Page 34 of The Wolf and the Chimera (The Witch and the Cowboy #3)

Elle

As exhaustion and pain weighted my very bones, I wanted to sink into the sand beneath me, but something niggled the back of my mind. I wasn’t alone—something wanted me to get up.

Irritation that wasn’t mine kept me from slipping into unconsciousness. An image of a black wolf danced behind my eyes.

Ryder.

Circe’s challenge rushed back to me, and I stood on shaky legs.

Four shaky legs.

While I dug my paws into the sand, my hind legs stretched and straightened. My wings draped across my shoulders, pulling me left and right. A growl echoed in my mind, and my chimera took over.

Giving into her innate balance and strength, I faced my parents. Their mouths hung agape, but pride shone in their eyes. There was no time to bask in it.

I approached the stone imprints and pressed my paws into them. Heat flared under my touch, and my parents grinned, then disappeared in flashes of light.

The stones shifted under my feet, and magic raised my hackles. Soon, the towering walls of the maze were replaced by total and complete darkness. Cold seeped into my bones and stole the breath from my lungs. I tensed, waiting from an unseen attack, but nothing happened.

The nothingness was overwhelming.

I couldn’t see my own feet or paws or hands or hooves. The cold overtook me so completely, I was formless. I became a mere whisp of chilled air in an endless, dark tundra. I couldn’t feel the ground beneath me. The weight of my solitude and my nothingness was crushing.

My beast rumbled.

Not alone, I thought. I’m never alone.

In the darkness, a creature with glowing red eyes, brilliantly golden and silver fur, and leathery wings approached me. Strength shone in its graceful movements, and death loomed in its huge maw.

My chimera.

Last time I had become the creature, I had shied away from my reflection. Now, with nowhere else to turn, I was forced to face it. Though its eyes glowed red, they didn’t brim with rage.

No, I realized. They’re full of sadness.

As my pity for the creature swelled, it rumbled and crouched.

Fear swept through me, and suddenly, my human body returned.

I stood on an obsidian floor with shaking hands and a hammering hart.

My chimera’s lips pulled back to reveal wickedly long and sharp teeth.

The beast’s gaze had sharpened with predatory focus, and I wondered if I had imagined the creature’s sorrow.

“Please,” I whispered.

The creature lunged for me, and I ran.

Arms pumping at my sides, I dove into the shadows that ensnared us. My beastly form roared so loudly, the ground shook.

Faster, I thought, you have to run faster.

On bare feet, I raced across the cold, unforgiving ground as quickly as I could. Close enough to feel the heat of its breath, my chimera chased me.

I ran and ran and ran, until I crashed into a wall and tumbled into something else entirely. As stillness settled over me, I slipped into the past and viewed the world with murky vision.

No more than a toddler, I sat on the soft sand of a beach with my chubby, little legs sprawled in front of me. Using a tiny plastic shovel and bucket, I forged a castle made of sand. The sun kissed my delicate skin, and a salty breeze ruffled my hair.

A couple feet away, Mom laid on a towel reading. I smiled at the way her blonde hair glimmered in the sunlight, but I wanted to see it better. I wanted to watch how the breeze made the tiny strands dance in the air.

Suddenly, I could.

The world became alive with clarity. Dust motes and salt twirled on the breeze. I studied dozens of shades of blue in Mom’s eyes and laugh lines that framed her mouth. She was so lovely, I clapped.

When her gaze met mine, horror marred her expression.

As she scooped me up and carried me away from the beach, I cried.

“Shh,” she cooed, “you just need another spell, Ella-Bella. We will take care of it, I promise. I promise, honey, we’ll get rid of it.”

Though I barely understood her words, I recognized her intent. Her expression had told me enough. Part of me—that wonderful part that experienced the world with such clarity—was going away again.

I blinked and transported into an older, ganglier version of my human body.

I was twelve years old, and that meant I knew everything, so I didn’t feel bad for sneaking down the stairs of our apartment to spy on my parents’ conversation.

Though we had only lived in the two-story space for a couple weeks, I had catalogued which of the wooden stairs creaked and which did not.

In the dim light, I leaned against the beige banister and strained my ears.

“Her power is still contained,” Dad promised. “You’re worrying too much.”

Mom’s steps padded across the carpet. She only paced when something really bothered her.

“Her animal form can’t emerge,” she said, “not without waking the sorceress too. We must be diligent, Lee. Please, promise me you’ll keep a close eye on her.”

As Dad vowed to watch over me, I hated the fear in Mom’s voice. I hated being the cause of it. Mom was an incredible warrior, and the only thing that made her balk was me.

Before they could catch me sneaking, I raced up the stairs and into my small bedroom.

Flopping onto the bed, I grabbed the Seventeen magazine I had bought earlier from the nightstand.

As I flipped through it, I admired the carefree girls and women photographed across its silky smooth pages.

I lost myself in the silly quizzes and articles, and I wished with all my foolish heart to be like them.

To be human.

Just human.

I had forgotten how beautiful the world could be through my chimera’s eyes. Now, only Mom’s scared voice rang in my ears.

Time shifted again, and I stood in front of a mirror, tugging at the hem of my short, yellow dress.

As I recognized the memory, my stomach churned.

I had slicked my braided hair into a bun atop my head and dabbed gloss on my lips. Every swipe of liner and mascara had made my heart beat faster in my chest.

Dad had been too far away to hear the local boys invite me to the beach party.

I tucked my pendant under my dress and climbed out the window of our motel room.

Just once, I thought, I only want to pretend to be truly human once .

When the party turned out to be just a group of teens awkwardly swaying to music and getting sloppily drunk, I didn’t admit to myself that my great rebellion wasn’t worth the trouble.

No matter how many beers I drank or shots I downed, I didn’t get drunk. Without the liquid courage everyone else enjoyed, I didn’t know how to talk to people my own age.

When I got back to our condo that night, I sobbed with disappointment.

I didn’t notice my pendant was gone until the next day, when we were already back on the yacht. My self-loathing and pity and sorrow had eclipsed everything, including the inkling that I had forgotten something vital.

The world shifted again, and I stared into the ruby eyes of my chimera.

“That was you,” I realized. “You were trying to tell me I had lost the pendant.”

Pressure built in my head, and I gasped in pain. My chimera hissed and snarled and whined.

Let me in, the beast seemed to beg.

With an exhale, I did.

Memories flashed through my mind, of being trapped and shoved and caged. Before I could ever fully manifest, a spell washed over me, cutting me off from half of myself and forcing me into darkness.

Endless, mind-numbing darkness.

This is what it was like for my chimera, I realized, to be spelled and stifled for all those years.

As I was thrust back into the memories of my chimera, tears slipped down my face. Murky images of the world flashed by, and I recognized them from childhood.

My chimera was with me , I realized, watching the world through my eyes.

As time went on, however, the memories became more and more hazy. The shadows that caged me pressed closer. They smelled like hatred and fear and pity .

They were even worse than the spells that kept me contained, and for years, I slept to escape them. I didn’t try to fight the magic that confined me to the girl’s body, nor did I stir when the sorceress whispered wicked things.

But then, a face appeared, and suddenly, the world was bright again.

Ryder’s amber eyes caught the glorious sunlight and burned with possessiveness as they met mine. Though the girl loathed me, he didn’t. He wanted me, and he was mine.

I had never been wanted.

Over and over, I fought to get to him—to claim him—but my human counterpart kept me in my cage of despair and contempt. She didn’t fight to lift the spell that bound me to the darkness.

When the pale-haired witch confined us all to eternal rest, part of me relished.

At least now the girl will know my pain, I had thought, and so will the invader.

Though I never spoke to the sorceress, I sensed her stewing consciousness.

Then, he was there. Again. And stretching my four legs after so long in the endless oblivion had been a balm to my soul. I had loathed the sorceress’s presence, but at least I had gotten to roar and run and rage.

When we emerged through the ripple, I had only wanted to escape the basement of that hunter’s lair—to feel the kiss of wind on my wings. In all the years of wretched darkness, I had never experienced such a thing.

The girl had let them confine me before I could.

She had been grateful for the spell, just like she had been grateful when that werewolf drained me of my power. She didn’t care if I had to perish to contain the sorceress.

She wanted to be human.

Fine, I decided, then she can die like a human .

I decided I hadn’t very much liked life, and that I was ready for it to end—that when she called on me, when she finally needed my strength, I would withhold it from her. From us.

Her rage at the Minotaur’s challenge, and the smugness in his face had cracked my control. When the girl worried for Ryder, it had pushed me over the edge. I hadn’t wanted him to watch me die, but I wouldn’t help her again. After so many centuries in the darkness, I couldn’t.

She had left me alone and unloved and caged. Though my people could pass down memories, I had forgotten what it meant to be a chimera.

I didn’t want to learn.

She was me and I was her, but I hated the girl for hating me. I hated her for locking me up and forsaking me—for blaming me for the sorceress who hounded us both.

That hatred had broken me in a way that couldn’t be fixed.

Upon that realization, I tumbled out of my chimera’s consciousness. I fellinto my own body with a gasp and touched my tear-stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Sobs wrenched out of my raw throat. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I reached out to the beast—no, not a beast but a chimera— and waited. She studied me for an endless moment.

“I thought I was better,” I said, “I thought I hadn’t let hate rot my heart, but…but I just turned it on you. On us. And I’m sorry.”

Hesitantly, my chimera rubbed her head against my palm. Her golden fur was soft against my skin. As we touched, a connection formed between us. Her awareness and mine merged. I sensed the softness of her fur and the warmth of my palm at once.

“Wow,” I whispered.

My chimera purred, but I sensed her agreement as much as I heard it.

As we stood there, surrounded by sorrow, the truth of our situation struck me. All this time, I had hated her—part of myself—and it had only bred more hatred. After surviving a hunted existence, I had thought myself unlovable, and my chimera had grown to believe the same.

She wasn’t just my animal form, but my reflection.

Suddenly, her serpentine tail didn’t seem so monstrous, and her hooves didn’t look so strange. She wasn’t a freak of nature, but a force to be reckoned with.

And she wasn’t prey. She was a predator. She was a creature fearsome enough to ignite the sun. She was powerful enough not only to protect herself, but also her pack.

We both were.

“I promise,” I whispered, “no more cages. No matter what.”

As my chimera pulled back to meet my gaze, magic warmed my skin, and light flared. The world became awash with yellow and orange and red. Warmth filled my heart, and something jagged smoothed in my soul.

Together, I realized. We’re finally all put back together.

Through the darkness, we had found the light.

In my mind, my chimera rumbled.

When the light finally receded, I stood on lush green grass. For miles, the swaying fields sprawled around me, interspersed only by trees and a distant pool of water. The sun reflected in its blue depths and mirrored the cloudless sky above.

Amid the earthen smells, Ryder’s scent hit me like a ton of bricks—woodsy and fresh and mine.

Ours.

With the sharp eyes of my chimera, I spotted him easily. He laid on a shorter patch of grass near the water. His face was a mask of serenity.

Letting my chimera guide the shift, I transformed into my animal form with a brief flash of pain and tearing of flesh.

I flexed the many muscles of the foreign form and raced to him.

As I ran across the field, my claws dug into the earth, and my hooves pounded like thunderclaps.

With my chimera’s instincts, I tucked my wings close to my body and raced even faster.

The wind whished past me, and soon, I reached him.

My breathing wasn’t even ragged.

With a tug of will and a flash of pain, I shifted into my human form and knelt at my mate’s side. Gently, I brushed a dark strand of hair off his face.

“Ryder,” I whispered. “Ryder, I found you.”

He didn’t stir.

Panic thudded in my heart. As soon as I had found them, everyone else had flashed back to Circe, yet here Ryder was, still before me, completely unconscious.

How much time had passed?

With my chimera’s eyes, I searched my surroundings for the countdown but found only luscious planes. They weren’t as beautiful as they had been only moments before.

After all I had faced, was I too late?

Had I failed?