresses you.’

‘I’ve no idea where you got that, I’m beyond impressed. I just— I—’ My phone buzzes with a new message, and I see Asher’s name flashing on the screen. My heart leaps into my throat as I hesitate before opening the message.

‘Gotta go,’ I say, tapping the end call button before she can speak.

I open the chat and read.

Asher

You still up?

I grip my phone, tapping the response bubble and typing with my thumbs.

Lucy

Yep. You?

It’s after I hit send that I realize how stupid a question that is. Obviously, he’s awake, his phone isn’t texting me on its own.

Asher

Like a damn owl.

Lucy

How come?

Asher

Tornado of thoughts.

I gasp, slightly relieved that he’s an overthinker like myself. He seems so solid emotionally and grown-up. Is that a mask? I don’t know, but if so, maybe he’ll understand the nonsense my head comes up with.

Lucy

We have that in common then.

Asher

Yeah? Tell me about it. No judgment.

Lucy

Will you tell me about yours?

Asher

If u really wanna know, sure.

Lucy

I know you know what I said about you being… hot.

Hot. God, it’s so high school. After this I’ll never use the word hot for anything besides something coming out of the oven. The ‘…’ typing bubble torments me as I wonder what exactly he’s saying that’s taking so long.

Asher

I think Aaron and Madi also have gossiping in common. I do know. And I should have told you but had no clue how to say it and Aaron made me promise I wouldn’t. I’m sorry.

Lucy

Are you kidding? If you had told me, I’d have been an outline in Mitzi’s front door. Truth be told, I’m a little scared.

Asher

What are you scared of? Me? Being friends with me?

Lucy

Being friends with you. Being attracted to that friend. Dating that friend with our friends. Possibly falling into more than friends. All of it. I feel like he’s watching us…

Asher

How often do you think about him?

My chest fills with storm clouds, affecting my ability to breathe at the memory of him.

Lucy

Often. You?

Asher

Every day lately.

Lucy

Because of me?

Asher

Maybe? Truthfully, the survivor’s guilt is very much back – I feel like I ruined all our lives.

I pause, rereading his last message multiple times. Survivor’s guilt? He mentioned this the other night too, but I thought it was in the past. I knew he was there when the accident happened. Never once did I consider he felt guilty for living.

Lucy

I’m not ruined. I don’t think you are either. That accident was NOT your fault.

Asher

That’s what my therapist says too.

He’s going to therapy? That’s mature. I did, too, for a while.

Lucy

I’ve never blamed you. He wouldn’t either. That much I know.

Asher

Thx – I needed to hear that.

Lucy

Do you think he’s happy wherever he is?

Asher

Yeah. He’s probably laughing that we still have to deal with this world.

Lucy

LOL! And now it’s thrown us together in a way I never expected.

Asher

I suspected u were feeling this way. So, I just wanted to remind u that I’m always here to listen even when things seem complicated. Night, Lucy. See u tomorrow.

Tomorrow… the word dances in my mind, igniting a spark of excitement at seeing him again.

Lucy

Thank you. Until tomorrow, then. Goodnight, Ash.

My phone lies forgotten on the nightstand as I try to process the unexpected depth of our conversation.

Talking about Kris is like opening old wounds, ones that I’ve kept hidden for so long.

But with Ash, it’s different. He gets it.

And he listens in a way that no one else ever has and somehow that’s got my heart digging itself out of its shallow grave, bit by bit. He’s amazing and sort of unexpected.