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Chapter Sixty-Four

C lover hadn’t wanted to come to Pets and Scritches tonight. The truth was that she didn’t really want to do much of anything. But she was an adult, and she had commitments. This wasn’t the first bout of emotional turmoil she’d experienced. It probably wouldn’t be the last either. At least she got to play with the kittens.

Lychee had learned to purr. For such a tiny thing, she was as loud as a chainsaw.

“Do you think her eyes will stay blue?” Clover asked Orion, who was waving a feather around while an orange tabby chased it.

“We’ll know in a couple of months,” he said.

Clover frowned. “Hopefully, she’ll have a home by then.”

Orion glanced over at her. “You seem awfully attached already. Why don’t you adopt her?”

Clover smiled sadly. “I’d love to, but I don’t think now is the right time…”

“Well, it wouldn’t be right now anyway. We don’t let kittens get adopted until eight weeks.”

Clover jumped as the sound of tires squealing on the street startled her. Her flinch surprised Lychee, who dug her claws into Clover’s chest. Clover winced, then gently unhooked Lychee from her shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Orion asked, keeping his eyes on his playmate.

“About what?” Clover responded, soothing Lychee with gentle strokes.

“About whatever it is that’s making your face look like that.”

Clover frowned. She’d thought she was doing better today. But it seemed that even without knowing her very well, Orion could tell something was wrong.

“Did you talk it out with your husband like you said you would?”

Clover leaned against the wall and slowly slid down to sit on the floor, Lychee still purring against her chest. “Yeah, we talked. Well, I figured out what was going on at least.”

Orion frowned. “Your tone doesn’t sound like you worked things out.”

Clover didn’t really want to talk about it. Talking about it with Orion wouldn’t make her feel better nor bring her closer to a decision. After all, even Ari couldn’t do that, and she knew the whole story. Orion didn’t know about the factions or why she’d married Whit in the first place. But he did seem concerned about her, and he’d lent her an ear last time. It was only natural that he would ask for a follow-up.

“I don’t think my husband loves me,” she said softly. In fact, she knew Whit didn’t love her, but phrasing it this way would make more sense to an ordinary’s mind.

“So first you think he’s not attracted to you, and now you think he doesn’t love you? Is he broken? Why would he marry you?”

Clover couldn’t tell him that. “I was wrong about him not being attracted to me. I think this is the crux of the issue.”

“Could it be that you’re being a little too sensitive? I mean, what’s the likelihood he would marry you if he didn’t love you?”

This conversation was going nowhere. Orion didn’t have all the facts to develop an informed perspective.

“Supposing he did, though. Supposing he had a reason to marry me other than love,” Clover said.

Orion sighed and sat down on the floor, facing Clover. His blue eyes bored into hers, searching for something—what, she couldn’t say.

“You’re making this difficult for me,” he replied after a few moments.

She blinked. She knew she hadn’t given him all the information, but surely, she’d given him enough to speculate.

“There’s no excuse for making you feel unloved, Clover. It’s normal to argue and disagree in a relationship. But there needs to be trust. And both people need to have confidence that the other person loves them in order to weather any challenges. If he makes you feel that way, then you shouldn’t be with him.”

Orion’s words plucked at the strings of Clover’s heart—ringing true in the worst possible way. A month ago, if her friend had come to her with the same problem, she would have given the same advice.

But now, it didn’t seem so clear. A month ago, she wasn’t in love. A month ago, she wasn’t married. And that wasn’t even mentioning the fact that she’d agreed to the marriage already knowing her husband didn’t love her. Was there really no hope that he would one day feel the same?

Tears blurred her vision.

“Hey,” Orion murmured gently, crawling across the floor to sit beside her.

She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder as she swallowed her tears.

“It’s not the end of the world,” he assured. “Even if this one idiot doesn’t love you, you’ll be all right. You’re special, Clover. I knew it right away. You’re beautiful and bright. I can’t help but be drawn to your warmth… The point is…you’re more than worthy of love. And anyone you’re willing to give a chance is lucky to have it. I know a whole bunch of guys who would line up just for a single date with you…” Orion tenderly placed his hand over Clover’s on the floor between them. “Including me.”

A jolt of panic ran up Clover’s arm. Orion wasn’t a bad guy. He was kind, attentive, and more than just attractive. But he wasn’t who she wanted holding her hand right now.

She slowly slipped her hand out from under his, using it to stroke the sleeping kitten in her arms. Sitting up straight, she smiled sadly at Orion. “Thank you,” she said.

As expected, Orion picked up on her gentle rejection. Returning her sad smile, he bowed his head and nodded.

“Well,” he said, huffing a soft sigh through his nose. “I hope it works out for you. I’d hate to think I lost to a lesser man.”

Gods of summer, Clover called out in her mind. Please bless this ordinary with a love who will appreciate him.

Bumping her friend with her shoulder, Clover smiled over at him. “I have faith you won’t be lost for long.”