Page 12 of The Winter of Our Discontent (Pride and Prejudice Variations #1)
The bear kept to his room for three days together.
He was not well, but I gathered he was not too ill to attend to whatever he considered his responsibilities.
Throughout the day, various persons walked the long hall to and from his private apartments carrying packets, rolled maps, and cases of paper.
I was sincerely grateful he was occupied and sequestered in his room because I had a great deal to learn about his house.
The morning following my arrival, I sat down with Mrs Reynolds and Miss Darcy for tea.
The housekeeper looked faintly shocked by this exceptional breach in protocol, but I did not intend Pemberley to remain such a formal house, and I thought to announce as much to everyone by this gesture.
I asked many questions, and I listened carefully.
At the end of our conference, I proposed that since wedding visits from the neighbours would be necessarily curtailed by Mr Darcy’s indisposition—as would our appearance at church on Sunday—I would make use of my time by travelling on Monday to the dressmaker in Derby as well as in becoming acquainted with the house and its workings.
I took a quarter of an hour to write a note to Mr Darcy, informing him of my plan. His reply came directly on the heels of my dispatch .
Madam—
Do as you wish so long as you do not turn this house on its head, spend more than is already spent, inconvenience me, or distress my sister.
FWD
“Is aught amiss, ma’am?” Wilson asked, no doubt having seen my eyes widen in disbelief at my husband’s incivility.
“Not in the least. Shall we go? Have you everything we need for this expedition? I place myself in your hands. Do not swamp me in a tower of flounces, and I will be delighted with whatever you suggest.”
Miss Darcy and Mrs Annesley accompanied us to Derby.
They made gentle attempts to become acquainted, but since both ladies were extremely well bred, they refrained from asking intrusive questions.
I enquired after the neighbourhood, the church where they worshipped, the rector, the estate, and the usual tempo of daily living.
What I heard woven throughout their replies was this: excepting the ducal seat, Pemberley was the premier estate in the county.
Mr Darcy was well-known for his enlightened management of the land, he was considered fair in all his dealings, respected uniformly by seemingly everyone, and admired by many for his devotion to duty, attention to detail, and for his reserve.
I could not help but shudder, albeit inwardly, upon hearing Mr Darcy was a serious, careful man without a frivolous bone in his body.
He was the least likely man in the world to be caught in a compromising circumstance!
I recalled the useless frivolity of my mother and two youngest sisters, and I thought of my own father’s lack of what Mr Darcy possessed—a sense of responsibility to those who looked to him for support and guidance.
My reflections filled me with dismay. The single comfort in Miss Darcy’s disclosures was that apparently, my husband was reserved.
No one would expect him to show feelings of affection towards me in public, and I would be the subject of a little less speculation, or so I hoped, when subjected to his frigid formality.
The dressmaker would send me a bill in the usual manner, but in my head I kept a running account, for I had no wish to begin my life as Mrs Darcy burdened by any form of indebtedness.
Thus, my seventy-five pounds were sacrificed save five, which I held back for contingency.
This amount was more than sufficient to see me to my aunt and uncle Gardiner in London should I feel compelled to escape.
I would not run away, I knew, but I liked to believe I could.
One ball gown, three day-dresses, two dinner dresses and one walking dress were ordered with all their attendant trappings and undergarments.
Gloves, slippers, bonnets, shawls and a cloak left me with just enough to stop at the booksellers, where I bought a diary and a well-used volume of the musings of an Irish poet named Thomas Moore.
I had not intended to select poetry. I did not think that soulful odes were helpful in my current circumstances. But after having flipped open a slim volume out of curiosity, I read a few lines.
The heart, like a tendril, accustom'd to cling ,
Let it grow where it will, cannot flourish alone,
But will lean to the nearest and loveliest thing
It can twine with itself, and make closely its own.
I decided to buy it.
“Are you a great reader, Mrs Darcy?” Mrs Annesley asked.
“I love to read, however, I would not consider myself a great reader. My father is, and perhaps my enjoyment of books is my inheritance from him.”
“My brother is also a great reader,” Miss Darcy said.
Her shyness was, I noted, receding somewhat, and sensing an opportunity, I enticed her into conversation. We fell to speaking of our interests and daily pursuits, and I made up my mind to poke the bear the following morning with yet another note.
Sir –
Harrison has been to Lambton to see the vicar to whom he made it known that you were recovering from a mild indisposition and suggested that wedding visits would be better received next week.
I comprehend your natural preference for privacy, however, these visits must be endured, and your availability must be discussed between us.
If you are unequal to the pretence of appearing at my side, we should agree upon some matter that calls you away.
Your sister has invited me to sit with her when her music master comes.
I have gone a step further and asked to participate in this regular instruction.
Miss Darcy has also suggested the stablemaster select a mild-tempered horse for me as my riding skills are not yet even rudimentary.
I believe riding is one of her dedicated pursuits, and she begs me to accompany her.
I will make enquiries with regard to someone who can assist me to ultimately manage a ‘proper horse’, as your sister so charmingly puts it.
In order to finance the additional lessons, the acquisition of my own saddle &c.
, I have proposed that the position vacated a week ago by one of the kitchen maids not be filled with a replacement.
Mrs Reynolds has supported this economy, and though my expenses cannot be expected to be immediately mitigated by this reduction, they should be covered in due time.
I am a persistent reader and am told of your own love of books.
This, I believe, must somehow be presented as the believable foundation for our understanding and subsequent marriage.
If you are agreeable, I suggest we meet in the library an hour before tea is served every afternoon with the caveat that one or the other of us may not always be at liberty to keep these regular appointments.
Lastly, I would like to meet your steward. My intention is to ask him to introduce me to your tenants and educate me regarding your estate, unless you wish to perform this office yourself.
I await your recommendations with regard to all I have herein suggested in order for our cohabitation, as you so aptly described it, to continue unremarked.
EMD