Page 35 of The Wolf and the Chimera (The Witch and the Cowboy #3)

Ryder

I plunged into the abyss for so long, all the screams were wrenched from my throat.

Fiery pain ravaged it, and my muscles spasmed from the tension that lined them.

My head spun, and I wondered if I truly still fell, or if time and space and reason had also left me.

My wolf, however, wouldn’t let me give up.

I remained tensed—ready to shift onto my feet, to brace myself—as soon as a floor appeared.

Instead, the world simply warped.

One moment, I was falling, and the next she was there.

In a lovely field, I laid on plush grass, facing my beautiful mate. Though she wore no clothes, sunlight shielded the intimate parts of her body like a divine dress. As I sat up, her ruby eyes glinted with joy.

“Ryder,” she crooned, “I found you.”

I reached for the hand she had caressed me with and planted a kiss on her smooth palm.

“I knew you would,” I said.

Gods, she was beautiful.

Wind toyed with the ends of her long, braided hair, and her plush lips curved into a smile. Even with the light shielding her, I traced the lush curves of her silhouette with my gaze.

“I had to find you,” she continued, “to ask you why.”

I quirked a brow. “Why, what, Ellie? ”

She squeezed my hand gently. “Why do you think you deserve me?”

I balked, and she cocked her head.

“Why, Ryder?” she asked. “Why do you think you deserve me after what you did?”

No, I thought. This isn’t real. This can’t be real—

“Answer,” she said with that soft, willful voice of hers. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You’ll never have me, not really. Not after you lied about the claiming. So tell me why.”

Inside, my wolf whined its sorrow, and desperation drove my words.

“I didn’t lie,” I countered. “I know I kept it from you, but I didn’t lie.”

Elle chuckled coldly. “Really? You’re going to argue about specifics? You lied by omission. ”

I clamped my mouth shut and ground my teeth. I fought to think, but the pounding in my head, mixed with my desperation and my wolf’s despair, made it impossible.

“You left Freya behind,” she snapped. “You left your best friend, your first love , and you didn’t go back for her.”

Her words hollowed me completely.

“I know,” I whispered. My gaze drifted to the ground. “I know I’m no better than Lyall.”

Elle gripped my jaw and forced my chin up. I met her unyielding, vividly red gaze.

“No,” she countered, “you’re no better than the woman who made you so screwed up, who broke you before you ever got started. You’re no better than Kalli.”

I couldn’t escape her burning, incessant gaze, nor could I run from the truth of her words. Tears traced down my cheeks.

“Elle,” I whispered, “Ellie, stop.”

Her grip tightened. “Admit it. Admit you’re no better than the woman you’ve blamed your every mistake on.”

I couldn’t find the words—I couldn’t find the will. I couldn’t do anything but bear her judgment.

My judgment .

The realization jolted me.

No matter how angry Elle got, she would never spit such vitriol. She would never try to hurt someone. She wouldn’t hurt me.

“This is an illusion,” I said.

Anger twisted Elle’s lovely features.

“Does it matter?” she demanded. “It may be an illusion, but I’m not lying.”

No.

No, it didn’t matter because this illusion—all of them—had shown me every ugly thought I believed about myself. They had shown me every nasty thing that held me back.

“Maybe I’m no better than Kalli,” I said, “but I want to be. And-and I still have the chance to be.”

I reached for Elle’s hand that gripped my chin. When I clasped my fingers through hers, she didn’t fight my grasp. She only stared unflinchingly into my eyes.

“But I’ll never get the chance to be better,” I said, “if I don’t let go of the past. If I don’t forgive myself and…and Kalli.”

Elle studied me a moment longer, then a smile curved her lips. She squeezed my hand.

“Wake up, Ryder. I’m here.”

I blinked, and the world once again shifted. When I opened my eyes, I laid in the sandy pit of the coliseum with Elle at my side. I inhaled her jasmine, sandalwood and lilac scent.

Real. She’s real.

Her face split into a teary-eyed grin, and I pulled her into my embrace. As the soft, luscious curves of her body pressed against the hard planes of mine, lust and instincts roared in my ears.

Claim, claim, claim…

I needed to tell her. If I had learned anything from the hell Circe had put me through, it was that I needed to tell Elle about the claiming.

Still smiling, she pulled back to face me. The delicate tendrils of her hair shifted over her shoulder, and the sun glowed behind her like a halo. My breath caught.

With surprising strength, she punched me in the shoulder.

“If you ever do something like that again,” she threatened. Red light flickered in her dark eyes, “you will regret it, mate.”

I balked, but not at her threat.

Mate.

She had never called me that—not without an audience to perform for.

Elle realized it too and started. I fumbled for words and fought the pressure in my gums.

Just because she called us that, I told my wolf, does not mean we can bite her right here and now.

My animalistic side disagreed. Above me, Elle stiffened, and I worried she had misinterpreted my silence. I gripped her waist.

“Ellie,” I breathed.

Flashes of light stole her attention, and I growled at the intrusion. As Circe, the other wolves, and Elle’s parents appeared before us, Elle scrambled out of my arms like I was on fire. Though I was relieved to see all of them unharmed, part of me wanted to beg for just a few seconds of privacy.

Mate. The word spun circles in my mind. She called me her mate.

Elle scanned her friends and family carefully, clearly searching for signs of injury. To comfort her, and because I craved an excuse to touch her, I wrapped an arm around her waist.

“We’re fine, Ella-Bella,” Lee assured his daughter and grinned.

“We’re really proud of you,” Imogen said.

“Yeah,” Kieran agreed. “Things got a little shaky there, but you pulled it off.”

“We had no doubts,” Melanie added.

Bo scoffed. “I actually remember hearing your many, many doubts—”

Melanie elbowed him in his side and forced a grin.

“You did well,” Circe said.

At the sound of the witch’s voice, Elle stiffened, and anger rolled off her in waves. I couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t appreciate my loved ones being used as pawns for training either.

But, had it worked?

Was Elle really one with her chimera, at last?

My mate wobbled on her feet, and I realized the question could wait. Each second that her adrenaline faded, her exhaustion became more apparent.

I spoke with an Alpha’s authority. “We’re done here for the day.”

“Very well,” Circe crooned.

The witch flashed us into our room without another word.

Alone in the flickering light of our hearth, I studied my mate and tried to summon the words stuck in my throat.

Even covered in sand, clad in a wrinkled, ripped tunic, she was beautiful.

As she stared into my eyes like she wanted to get lost in them, I yearned to touch her soft skin and the delicate tendrils of her hair.

I wanted to make her mine in every way possible.

“Ellie,” I said in a low, gruff voice. “There’s something—”

A huge yawn escaped her, which she covered with a shaky hand. She shook her head to clear it.

“Sorry,” Elle mumbled and blinked frantically against sleep’s hold. “What were you saying?”

At the reminder of her exhaustion, all that need and wanting abated. I smiled and kissed her hand.

“I was only going to tell you to get some sleep,” I lied.