Page 19 of The Wrong Idea (The Kinky Bank Robbers #2)

Chapter Fourteen

Odin reset the alarm and we headed out into the day, locking the back door behind us. We got into the car wearing our full outfits—the kilts, shirts, vests, and boots. Everything except for the facemasks.

Zeus started up the car and checked his watch before pulling out. “Forty-five minutes.”

He and Odin both wore watches, which was unusual for them, but I supposed if you needed to check the time during a heist, you didn’t want to have to pull out your cell phone.

I hadn’t said anything about the kilts, not wanting to jinx it, but…

kilts! Were they really going to wear them for the robbery?

With no underwear? I had assumed, from the way Zeus and Odin were talking, that the kilts got nixed and that we’d stop and get different outfits. But they still had them on.

We stopped at a drive-thru and got coffees, then parked in the Valu-Marque supermarket lot across from the bank.

Zeus pulled out binoculars and watched the entrance. “Nobody in yet.”

“Wait, so we’re just going to do it now?” I asked. “It’s time to rob a bank?”

Thor grinned. “It’s always time to rob a bank, baby.”

“You ready, Ice?” Odin asked. “You feeling okay? If you’re not feeling ready, you can drive. We don’t want to push you, but we’d prefer you inside. Not just for you to witness our all-powerful skills, but you’re ex-bank, after all.”

Ex-bank. Because I used to be a teller. I liked that. Zeus and Odin were ex-military and I was ex-bank. “I want to go in. I feel good. Nervous, but good. And not tired at all like I’ve been up all night,” I added.

“You won’t be tired ’til after,” Odin said.

“So…I thought you weren’t going for the kilts,” I said.

Zeus lowered the binoculars and directed the full intensity of his gaze at me. “I thought you wanted us to wear them.”

“No, I do! I do want you to!”

“Well, I’m getting into them now, too,” Zeus said.

“I like the easy access. And the way I see it, nothing says fuck you quite like robbing a bank in kilts.” He glanced back at the bank.

“Actually, I’m fucking loving these things.

They communicate total disdain to those who have wronged us.

It was an inspired choice, Ice. Plus, you think they’re hot. ”

“I do think they’re hot,” I said.

“There’s not a lot we wouldn’t do for you, goddess.” Zeus said this last bit warmly, humorously, but I felt the gravity behind it, and I recognized it for the deepest kind of truth.

Right then, I understood more than I ever had what the tattoo meant.

We would never leave each other.

We would always care for each other.

We were beyond married.

Zeus put the binoculars back to his face.

We can do anything together , I thought.

“Total disdain,” Odin said.

I smiled. “Did you know you’re not supposed to wear underwear with them?”

Odin snorted. “Is that public knowledge? That a man is naked under his kilt?”

“Pretty much,” I said.

“This just gets better.” Odin shimmied off his boxers. “One flash and nobody will be fucking-g remembering anything to ID us. We barely even need fake scars and tattoos. They’ll be looking at the kilts.”

“No, we’re still using the disguise stuff,” Zeus said. “No need to get sloppy.”

Odin grunted and pulled out the little kit.

I chose a large thigh tattoo, a scar for my hand, and a beauty spot for my face.

We all took a facial mark for luck—and for a mask-off scenario, they called it.

Odin had wigs for us all to wear under the ski masks.

Thor had grabbed antique bullet sashes for him and Odin back at the store.

He put his over his head and across his shoulder.

“I don’t get one?” I asked.

“You don’t want one, trust me,” Thor said. “They weigh a ton.”

“But they look cool,” I said.

“Right?” Thor raised his blond brows. “They look scary. They look guerilla. Eighty percent of this game is mental.”

Odin handed out the guns. My pulse raced as I held mine, a large, silver, semi-automatic of some sort.

We’d practiced at ranges, but it was so different to hold a live gun.

Zeus and Odin and Thor all had machine guns, though I wasn’t supposed to call them that, as well as smaller side arms stuck into various pockets and belts. Things were getting really serious now.

Thor caught my train of thought, it seemed, because he put a hand on my shoulder. “Just to scare people,” he said. “We’ve never shot anybody in the course of a robbery, and we never will. It’s not what we’re about.”

“I know,” I said.

“Do you?” Zeus asked. “Because he’s right; nobody’s getting hurt here. That is the power that we have. Got it?”

I nodded. “I got it,” I said.

At twenty minutes to go-time, Odin pulled out a laptop and started hacking into the security firm’s site in order to re-route the bank security communications systems. He’d figured out the way in earlier, he’d told me.

Thor pointed at a no-parking hood over one of the meters in front of the bank.

“We put that there. One of your jobs will be to cut the ropes and pull that hood off, and then follow us in. You’re our helper.

Whatever we need, you do it, okay? And the rest of the time, your eyes are on the street and the car, got it? ”

I put my hand to my chest. “Got it.”

“And we’re going to act scary in there,” Odin said. “Remember?”

I nodded, recalling that first robbery. Odin had acted particularly dangerous and scary.

“Manager’s in,” Zeus said. “The tellers will show in a minute or two.”

Time seemed to slow. I was starting to feel nerve-jangly. I began to wring my hands, watching people go in and out of the big supermarket on the other side of the street, all having normal days. Unlike me.

“Don’t,” Thor laid a hand over mine.

“I’m fine,” I squeaked.

Odin looked back at me. “Isis. Question: do the woodsmen wear kilts?”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“You know. In that cartoon porn shit you always watch.”

I looked at Odin like he’d lost his mind. I couldn’t believe he wanted to discuss my porn predilection at a time like this.

Odin continued. “You know, the woodsmen who capture the helpless elf girl and put her in that stockade?”

“Yes! Stop!” I felt my face heat. “I think I know what you’re referring to.”

“So do they wear kilts?” he pressed. “Is that the attraction?”

“They wear Robin Hood outfits. Tight pants and hunting stuff. Possibly even tights.”

Odin frowned. “Are the tights green? I think of Robin Hood in green.”

“I can’t believe we’re discussing this when we’re about to do a heist. I don’t want to discuss the woodsmen.”

“ Heist ,” Zeus laughed. “About to do a heist .” He seemed to find the word humorous.

“I want to discuss it,” Odin said. “A woman’s fantasy is fascinating twenty-four hours a day.

” He wanted to know about the stockade that the cartoon porn woodsmen would place the woman in.

He made me describe it in detail. He said they might get some stockades made for their notorious room—just for me.

I acted unsure, but eventually I admitted that I’d like it.

We were all laughing by the time Zeus started up the car and pulled out of the lot.

I stiffened.

“Cakewalk,” Odin said. “Five minutes. In and out. You cut the meter hood, follow us in, and stay alert. Can you do that?”

“Of course.”

“Golden.” We put on our wigs, masks, and gloves. The black ski masks were way cooler than the red ones; I loved my bandits for choosing them. I tried to concentrate on that.

We parked at the hooded meter and got out on the sidewalk side. Even Zeus slid over and got out that way. I pulled the box cutter from my pocket, cut the ropes, and yanked the thing off.

Just that made me feel weirdly badass.

I sucked in a breath as I watched my guys slip in. The silver-and-glass door swung closed behind them, flashing bright as it caught the sun just coming up in the east.

Over in the bank window, the open sign went dark. The lights inside went off. My guys were already taking the place over.

I sucked in a breath and headed in.

Zeus was already up on the counter, machine gun in hand, herding the tellers out onto the floor. “We know all! We see everything!” he yelled. “Try something and you die!” He seemed so scary. And the bullet sash really did perfectly complete the kilt outfit, I thought vaguely.

Thor came near and threw me keys. “Lock up.”

I locked the door behind me and turned. My guys were moving with military precision, getting the people under control.

The manager was lying in the middle of the floor with a small handful of customers.

The place was dimly lit now, but you could still make out the slick wood furnishings and metal accents.

Eventually, things were quiet, except for the whimpers of one woman. I wished she understood she didn’t have to worry and that we’d be gone in minute.

Right then, everything turned.

Zeus grabbed a lamp off a desk, and with a roar, like a crazed Scottish barbarian or something, he threw it against the wall.

It shattered.

What was happening? Why was he so mad? Somebody screamed.

“All phones means ALL phones!” Zeus yelled.

Odin had his sidearm out—a gun with a silencer. He shot at a man. The man yelped and jerked his arm toward his side. Something black and small exploded into pieces, skittering across the floor.

I gasped. He had shot the man’s phone—hopefully before a call had gone through.

“Anyone else want to make a call?” Odin said. “You’ll lose the phone and a hand!”

Odin turned the gun upward and shot the light, which exploded, showering glass everywhere. You could feel the terror flowing now.

I scanned the street. Calm , I told myself. He only shot a phone and a light fixture.

Odin made the people stretch out on their bellies. Then he strolled confidently back to join Zeus, leaving Thor in charge.

When I looked over at Thor, he nodded. Everything cool. I nodded back, keeping my eyes out front.

Odin and Zeus headed back to get the loot.