Page 10

Her body goes limp in my hands, and I lay her back against my chest, relieved when her breaths turn slow and even. A significant improvement to the horrifying choking sound she was making seconds before.

I wrap one arm around her to keep her steady as I grab the reins with my other hand and urge Epona to full speed, knowing the sounds of the mylings' cries will bring other much more monstrous creatures than the mylings themselves.

This is precisely what I was trying to avoid. I knew she wouldn’t react well to the things out here after living in the safety behind the Wall her entire life, yet I didn’t know she would react quite like this .

The mylings are terrifying to see in person. I’m surprised she hadn’t tried to run even sooner. Her head starts to loll forward. She’s probably going to wake up with a kink in her neck. I turn my head sharply to the side. Not my problem. What am I supposed to do? Hold her head up the entire way? I am the one that forced her to sleep…

Gods fucking damn it. I place a palm under her jaw to straighten her with a low growl. I want to hate her . It’s not easy with her body, warm and small and nestled against me. The heat of her skin emanating into my palm. Cute and curious, highly suspicious. Maybe a bit of an over-reactor. Or a lot of an over-reactor.

She might be fully grown, but she’s still like a child in both her innocence and ignorance of the world. I feel this strange obligation to protect that innocence. Keep it whole. That’s what really grates on me. I didn’t want this responsibility shirked on me. Dropped in my lap like a new fucking puppy. A pet. I snort.

I barely have time to take care of myself with what Morin puts on my plate. How in the hell am I going to take care of a whole other person? I already know she’s going to be asking too many questions, giving me grief, and making me feel… bad for her. She’s already fucking making me feel bad for her. The worst part is she’s pretty . And pretty girls have ways of making me bend to them.

Thankfully, she stays asleep for a good portion of the trip. The scenery changes as we emerge into the Shadow Wood, and I pray she continues to sleep. She had gotten so spooked by the mylings she tried to run. Mistakes like that are a huge liability to both of us, especially with the things that lurk in this place.

The unmistakable howl of a shadow wolf jolts me from my thoughts. Shit. That’s the last thing I want to run into with her with me. Every muscle in my body tightens. Shadow wolves have impeccable hearing. If I force Epona into a gallop, I’ll likely lure them into a chase. If we can remain unnoticed while they pass by, that’s our best option.

I slow Epona to a still and draw the symbols to throw a few wards around us, but something about my magic feels…off. The wards aren’t taking. My magic isn’t cooperating. It’s the same as earlier when I’d tried to stop her from running. It’s almost as if I’m close to overexertion, and I am tired after clomping around with Morin and her Masks for the last few weeks, however I shouldn’t be anywhere close to depletion. Maybe I’m more tired than I thought. Or becoming even more dependent on the ichor than I realized.

Moving carefully so as not to wake the nought, I grope at the pockets of my cloak, searching for the vial. Closing around it, I pull it from my cloak, uncork it with my teeth, tug up my sleeve, and jump as the sound of a shadow wolf calls closer this time. I fumble the vial—and drop it.

It lands on the ground with a dull thud, inky black liquid streaming across the leaves. Fuck. That’s all the ichor I have left, and I can’t even retrieve what’s left of it without waking the nought. Another howl. Closer this time. Too fucking close.

As if on cue, the nought begins to stir with a soft moan. I clamp a hand over her mouth. It’s the wrong move. She jerks frantically, trying to escape me with a muffled wail.

I lean forward to whisper in her ear. “Shh. Don’t panic. But I need you to be quiet right now because it’s not safe.” That gets her to still, her body tense against mine. I really need that ichor.

“I’m going to let you go now, but you can’t make any noise.” A long moment passes before she nods against my palm. Another shadow wolf calls. Further away this time, and I blow out a breath. Maybe we’re going to get out of this after all. And then…she starts to cry. That first shudder of her chest, and I already know—we’re fucked. I mutter a curse under my breath.

Still seeking to extinguish the fire, I draw her back to me and clamp my hand over her mouth again, her tears wetting my fingers. “You can cry later,” I whisper, trying my damnedest to sound gentle despite the irritation boiling under the surface. “But. Not. Right. Now.” I squeeze her tighter under my hand in an attempt to make her understand the urgency of the situation. “You have to stay silent,” I whisper.

Not even two seconds after she makes this awful, careening, squeaking wail like her chest is being ripped into two. Welp, that’s enough to do it.

There’s one howl. I snatch my head in the direction of the sound. Two howls. This time, in the opposite direction. Three . Four . I lose track of them as the sound of scurrying nears us, and the howls are overtaken by snarling. The trees around us darken until we’re completely eclipsed by shadows. There’s only a few feet of visibility left of the path in front of us and behind us.

Within seconds, they’re prowling toward us, bringing the shadows with them so you can barely make out the outline of their hunched backs and muscled forelegs. Only their eyes, red as blood, are visible, emitting a lurid glow. That’s what finally gets her to stop crying. Now she has a reason to cry. I don’t move, barely even breathing as the one in the front paws into the clearing and comes to a still.

I keep my hand pressed tightly over her mouth in a silent warning not to speak. “Don’t. Move,” I whisper.

My body tenses as the one in the front takes another step forward with a low snarl. There’s only four of them. Probably more to follow. They usually travel in packs of no less than nine. I wait for them to make the first move.

I’ll have to lead them away from Epona and the nought to deal with them. If I throw a flame ward up around the two, that should be enough to keep the shadow wolves at bay. That’s my best bet at getting us all out of this safely. If I can get my magic to cooperate….

Epona, who’s been doing so well, finally startles, staggering back and bucking us lightly. I pull tight on her reins, urging her back to a still as the shadow wolf in front emits another low growl, lip snapping back to reveal the glow of jagged canines amidst the shadows. He takes a few more cautious steps forward, bringing the shadows with him. We’re completely obscured in darkness now outside of the red glow of their eyes.

The nought sucks in a sharp breath. And I glide my thumb down her jaw to signal to her it’s okay...I’ll make do with this, somehow. I can hear the shadow wolf sniffing at us. I start to push her forward so I can dismount when the shadows suddenly dissipate as he turns on his haunches and creeps back into the woods. He and the other three behind him exit as quietly as they slunk in.

Impossible.

I’m so shocked I don’t move for a solid two minutes, waiting for them to re-emerge. Shadow wolves never back down from a fight—they’re wildly territorial, insanely predatory, and will kill even if they don’t have the hunger to do so.

Once it’s clear they’re not going to return, I let out a slow exhale and drop my hand from her mouth, dragging it over my face when she immediately starts crying again. So, she is capable of turning that off and on when it suits her. Climbing down to retrieve the bottle of ichor, a curse slips from my lips when I find all the liquids drained from the bottle and saturated into the leaves.

Mounting behind her I urge Epona into a crawl, still leery that increasing our speed will entice them after us again. “You need to be quiet so we don’t alert other predators.” In her defense, her crying turns into quiet sniveling but even the sound of that slowly drives me to madness. And I have basically no ichor. This is going to be a long fucking trip.

When I’m certain I can’t handle one more sniffle, I lay a hand gently against her shoulder. “Hey,” I say, careful to keep my voice smooth and calm despite the storm brewing under the surface.

She wrenches her shoulder away. “Don’t touch me,” she snarls.

I yank my hand back, fingers clenching into a fist. “Are you… upset with me ?” I ask, completely vexed as to why she would be, though it’s quite clear at this point that, yes, she is .

She lets out a laugh, bordering on maniacal.

“Look, I’m sorry if I seemed rude, but I was trying to keep us out of a dire situation. That could’ve easily gone so much worse.”

She starts to sob again, and I shake my head in exasperation. She was literally…fine earlier? “What is wrong with you ?”

“What’s…wrong…with…me?” She asks incredulously between sobs.

“Yeah…I mean, you were fine earlier?”

She snorts. “Oh, nothing. I’ve just been traded to a literal witch to do whatever he wants with me…” My eyes widen as more words emit from her lips that turn to gibberish with the force of her sobs.

“I’m not going to do whatever I want—I mean, I don’t want.” Frustration growing, I let out a growl. “For Gods' sake, I don’t want you, nought.”

“Then, k-keep your magic off of me!”

My eyes narrow. “You’re upset…because I put you to sleep?”

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me—but you don’t get to just do whatever you please. Keep your hands off-of-me,” she spits.

Wait…does she think I’ve done something to her while she was asleep? “I only did that because you were freaking out.”

She makes a choked sound, and my irritation plumes like a billowing cloud.

“You were hardly breathing. And my hands weren’t even on you. Well, I mean technically they were—“

She makes another condemning sound.

“But that—it was only because I was worried you’d get a kink in your neck. They were only on your…face.”

“Why am I here?”

A good question but one I have no intention of answering honestly, especially in her current hysterical state. “What else was I supposed to do with you? Look, if you had pissed by the horse like I asked you to, none of that would’ve even happened.”

“You’re insane.”

“Listen, nought,” I snap. “If you want to survive this place, I need you to listen to me. You’re not in Eden anymore. This isn’t a good place for little noughts like you. I’m afraid to say Samore isn’t going to be kind to you either. I need you to trust me.”

She lets out a snort that doesn’t quite land like she wants it to between her hiccuping.

“Or at the very least, mind me ,” I say voice growing more stern. “If I say piss by the horse, then just piss by the fucking horse. If I say let’s go, that means now . If I say be quiet, then you best believe it’s for a good reason. Don’t fight me because you’re queen modesty or the sacred virgin or what the fuck ever. I really don’t give a shit. You’re not that any longer. You’re just a nought in a world that despises noughts. You are naive,” I growl. “You know nothing of the world outside the Wall.”

“I know you’re just as awful, horrible, and evil as everything I’ve been taught.” Her voice quavers and gains stability with her ire. “Maybe even worse. I finally understand why my ancestors spent so many years building the Wall to get away from you all.”

My magic, which had been waning, oscillates inside of me, coiling to strike with the extent of my anger. The only reason I even brought her with me was out of kindness. No, pity . So the Masks or her father didn’t do Gods know what. “Your Wall is a curse upon our land,” I hiss. “And, you noughts are just as ignorant as everything they say about you.”

“Well, at least I’m not a—“

“A what? A witch?” I ask facetiously, lifting a hand to twiddle my fingers, amused when she shrinks away.

“A monster!”

“Oh, please.”

“ And a murderer.”

My body feels like it’s been dipped in cold water. My fingers tremble slightly before I clench them tight around the reins. “And how would you know that?”

“Are you… actually insane?”

As if she can sense it, can see right through me to my blackened soul. I stiffen, jaw flexing.

“What? That bothers you? To be called that? Murderer ?”

“I know what I am, nought.”

“You disgust me.”

Blowing out a breath, a strange calm overtakes me as my anger soars to a dangerous level. I lean down close to her ear. “You know what? I’m glad we’re getting this out of the way. No need to hem-haw around with false pretenses. Let’s not pretend to be cordial. We don’t have to like each other. I promise you, whatever it is you’re thinking I am, whatever you’ve imagined, I’m much fucking worse,” I snap, satisfaction sailing when I hear her quiet intake of breath.

“But you best get over it, nought, because we are forever bound. I’m all you’ve fucking got now. You should be grateful you have someone as deadly as me around, a murderer in the place you’re going to.”

Those words seem to shut her up for good, but my mind still roars viciously. I need the ichor. I’m desperate enough to try at whatever is left, forced to do so in front of her. Whatever. It’s not as if she’ll have any idea what it is.

I wrench my sleeve up to reveal the fading mark and slash the symbol there before adeptly dispersing the pooling blood. Even that small amount of magic feels abnormally taxing. She sucks in an audible breath, yet says nothing. Dabbing the vial against the mark, I tap it several times only to get two single drops out. I relish the sting as the liquid is drawn to the slashes in my skin and simmers into the pattern.

That single trace of bliss washes my fury away. It lasts only seconds, and then my irritation is bridling again with an annoying mixture of…guilt. Was I too harsh? No, I need her to listen to me, and if I have to scare her to do so, so be it.