Page 5 of They Love Me Knot (Starsfalls Omegaverse #2)
Ciro
I collapse on the couch after making it home, kicking off my shoes without untying them since I can’t be bothered to make the effort after just barely surviving this exhausting day.
It was worse than my worst day on the farm, when all the tractors and plows broke and we had hundreds of plants to get in the ground by the end of the day or their roots would freeze.
There wasn’t room for them in the greenhouses, so it was a long day of tilling and digging holes by hand.
But by the end, I had the joy of seeing all of them in the ground, and we didn’t lose any to the cold.
Today, though, there’s no satisfaction to be had.
My only relief was leaving those horrible conditions behind, though they linger in my mind, a dark haze polluting my thoughts.
I wasn’t as active as I would be on a normal day at the farm, but my body feels like I’ve been in a car accident, sore and achy.
It’s so bad that I don’t even have the strength to loosen the ridiculous red tie I’m wearing.
My packmates finally filter into the house behind me. I was the first one out of the car, dropping out the door before Alister had it in park.
They chatter away as if the events of the day mean nothing to them.
That’s not true. They chatter away like the events of the day were fine, or even, enjoyable .
I don’t know how they could stand it, watching them up there, saying those things.
They were all “I’ll love you forever” and “our pack is finally complete.” No mention of the fact that at any time they could be kicked out of their “forever pack.”
Even the fact that they already had bond marks doesn’t mean anything.
Their omega could still shun one of them, get the alpha kicked out of the pack, and he’d have to find a facility to remove her bite.
Unless he wanted to go through life suffering, being connected to his omega and not being able to be near her.
That’s how alphas are driven mad. Even removing the bite is no guarantee that an alpha wouldn’t lose their mind eventually.
I’m glad I didn’t have that issue at least.
I cut off that line of thought before the dark cloud can further pollute my thoughts and lead me down a dark road, instead, tuning into what my packmates are saying. If I focus on their positive (ugh) comments about the day, it should at least distract me from the thoughts of my past.
“The flowers on the arch were a nice touch. They matched Maisie’s dress perfectly for the pink theme, but they still made her stand out against the dark green leaves. Your cake was the same shade of pink, Sterling, did you work with Anicka to get the right shade?” Kieran says.
“No, Maisie showed me a picture of her dress, so I worked from that. I wasn’t sure if the icing would end up matching well, because at first it looked a little too salmon pink.
Once I added the blood orange juice, it lightened up perfectly.
I’m running low on the dried hibiscus flowers, so I was worried I wouldn’t have enough to create a new batch if that didn’t work,” Sterling says in his quiet voice.
“Sorry, Sterling, I can get you more hibiscus flowers soon. They’ve been late to bloom this year, but they’re budding now. Do you need any other flowers in the meantime?” I say, opening my eyes.
I feel bad that Sterling was worried because I didn’t keep his supply stocked up. He’s never one to complain, so I should have asked if he wanted anything else while we waited for the hibiscus to bloom. I always supply him with some this time of year, and I knew they were late.
“It’s not a problem. I still have a few left, and I don’t have any other big orders coming up. I don’t need anything else,” Sterling says.
See, never complains, never blames others.
Not a mean bone in his body. That’s why our pack needs to look out for him.
He’s physically strong enough to take care of himself, but I worry he’s too caring.
If a mugger demanded his wallet, I think he’d offer to get him more money from the ATM since the guy clearly needs help.
Well, he’s likely to do that not only because he’s nice but also because he tends to panic in social situations.
There’s not much crime in Starsfalls, so I don’t have to worry about some criminal taking advantage of Sterling. Or at least, I don’t worry about it much.
I sigh and tell him I’ll get him the flowers as soon as I can.
“The ceremony was perfect too, and their vows were so heartfelt. It was sweet to hear about how they fell for each other right away. There are always stories about alphas and omegas finding love at first sight, but it’s even better hearing it from your friends, like a real-life fairytale,” Kieran says, going right back to talking about the bonding.
Actually, I’m not sure that listening to their conversation is better than thinking about my past.
“It has been great to see our friends find their omega. Especially since they’re an older pack, it’s nice to see you can find love at any age,” Alister says.
“Well, the alphas are older. I guess that means in a few decades we can start looking for our young omega?” I say.
Alister frowns at me, the ever-present fine lines at the edge of his mouth deepening, and I feel even shittier for saying that. I usually keep my bleak thoughts to myself, but the bonding and all the lovey-dovey talk has pushed me past my limits.
That’s no excuse for lashing out at my packmates. I know they’re still dating and looking for The One, but they leave me to my bachelorhood with little comment, and I don’t tell them they’re wasting their time. That’s our status quo.
Normally when I get irritable, I can retreat somewhere to decompress, but the bonding was a full-day affair.
I couldn’t escape it for long without people noticing and thinking I ate some bad shrimp.
Which I didn’t. The shrimp was delicious and served using proper sanitation, so I didn’t even have food poisoning as an excuse to get out of the party.
“You know that’s not what I meant. They’re not that old, and it’s not like Maisie is barely legal, she’s almost thirty. As long as everyone is old enough, there’s no limit on finding love. I’m sure our pack will find someone close to our age eventually,” Alister says.
His quasi-lecture makes me bristle, but I was being an asshole, so I let it slide .
Mostly.
“Sure. There’s plenty of omegas and betas open to pack life out there. You can set up a traveling show and visit a new town every week. You’ve had no luck in Starsfalls, so it’s probably time to hit the road,” I say.
Alister ignores my remarks, turning away like he didn’t even hear me.
I’m just telling the truth, trying to protect them as much as myself. I’ve been burned before, and now I’m smart enough to avoid the thing that burned me. If only my packmates would listen to my advice.
“We haven’t dated everyone in Starsfalls. Besides, new people move here all the time,” Kieran says, not following Alister’s approach.
I scoff. “New omegas move here all the time? Right, the least common designation is just flocking to little Starsfalls to look for mates.”
“Starsfalls is a quaint town. Many omegas and betas like cozy places. It’s not surprising that new people are moving here. The business association always includes reports on the demographics of new residents,” Sterling says.
If only one of my other packmates had responded. I’m not going to argue with Sterling, and he’s right anyway. I know Starsfalls attracts new people, but I still don’t think the town is magical enough to pull in an omega who will stay with us forever.
“I have to go check on the plumeria,” I say, standing up abruptly and walking out, yanking off my tie as I go.
“Ciro, it’s late, and your workers were there all day. I think your farm will be fine until tomorrow,” Kieran calls after me, but I don’t stop.
There’s nothing at home to distract me when my thoughts are this tangled. The only thing that helps is the plants.
I feel a spark of satisfaction as I pull on my work boots, darkly amused that this suit is about to be muddied with farm work.
While I tie the laces, I hear the murmurs of my packmates.
Unfortunately, I collapsed on the couch closest to the garage entrance, so I get to hear their worried thoughts while I hurry to lace up my boots.
I’m able to block their worry in the bond, but I can’t turn off my ears, so I need to get out of here fast.
“What is his therapist for if they’re not helping him with this?” Kieran whispers.
Sterling shushes him, since Kieran’s “whisper” was barely quieter than his usual deep voice.
It doesn’t matter, I already know what my packmates think. My therapist is useful, but there’s nothing else to work through in this regard. I can’t and won’t forget the lessons I’ve learned.
“…you were going to talk to him about this,” is the next thing I make out from Sterling.
“I’ve tried to bring it up, but he ignores it. I thought going to the bonding ceremony today might loosen him up, seeing how committed our friends are to each other. Maisie is kind and sweet. I thought surely he would realize that there are omegas who would never hurt their pack,” Alister says.
“Should it be on the omega anyway?” Feliks chimes in.
He doesn’t usually get involved in these conversations, not when I’m around to hear it at least. “The blame should be on his ex-packmates. They’re the ones who chose a mate who wasn’t romantically interested in everyone.
They’re the ones who gave no notice before?—”
I slam the door on my way out, cutting off the rest of his words. I don’t need them analyzing my past, I’ve done enough of that myself. It’s not for them to decide who was at fault and how I should feel.
I jerk the gearshift into reverse and speed out, sliding under the garage door just as it opens enough for my truck to get through. After turning around, I drive carefully onto the street and head to the farm.
As soon as I pull onto the farm road, my shoulders relax. I work to loosen the rest of my body on the drive in, starting with my fingers clenched on the wheel, and with that and a few deep breaths, I’m feeling better by the time I park.
I grab my pruning shears, a basket, and a flashlight, and walk into the fields. A few hours of working in the soil, harvesting flowers, and I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
My packmates and plants are all I need.