Page 39

The memory struck Madeleine, of the day she and Haera had spoken of seeking their truth, learning how to love in front of the whole ocean.

An old man had been walking the beach alone, and yes, he’d reminded her of Jonathan.

She said, “That’s why you were there? You thought you saw him?”

Asgall stared at her, and his frame shuddered.

For a moment it seemed he would charge her, and Haera took an unsteady step toward him again, groaning.

He didn’t charge, but turned his attention back to Haera.

“I saw you , sister,” he said, roughly, as if there were barnacles in his throat.

“Standing on the shore in your true shape. I returned again and again, to see if—to find out if he, too, would” —he looked at Jonathan— “but he didn’t. Just you and her. And you spoke of love.”

“What do you know about love,” Jonathan said raggedly.

Asgall looked at him for a long, sharp moment before speaking.

“An Each-uisge becomes a Stormhorse by eating a human of great worth. He was my human, or should have been. Not now, when he is…this.”

Unable to help herself, Madeleine looked at Jonathan, whose shoulders slumped, face slack with misery.

“And you are hers,” Asgall told Madeleine.

“My sister’s way to her wings. Or so she believes ? —”

“Kill him!” Haera cried out.

“Jonathan, kill him!”

Jonathan stayed still.

He stared at Asgall as if nothing else existed, and he made no move to aim the shotgun.

“She wants to be the first female Stormhorse, and she’ll kill you to get it. She’ll drag you into the sea and eat everything but your liver.”

Madeleine might drop this knife if she couldn’t keep her hands steady.

Nothing but lies, Jonathan had just said.

Asgall only told lies.

Haera would never hurt her, she’d sworn it.

How many times had she acted to protect Madeleine, starting on the night they met?

Except—just last night, Haera sucking her finger, seeking her blood?—

“She saved my life.” Madeleine’s voice shook.

“She could have drowned me instead, and she didn’t. I think that proves you wrong. Haera? Tell him.”

Haera’s head swung low.

Her body swayed a little too.

Was she going to collapse?

“Yes, sister. Tell me,” Asgall said encouragingly.

He could easily attack Haera now and make an end of her in front of Madeleine’s eyes.

Jonathan still wasn’t doing anything with the shotgun.

But Asgall stood quite still before his sister, and Madeleine knew he’d try to destroy her with his words instead.

He couldn’t do that, though, could he?

Not if Haera was innocent.

His accusations couldn’t hurt her or any of them.

Haera only had to deny it.

“Tell us all that I’m lying,” Asgall said.

“Or even mistaken. After all, you and I never spoke of this. You held your secret dear. I’m only guessing—and possibly I’m wrong. Say you never intended to devour your Madeleine so you could take to the skies. Swear to it.”

Blood dripped down Haera’s sides from the bite Asgall had given her back.

Maybe that’s why she wasn’t instantly denying what he said.

She would, though. Of course she’d say Asgall was lying.

She’d wanted to connect with Madeleine, explore the bond between them, as she’d sworn so many times.

Just say it. She only had to say it.

“Kill him,” Haera said.

“Jonathan, please.”

Madeleine’s heart grew cold.

Colder even than when Asgall had stalked her in the cottage.

In her peripheral vision, Jonathan finally took a step forward.

Then another. He looked unsteady in the mud.

His face had gone from red to pale, white to the lips.

“Lass?” he said, looking at Haera.

“It’s not true, is it?”

Haera lunged toward Asgall, if you could call it that.

Her bite would have been more of a nip if it had landed, which it didn’t.

She was too far away, and Asgall only laughed, even as blood turned patches of his own hide even darker.

“And you came back for more,” he said to Madeleine.

“You couldn’t help yourself, could you? Even after so short an encounter, you were bound to her. You had to return, just as this one” —he looked at the gaping Jonathan— “can never leave me.”

Jonathan’s gaze went slowly back and forth between Haera and Asgall like a pendulum.

Madeleine’s voice finally dragged itself out of hell.

She croaked, “Haera? He’s lying, isn’t he?”

If Haera said yes, Madeleine would believe her.

Even now, when the depth of her soul knew Asgall spoke the truth.

Denial was the most wretched, impoverished face of love.

Haera turned to look back at Madeleine.

Her yellow eyes were dull with pain and with something else, something Madeleine recognized all too well.

Confession.

Madeleine had brought the knife with her to use in Haera’s defense.

Now it fell from her nerveless hands.

Haera watched it fall.

Her head lowered again, and she swung it back toward Asgall, though she faced the ground.

Then she bowed forward, going down on her front knees, and lowered her head until her muzzle touched the ground.

“Finish me,” she said.

“I can’t make it to the witch.”

The witch?

Haera had only ever told Madeleine about one witch, the one at the bottom of a whirlpool who’d taken pity on Haera and flung her ashore to save her.

Haera had never said why she’d done it, just acted as if it was a random act of mercy.

Then she’d dreamed of her, and Madeleine had dismissed it as a nightmare.

Was that the witch she meant?

If Asgall knew, he didn’t seem to care.

He opened his mouth, and saliva stretched between his teeth, as if he meant to strain his sister’s blood through it.

For a blighted, blistering moment, Madeleine wanted him to.

In the next moment, she opened her mouth to scream in protest.

“You’ll die with her, then.”

Madeleine turned so quickly that her wet hair smacked her cheek.

Jonathan had finally raised the shotgun and was aiming it straight at Asgall.

The barrel held steady, not shaking a bit.

“Piss off before I shoot you between the eyes.”

Asgall backed up and lowered his head like a bull about to charge.

“You cannot. You’ll never bring yourself to do it. No more than I…”

He trailed off, but Jonathan seemed to know what he’d meant.

Now the shotgun wavered.

“I spent too much time with you,” Asgall spat.

“You made me weak. It won’t happen again. Lower the gun, you sad old man, and let me give her what she deserves. She deceived you worse than I ever did.”

Jonathan set his jaw and hefted the gun more firmly.

“Then she’ll answer to us, not you. I said go.”

Asgall pawed the earth, drawing ruts in the mud.

“She said she loved you. I heard her!” His voice had lost its superior, mocking edge.

“Do you actually believe it?”

“You don’t know what love is!” Jonathan’s shout was another thunderclap, as shocking as the one that had hit just over the cottage.

For a moment, his eyes flashed like lightning too.

“I knew the second you dragged me into the water! And for that ? To shit out lightning?”

“To fly,” Asgall said.

“You’d have been part of that. You’d have flown with me.”

Haera cried out softly when he said that.

“You bastard.” Jonathan’s chest heaved.

“You ruined me. Years I’ve spent thinking—no, decades—” He stabbed the gun’s muzzle forward.

“You took decades from me, the two of you stole my whole fucking life , didn’t you? Mine, and hers too.”

He glanced at Madeleine, who could neither move nor speak.

Haera, still kneeling, groaned.

“ Stole your life? You dare say that?” Asgall’s voice rose with new fury.

“When I let you keep it? I could have—” He went up a little on his hind legs, as if preparing to fight again.

Jonathan said nothing, but his eyes closed, and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

“I still can,” Asgall rasped.

“I will, you pathetic—you wasted what I gave you.” He looked down at Haera.

“As soon as I finish this business first. The new Sire will reward me for it. For all three of you. I’m sure of it.”

He rose up again on his hind legs, higher this time, and poised right over Haera.

When he brought his hooves down, he’d crush her head.

“No,” Madeleine cried, as if that’d help anything, “no, stop?—”

The gun’s percussive roar split the air worse than the loudest thunderclap.

Madeleine cried out, and Asgall staggered backward as dark liquid bloomed on his chest.

Smoke drifted from the double barrels of Jonathan’s gun.

The barrels trembled.

His eyes were wild.

Asgall groaned and stepped back again.

Blood dripped from where Jonathan had shot him.

Was it near any vital organs?

Where did Each-uisge keep their hearts?

“You’ll need…more than that.” Asgall’s head dipped before he raised it again, as if with great effort.

“I’ve got it.” Jonathan’s voice was thick.

“Have you?”

Asgall bared his teeth again and looked at Jonathan with flashing eyes.

Would Jonathan be able to shoot him again?

He seemed reluctant, as if he couldn’t understand the danger they were all in.

Madeleine had grown up with the Ten Commandments, including: You shall not kill.

But if she had the gun and knew how to fire it, she’d break that one.

“He killed the trow,” she heard herself say.

“The trow that protected the farm.”

“I noticed,” Jonathan said.

“Everything looks proper fucked. I expect that was your plan,” he added to Asgall.

“You…” Asgall stepped backward unsteadily.

“You have no idea what I’ve done. The lengths I’ve gone to.”

“I know you’ve been creeping ’round the place at night in the man’s skin you wore to fool me. I knew it was you, I just couldn’t face it.” Jonathan bared his teeth too.

“Even the dogs didn’t bark.”

“They knew better.” Asgall’s breathing was labored.

“Well? End it, then.”

The gun shook in Jonathan’s hands.

“Haera and I both betrayed you,” Asgall said.

“We both intended to slay those who only sought to love us. This is your moment, old man. Have your revenge.”

Jonathan looked at Madeleine then, for some reason.

Haera sank lower to the ground, bleeding from the wound on her back.

“Not her,” Madeleine choked.

They couldn’t kill Haera.

The thought turned Madeleine’s bones to lead.

She’d come all this way to find her angel, find her answer, and even if that answer was full of lies and bleeding in the mud, they couldn’t kill her.

In the distance came the sound of a motor.

A car. No doubt Jim or Connor, coming to check on the farm.

“Get out,” Jonathan said again to Asgall.

He waved the gun, his face haggard.

“Now.”

Asgall’s head turned toward the sound of the motor.

He looked again at Jonathan, at the pointed gun.

Then he turned and loped away with an uneven gait, a smudge of darkness against the green field.

White sheep cried out and scattered before him in panic.

Some of the sheep, Madeleine saw now, lay dead on the ground.

That lightning strike, maybe.

We’ve never lost an animal in a storm, Connor had bragged to Madeleine once.

The motor sounded louder.

It’d be at the head of the driveway now.

From the driveway’s angle, a driver wouldn’t be able to see behind the cottage, but there was no time to waste.

Madeleine nevertheless stood frozen, looking at Haera slumped on the ground.

Blood wasn’t gouting out of her, exactly, but it came in a steady stream.

Jonathan kept his eyes on Asgall until he was out of sight.

Then he cursed, set down the gun, and went to Haera.

His gait looked none too steady either.

His motion snapped Madeleine out of her trance, and she hurried forward too, until she could kneel in front of Haera.

Haera’s mouth hung open as she breathed too slowly.

Asgall’s blood covered her muzzle and sharp teeth.

Her yellow eyes were dull, and she didn’t seem to see Madeleine properly.

“Lass.” Jonathan knelt too, with more effort and a groan.

“Change back. Hurry. They’ll be here soon.”

“What happens to her wounds?” Madeleine demanded.

If they got worse when Haera transformed…

“They turn into the human version. I think?” Jonathan rubbed a hand over his forehead.

“That’s what happened after she washed up on shore. Haera, change, we’ll take you to Sue.” When Haera said nothing, he grabbed a hank of her mane and tugged.

“For God’s sake! Can you hear me?”

“Change,” Haera said slowly.

“Yes.”

She rolled slowly on her side, the one without the bite.

A pained whinny escaped her anyway.

Madeleine held her breath and waited for the transformation to begin.

What would change first?

Would Haera’s long Each-uisge face become her inhuman human one?

If it did, then she’d become the Haera Madeleine knew.

She could explain everything.

In spite of everything Asgall had said, maybe there was still some misunderstanding.

Haera’s hind legs quivered.

She pressed them together.

They seemed suddenly to fuse into one shape.

The hooves began to lengthen.

They spread out into two fins.

Her hide changed too.

As Madeleine stared, Haera’s bottom half turned from flesh to scale, her powerful hind legs becoming a fish tail.

“Oh God,” Jonathan choked.

“Like him…like he was…”

“Yes.” Haera lay in the mud, her tail flopping weakly, as if she’d been caught in a net and dragged onto the deck of a ship.

“This is what we are.” She turned her head with a groan and looked into Madeleine’s eyes.

“This is what I am.”

Wrong, Madeleine wanted to protest, you’re the woman who kissed me on the beach, you’re the woman I left my whole life for, you’re the woman I ? —

“No more lies.” Haera tossed her head, dragging her mane in the dirt.

“I was going to—what he said. I was going to kill you.”

No.

Madeleine stared into Haera’s pleading eyes.

They weren’t human eyes, not with how they rolled in distress.

They weren’t horse eyes either, not with their supernatural intelligence.

She said slowly, “You were going to kill me.”

Haera made a low, pained sound.

“Yes.”

Madeleine clutched her wet sweater.

She had to be missing something.

“But you saved me.”

“Hang on,” Jonathan said, his voice strained.

“She should change back to human, we should talk inside?—”

“No!” Madeleine leaned forward, on her hands and knees, getting mud everywhere.

“You saved me on the night we met!”

“You saved me first.” Haera rubbed the side of her head into the ground.

“As you said yourself, you set me free. I was in your debt. I paid you back. And then…”

And then the debt was paid, and Haera had owed Madeleine nothing else.

She was free to—to?—

“Eat me,” Madeleine managed.

“You were going to eat me. This whole time I’ve been here—that was your plan?”

All their nights together, the way Haera loved to nibble and suck at Madeleine’s skin, how she whispered that she wanted to eat Madeleine alive.

How she’d licked the blood from her finger.

It had felt so good, and it had only been a poor substitute for something else.

For what Haera had wanted all along.

“At first,” Haera whispered.

“At first, yes. So I could regain honor with my herd. So I could become a Stormhorse.”

Jonathan cursed again.

Madeleine fell on her bottom and scooted away from the monster in the mud.

“But I couldn’t.” Haera’s voice rose into a plea.

“Didn’t you see, that night I found you on the beach? I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you...I swear it on the Great Mare, on all the tides…”

Madeleine couldn’t go back into the cottage.

Not the place where she and Haera had lain in each other’s arms for so many nights now after Madeleine had thrown aside the teachings that had defined her life.

She couldn’t stay here either.

Madeleine rose to her feet.

She had to leave.

“Wait,” Haera moaned.

“I’m not just this.”

She closed her eyes and seemed to concentrate.

Her fish tail split again and took the shape, not of horse legs, but human ones.

Her body shrank, her barrel chest slimmed down and grew two breasts, and her front legs became her muscular arms. Before Madeleine lay the naked form she’d enjoyed for weeks, but bleeding and bruised.

Asgall’s blood still covered Haera’s mouth from nose to chin.

“I’m also this.” Haera’s voice was now the one Madeleine knew, even if it was rough with pain.

“Please, I’m sorry, I’m—I’m also this , and you love me like this, don’t you? You love me.” Her voice rose again, cracked with desperation.

“I know you love me!”

The truth will cut you worse, Asgall had said.

“I—I?—”

“And I love you.” Haera held out a hand to her.

It trembled. “I know what that means now, I understand, I won’t hurt you?—”

Madeleine turned.

Her feet carried her with more speed than she’d have thought possible under the circumstances.

She’d grown stronger while working the farm.

She ran across the wet fields while Haera’s anguished cries faded behind her.

She didn’t know where she was headed.

She’d just go until her legs wouldn’t carry her for another step, or until she reached the cliffs, the land ended, and there was only the sea.

The sea where Haera had meant to drown Madeleine.

She had succeeded and didn’t even know it.

Madeleine was drowning now.

There was no rescue in sight.