Page 61

Doubt bars around me , tightens around my throat. He says that now . I suck in a deep breath and then another and another, feeling the weight, the warmth of his hands on me, wondering if it will be the last time. The dāemon’s pulse grows calmer.

“I told you when I was eleven, I fell from a great height.” The words come out in a jumbled rush, and I suck in another breath, hand sliding to the dāemon’s blight on my chest in an attempt to calm my racing heart, racing mind, racing dāemon, racing words. “I fell because something hit me here. When I woke up, I was—“

“Well, isn’t this sweet?”

We both jump, and Sitri’s hands quickly drop from my face as he steps back.

Valik.

Sitri draws a series of motions to remove the sound wards he placed around us.

“Fuck off, Valik,” he snarls once they’ve dropped.

“What could be so important you didn’t want anyone to overhear your tender moment? Did the Blood of the Gods bind after all? Or are you just trying to one up your father with a nought cunt instead of a low-born cunt?”

There’s no warning. The movements are too fast. I don’t even know what’s happening until after it’s already done. Sitri moving forward, swinging, punching Valik right in the jaw. The violent crack of bone hitting bone.

Valik’s face swings to the side as he startles back. He clutches a hand to his jaw, looking just as startled as I am. He spits and then laughs as he glances back and forth between us.

“Holy shit. It really did bind, didn’t it? I think Morin will be very interested to hear about this.”

Sitri’s chest heaves beside me. When he starts to move forward again I clutch at his arm. “Don’t Sitri, he’s not worth it.”

He jerks his arm out of my grip. “Be a good pet and stand over there,” he snaps. My lips part. “Now.”

I clamp my mouth shut and retreat to the area beside the tree he’s gestured to, face flaming. I know it’s an act. It’s not real but I still can’t help myself from reacting to it.

I watch heart quickening as Sitri advances on Valik, hands clenched at his sides. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in handling Valik with magic at the moment but rather his fists. But Valik steps back, hands raised in surrender like the coward he is.

“I just came to tell you Morin would like a word, Nightshade.”

Sitri stiffens. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was the sound ward that piqued her curiosity. But chop chop, better not keep her waiting.” Sitri spares a glance back at me and swears. “Oh, this is a conundrum, isn’t it? Don’t want to take your pet to the Queen, do you Nightshade? Your pet might even hear some things about you that you don’t want her to know. Don’t worry--I’ll be a pal and watch your nought for you.” Sitri’s already turning around and walking back to me. “As long as you don’t mind me getting my dick a little wet.”

Sitri’s eyes are cold, vacant but I see that rage spark in him as he stiffens, fingers twitching and jaw flexing. I shake my head. Just let it be. Valik raises his hand and draws a spell. Whatever force was meant for Sitri is blasted back by an invisible shield, but I can feel the aftershocks move through the air. Sitri's fingers move quickly as he lets out a voiceless snarl. Valik’s too slow, rather, and I let out a gasp as he soars, smacks right into the tree, and crumples to the ground.

“Come, pet,” he snaps as he saunters past me. I totter after him just as Valik’s picking himself off the ground.

“Wait until Morin hears about this,” he calls after us.

“Yeah, please do go fucking cry to her about it, Valik. I’m sure it’ll go really well for you.”

We emerge from the Wood, and Sitri begins weaving us through the crowd. I see his hand moving at his side, and his voice appears in my head seconds later. D on’t fucking speak, pet.

“Okay.”

Stay out of the way. Try to stay unnoticed. For the love of the Gods no attitude.

“I said okay!” I snap, still reaming from his sudden shift.

He rolls his shoulders and sneaks the shortest glimpse at me. Sorry. I’m just-- I really thought we could make it through this one without drama.

I spy Morin through the bodies and quickly avert my eyes. Sitri suddenly stops as someone flings themselves out in front of him.

“Sitri!” Sitri’s aunt, Delyah, palms at his chest. “I need to speak with you.”

“Delyah, it’s really not a good time...”

“It’s important. I have seen something in the flames.”

Sitri sighs like whatever Delyah’s seen in the flames is seriously the least of his concerns. “I have to speak with Morin right now. I suppose I could find you after…” He looks down at me. “Wait, Delyah, could you watch Pa—Syra for me?”

She starts to shake her head, her eyes widening as her gaze darts over me.

“Please? Only for a few minutes?”

Her lips part as she considers it, and then she nods vigorously. “O-of course. I’ll watch her for you.”

“Thank you. I won’t be long. But do watch out for Valik. Though I imagine you could take him, mask off.”

Sitri looks down at me, and I open my mouth to object.

“You’re in good hands,” he promises. “I’ll find you as soon as I’m done.” He gestures to the Mark on his wrist with a pointed look. A reminder. He can find me. He can sense my fear. “I would come immediately.” I nod reluctantly. And then his back is disappearing into the crowd. My stomach still sinks to watch him go.

I was so close to telling him…

Not sure if I’m going to be able to muster up the courage again now the moment’s gone.

I bring my attention back to Delyah, who shifts nervously from foot to foot, her eyes darting through the crowd. So different from the bubbly woman I met last time. Her face is pale, a sheen of sweat glinting from the nearby firelight. “It’s good to see you again,” I say awkwardly, still internally reeling from the confrontation with Valik.

She looks behind her and back to me. “Yes, dear. Why don’t we get out of sight?”

I agree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. Get out of sight before Valik inevitably shows up. I follow closely behind her through the crowd. She leads us toward the Wood, but thankfully not in the same direction we departed from Valik. I sneak a last glimpse over the crowd, searching for Valik…Sitri or Morin, but I don’t see them and hurriedly jog to catch up with Delyah as she leads me past the curtain of trees.

She takes me further into the Woods than Sitri and I trekked. The hair on the back of my neck prickles as the light dims. I wrack my brain for something I can small talk with her about when she finally stops and turns back.

The look on her face spikes a pulse of fear through me, but I’m not sure why. She takes a step forward. “You should know I don’t want to do this.”

I take a step back. “Do what?”

“But I have seen what you really are.” She lifts her hands.

“I don’t know what you’re—“ My words cut off abruptly as her magic cinches around my neck and tightens around my throat like a noose. My eyes widen. I don’t understand. I shake my head vigorously, but she simply watches, hands raised.

I claw at my throat, but it doesn’t loosen. I can’t get a breath in. I can’t get a breath out. I try to make a sound, but it only pulses pressure through my head.

She’s going to kill me.

My heart drills forward like a drum. Sitri . He’ll feel it.

I take several paces back before my feet lock to the ground. He’ll never make it in time.

But she was the only one that was kind to me here. How can she? The dāemon barrels with my growing panic. I fold over with the sheer pain of it as it barrels harder and harder and my vision starts to darken.

Darker, darker.

Only vaguely aware of a sound in the distance. Footsteps slapping the ground as someone runs. Something slams into the side of me and forces my head up. Sitri . But he doesn’t understand what’s going on. I claw at my throat. He flings his hand, and all at once, the magic lets off. I suck in a wheezing gasp, bowling over again as I cough and choke.

“Delyah, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing?” He sounds angry and appalled and so damn disappointed all at the same time, and she shrieks .

I cough so violently I vomit. Bile competes with my convulsing lungs, and I suck some in and choke some more. A whimper spills out of me as the dāemon continues erupting.

“You don’t understand, Sitri. She’s not what you think she is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it. She will destroy us. She’s sent her here. She will decimate this place,” she screeches.

“You are out of your fucking mind. Pandora.”

I lift my head, still leaning against my knees. Sitri has Delyah’s hands pulled behind her back, but she bucks and thrashes wildly.

I wipe at my mouth, hazy with the lack of air and the dāemon pelting through me. I let out a strangled groan. It’s going to come out. It needs to release. I need to get out of here.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Pan.”

I take a step back. Stumble. Gotta get out of here before…the dāemon…

I back up, and the dāemon pierces so sharply for a split second my limbs contort and freeze in their positions. “Listen to me Sitri. She’s not a nought. She’s—“ It barrels out of me, and I bowl forward with a grunt with the pure force of it.

One moment, Sitri’s holding back a bucking Delyah, and the next, she’s gone. Vanished. Raindrops splatter against the ground, against my arms. A couple quick thumps of something heavier. Sitri pulls his blood-drenched hands out from where they were wrapped around Delyah, mouth falling open in shock. An expression I’ve never seen him wear quite like that before.

A thwacking sound of something else hitting the ground. Legs and the severed stump of an upper abdomen, the bloody entrails spilling out.

The front of Sitri’s shirt splattered in blood. So much blood.

I look down. Not raindrops. Splatters of blood. I suck in a sharp breath, my own blood-speckled hands coming up to my mouth.

This isn’t real. I shake my head, sucking in a shrieking gasp. Back and forth. Back and forth. This isn’t real.

My emotions thicken, and the dāemon responds. A chain reaction. It spills out of me, folding me in half with a whimper. Cracks like lightning against the tree right behind Sitri’s head. Placing a deep chip in the bark.

His head whips around and back, still wearing that stunned expression.

“No, I…” A sob bubbles up. I almost hit him. I’ll kill him too. Another sob. He lifts his hands, and I turn on my heel and run as fast as I can.

I killed her. This isn’t real. I killed her.

My limbs freeze, stiffen up like a board, and my body buckles. I slap to the ground, face first. The blow dazes me as my body rolls. I finally come to a still upright on my back, gasping.

When my vision returns, I find Sitri hovering over me. He prods me with his boot. “You’re not a nought,” he spits.

He bends over me, grips my jaw, and my heart drops, but I can’t move. Can’t evade him. Can’t stop this.

He squeezes me, jerks my head to face him, and stares at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time. “You were never a fucking nought.”

“Don’t—“ I gasp out. “Please. Let me go. I’ll hurt you. I’ll kill you too. I’ll kill you!”

He exhales a sharp breath through his nostrils and cocks his head. “Will you? Good fucking luck with that pet.”

“No, I don’t—“

He clamps a hand over my mouth, muffling my sobs. He turns his head, body tensing. I hear it too. The sound of footsteps in the distance.

The dāemon killed someone. I killed someone. I killed Sitri’s aunt. I’m dangerous. My sobs turn into a shrill squeal deep in my chest.

“Shut up,” he hisses.

I’m powerless against the wracking sobs. When I don’t obey, he dips a hand under my chin. “Sleep.”

The world goes black.