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Iwake up to an empty bed. I can see he slept here earlier, but his side is feeling cold now, which means that he must have gotten up a while ago. Did I do something wrong? I didn’t like how he left when I went to sleep too. What if he’s already tired of me?
Disappointment and insecurity cloud my mind, making me curse myself. Why am I always like this? Maybe he just had something important to do? Desperation isn’t sexy, Tay! I tell myself, even though I can feel the insecurity trying to reach the surface. Not today, Satan!
Maybe I should just get up and start the day instead of sitting here overthinking everything like some desperate housewife. There’s a delicious smell filling the hallway, making my stomach growl in response.
The sweet smell of pancakes brings me to the kitchen. Is he seriously now also a cook?
Looking through the door, I see him standing there, unaware of my presence yet. Just the sight of him takes my breath away. Ryan is completely shirtless, showing off his abs and perfect ink. And yup, it’s actually him making pancakes while wearing a white apron with ‘Suck the cook’ written on it. Like he just came straight from one of my romance books. Only now I also notice that he has a tattoo on his back; two eyes of a big wolf are looking at me. It’s creepy and oddly attractive too. He stiffens for a second when noticing me standing there, staring at him like a creepy stalker. I am so not acing this married couple thing.
It’s not long before he breaks hold of his freeze and turns towards me. "Good Morning, little doe,”
he chirps at me. I awkwardly smile and walk closer, giving him a kiss.
“What did I do to deserve a man like you?”
He smiles at me, the sight so perfect I don’t think I would survive losing him too.
He moves the pile of pancakes onto the table, and I frown, seeing there's only one plate. Is he not eating breakfast with me?
He notices me looking and moves his hands to hold my head. His eyes soften.
“I have work to do, but I’ll be back before it’s dark.”
He gives me a peck on my lips and cleans up while I sit down and take a bite. At least he cooked, I guess.
“Babe, this is amazing!”
I say while moaning with my mouth still full. If my mother were to see me, she’d be yelling at me, calling me a heathen. But to be fair to her, nothing I would do was ever good enough.
He laughs, taking his keys before he walks back towards me to kiss my forehead.
“I’m glad you like it. Don’t open the door for anyone okay?”
he says while going to the door.
“What if it’s important?”
I get up and walk closer to him. His hand is on the door and his jaw tightens. He’s clearly annoyed at my question, but why?
“You open for no one when I’m not home. I’m not going to come home again to my wife being attacked.”
His voice is deeper, and there's anger in it. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I can understand his fear and it only happened recently, but that doesn’t mean I should get locked up here. Besides, his security is so tight, I don’t think anyone would be even able to get here without someone at least being warned. Hence the question: how did my attacker get in here, and why didn’t I stay in this house with Mara? The police told me that she died in her house, and since it’s so safe here, why wouldn't I just let her spend the night here? If only I could just remember.
Dark thoughts are filling my head again, and I can feel something heavy in my throat. I think it’s guilt. I mean I could’ve saved her—I should've just let her stay here.
Before the tears come, someone is holding me tightly, whispering something in my ear.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up, I'm sorry, baby. Just stay safe, and if you want to take a walk, make sure to stay on the terrain and to keep a taser with you just in case, okay?”
He wipes his thumbs over my cheeks. Was I crying?
I nod at him and watch him leave the house. I wait until his car is fully out of sight before I close the door and go to the living room to sit down and grab my new book, Run Rabbit, Run by Talia Lane. If there’s something that helps me take my mind away from things, it’s reading books, and Talia is one of my favourite authors.
It’s been over four hours now since Ryan left, and I have never felt so alone in my life. I’ve thought about texting him, but I didn’t want to come across as ‘too needy’, so I kept deleting a message and then retyping to delete it again. I should just wait till he’s home, I mean, he’s busy and I don’t want to intrude just because I'm lonely. Ugh, I hate it, I hate this.
I used to be able to call Mara, and she would always be there, but I guess that’s not possible anymore. A small sob leaves my lips.
This is unfair. Why did she have to go? She had so much to live for and it’s all because of some sick fuck. Tears are pouring down my face, but it’s not only sadness I feel, oh no, there's anger too.
Not only did he take her from me, but the police said they couldn’t even find him. So this sicko could literally go and attack more innocent women for no reason.
The buzzing of my phone pulls me out of my own head. Lifting it up, I notice it’s Ryan calling me, probably to check up on me. I can’t say I don’t feel relieved that he’s calling me now, though. I felt like I was going to spiral again, and I really don’t like being alone in this quiet and big house with no one to talk to.
“Still alive in there?”
I laugh through a sob and try to sound as happy as I can, but it feels so forced and untrue.
“Yeah. H—how is work?”
My voice hitches slightly and I really hope he doesn’t notice it. It’s quiet for a couple of seconds on the line before he starts to talk again.
“What’s wrong? Are you crying? You know what, I'm going to come home early today. I shouldn’t be leaving you alone so quickly.”
He starts to mumble some things to himself, and I can’t fully hear anything, but he’s definitely cursing himself. It’s almost making it impossible for me to say something between his ranting.
“Why? It’s okay, everything is okay. I just need some air, that’s all.”
I can hear him packing his stuff on the other side while he talks to someone in the background.
“Because you are alone and crying. Don’t think I don’t know you enough to know when you are not okay.”
I can’t hold the tears from flowing anymore as I start to full-on cry on the phone, not even able to say a simple word. Why am I like this? Get it together.
“Baby, I’m coming home okay. Just—why don’t you go into the garden? Take some breaths of fresh air and calm your mind until I’m back home.”
I’m not used to this kind of thing and I don’t know how to feel about it. I am a grown woman. I should be able to take care of myself, and I don’t want to become that one person who always relies on others. I mean, look how far it got me with Mara. I relied on her for everything, and now I’m just a total mess.
“Baby?”
“Y—yeah,”
I make out between sobs. Maybe going outside might do me some good. I walk towards the garden while still having him on the phone. He is telling me some stuff about when he’ll be here and the things I can do in the meanwhile, but I can’t fully focus on everything because of how fast he is talking, and feeling drained from the crying isn’t helping me either.
“So, you’ll be careful, right?”
He sounds so worried, leaving his work early to come here. All because I can’t deal with Mara’s death. Don’t think like that, it will only make things worse.
“Babe? You there?”
I hum my response, still slightly distracted with my own thoughts.
“I’ll give you some time to clear your head. I'll be there in twenty minutes tops,”
he says. I might not be able to see him, but I can definitely imagine him smiling while saying it based on his tone.
“Okay. See you soon,”
I say before I hang up on him, while finally opening the door to his garden. Fresh air greets me and I take in a deep breath before I start to explore the area. It’s huge here, there’s flowers on both sides, a small fountain, and a pathway that leads to the forest that is attached to his garden.
I also notice an older man who is planting something close to the forest.
“Oh, hi.”
I wave at the man and he looks at me and smiles. There's a tooth missing and his back is slightly bent. Does he work here?
“Hi miss. Here because of the cemetery too?”
he asks, making me frown at him. There's a cemetery close by? Ryan never mentioned anything about it.
“I’m not sure I know what you are talking about?”
He takes a breath and looks around before turning back to me.
“Don’t go there. What gets in doesn’t come back the same way.”
I open my mouth a few times, unsure of what to reply. Does he have dementia or something like that? Maybe I should just call the police, or if he has family, call them for help.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?”
He frowns at me like he found my question rude. He bends down and pushes a small seed into the ground again.
“Don’t enter. What goes in doesn’t come out.”
He repeats the sentence like a broken record. I pick up my phone to call Ryan again, unsure what to do, but the man grabs my hand to stop me and looks me deep in the eye. ‘You cannot go there, you can’t! They aren’t the same!”
He starts to shout at me and I scream back, trying to hold back the panic as I attempt to get him to let me go. He looks behind me, his expression changing into one of pure fear, and then he lets go of me and starts to run into the forest.
“Wait!”
I yell, quickly glancing behind me. There’s a grey cat standing near the fountain. Is he scared of cats? I press 911 on my phone and call for help while I go after the man. He’s old and confused and clearly needs help. I can’t just leave him alone in there, what if he falls?
“911, what’s your emergency?”
I hear a soft calm voice ask. I’m sort of out of breath from the running already, but I try to talk as clearly as one who is currently running into an unknown forest can.
“Hello? There’s this old confused man a—and he ran in the forest. I—I don’t know who he is, he needs help, I think.”
My breathing is hitching, and I can feel an asthma attack coming if I don’t take a break soon. Shit!
“M—ma’am, I can—”
The line goes dead, and I curse myself even more now. Great, I am alone in the forest, no connection, can’t find the old man either now, and I don’t have my inhaler with me. Just great!
I try to focus my hearing hoping to hear the old man running somewhere close by, but it’s dead silent. I do some breathing exercises while I slowly walk back to the house.
Of course, I don’t know where I am, and therefore am lost, which is what I can add to the pile of ‘shit I get myself involved in’.
How hard can it be to find my way back? If Ryan finds out I’m lost in the woods, he’s going to lose his shit and probably never let me leave the house again. I mutter a few curses and walk to where I think I should go.
The further I go, the darker the forest gets, giving me an ominous feeling. The hairs on my body are starting to stand up, and the air is getting colder.
Coming here was clearly a mistake.
Something moves to my right, and I almost scream from the jump scare it just gave me.
“Sorry, miss. Didn’t mean to frighten ya.”
The man seems to be in his early forties and he is wearing dirty, old farmer clothes with small holes in them. He seems young, but he feels old. That’s odd, right? Maybe I am just being weird about this.
“It’s okay. I’m going back home to my husband,”
I tell him, hoping the mention of Ryan will scare him away. I don’t know the man, and there's something about him that makes my skin crawl.
I take a step to continue leaving, but it seems that the conversation isn’t over yet for him.
“Ah, came to the cemetery too? Who did you lose?”
he asks while smiling up at me.
“Hmm, I’m not sure what you are talking about?”
I frown, he laughs, and waves his hand as a sign to make me follow him. I know I really shouldn’t, and this is usually how people die, but my curiosity is getting the better of me, and I decide to follow him, but not before picking up a piece of a branch. Because I’m not that stupid.
He brings me to an old cemetery that is hidden within the woods. The ground is almost black, and there are statues of angels that seem dark and cold, and big stone crosses that are partly scratched. This is definitely the creepiest cemetery I’ve ever seen.
“What is this place?”
I ask with worry etched in my tone. He doesn’t look at me and just stares at one of the graves. I walk closer, seeing the name on it: ‘Toby Higgins’. The date is partly scratched off, making it impossible to see it properly.
“Here is where we bury those whom we can’t miss,”
he says, eyes not leaving the grave.
“Why not bring them to a normal cemetery?”
I ask him, taking a small step back from the scene. From him.
“Because they don’t come back like they do here.”
Huh, almost the same thing the old man said. Maybe he was actually telling me something.
I clear my throat and take another step away. Nothing here feels right, and the warning of the old man rings in my head. I should’ve just continued going home instead. The man turns to me, his face seems paler than before, and his eyes seem to start to lose their colour. I swallow the scream that wants to break free. What the fuck is this?
“I know you lost, I know your pain. Bring her here and you will have her back.”
His voice sounds rougher, and he opens his mouth. There’s a spider, yes, an ACTUAL SPIDER crawling out of it, climbing back up over his face into his hair. What the fuck?
“T—there’s a—a s—spider,”
I rasp, unsure how to take in what is happening. He smiles and takes a step closer, making me back up one too.
“I was buried here too. Don’t you want her back?”
I can feel tears of fear sliding down my face, and my breathing is hitching, making me gasp for air. Is this a panic attack? Am I dying? He stays still and moves his head to the side like some creepy scarecrow from those Halloween maze games. His skin is turning a pale blue and his eyes are turned into a pure white now. He opens his mouth again, making more mini spiders creep out.
I scream and start to run as far away from this place, from this man, as I can. This did not just fucking happen.
“You’ll be back soon!”
he yells after me. No, I won’t!
I keep running for a while until I hit something full force, making me fall and taking whatever I hit down with me.
There are strong hands holding my hips, and I look up to see the most beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. I have never been as glad to see him as I am right now.
“Are you okay?”
His voice is filled with worry, and he moves one of his hands to brush the side of my face.
Relieved to see him, I bury my head into his neck and let him hold me. I don’t think he’s very comfortable in this position, but he doesn’t show it if he isn’t.
After a while, he decides it’s best to get off the mud. He moves me off so he can stand up, then helps me up too. He grabs my face in his hands, our lips barely touching. If I wasn’t scared shitless right now, I would definitely be turned on.
“Babe? What happened? Why are you running and screaming in the forest? Didn’t I tell you to stay within the terrain?”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that? That I saw a zombie? If that even is what he was supposed to be. I’m pretty sure he’ll just bring me back to the hospital if I do. And do I even mention the old man, since I might have also made that up because no way that actually happened.
“Babe?”
His brows are furrowed and he clearly seems worried. Do I tell him the truth or do I lie?
“There was this old man in your garden, and he ran confused in the forest, so I went after him. But then I lost him, and there was someone else, but he creeped me out, so I ran.”
There, it's not a complete lie, but just information with some missing extra facts.
“You should’ve called me instead of going after him. You don’t remember this place and this forest is big.”
He is scolding me, but at least not calling me crazy, so that's a win, right?
I look behind me, making sure whatever that was didn’t follow me. The forest seems warmer again too, filled with more colour and the air is less heavy to breathe. Maybe it’s because of my concussion?
“Babe? Are you listening?”
I look back at him, not knowing what it was he said, but I nod anyway. He’s already mad at me, no need for it to get worse.
He sighs and gives me a fast peck on the lips.
“Why don’t you go wait inside while I call 911 for the old man?”
He holds me steady with his hand over my hip while he guides me out of the forest until the house is visible.