Page 31

31

EVIE

M um and I wait for hours. I've never seen her this worried, though from what I can tell, they've done a really great job of hiding Da's entire world from me my entire life. I coax her into the house, make a kettle of hot water for tea. She tells me of other times like this, before Lochlan's brother took over as the head of their organization, when Da was much lower level, when he had more risk.

I sit on the edge of my seat watching her sip tea and nurse shaking hands. My stomach is churning the whole time. Twice, I slip away to throw up—morning sickness combined with anxiety. When it grows dark, my fear escalates.

I want to go back to the days of naivety and innocence. My zeal to uncover the truth thrust me into a life I'm not sure I feel safe living. Knowing my father and the man I love are out hunting down their enemies with the intent to physically harm or kill anyone who gets in their way terrifies me. Something could go wrong. Someone's blood will be shed, and I'm so scared it will be one of them.

Hovering over the toilet for the third time tonight, I hear voices, men's voices. Mum's wails of relief meet my ears slightly after, and I take a moment to slurp down some water, then wipe my face clean before rushing into the living room to find Da, Jasper, and a tired-looking Lochlan. He stands to the side with his head down as Mum squeezes Jasper in one arm and Da in the other.

I walk in, feeling tears welling up. There's blood on Da's shoes, a splotch on Jasper's shirt, but I can tell it didn't come from them. Lochlan's fists are bloodied again, and there are significant bruises on his cheeks from the fight he had earlier in my apartment with Darren Connelly. He still carries a weight on his shoulders, but it appears more from fatigue than worry, like his stress is lighter.

When his eyes rise to meet mine, I see it there too. Everything has shifted in his expression and body language. When he left, he was on a mission, and I can see just from his slouched posture that his mission is over. Connelly must be dead, or at least the threat neutralized. I want to run to him, wrap my arms around him, and sob into his chest because he's safe and my fears have all been eradicated.

Instead, I tiptoe to my father, wait for him to let go of Mum's shoulders, and lean into him when he turns to me. He stinks of cigarette smoke and whiskey, a hint of sweat and other musky smells. I've smelled it before, but not since I was a child. I've come to know it was what Da smelled like on a bad day—on days when he would pull me onto his lap and read me a story, or later when I got older, when he would sit across the table from me and seem overly eager to hear about my day.

"Da," I whisper as the threads knit together in my mind. The scent I'm smelling is gunpowder, and I've only just realized it. All three of them were together hunting Connelly and the men who put him up to blackmailing, perhaps even more things I'm too scared to ask about.

"Evie girl," he purrs, cupping both cheeks hard. He presses his lips to my forehead, squeezing my head so hard it hurts. But I don’t pull away. Tears steal down my cheeks. I grab the lapels of his jacket and sob. I thought someone was going to die, and most likely, someone did—just not them.

For that I whisper a thanks to the universe for watching over them. It doesn't make the tension release my aching muscles, but it means I'll at least be able to sleep tonight.

"I'm so glad you're safe, Da." Pushing against his chest, I pull away and look up into his eyes. There is concern there, perhaps fear too, but not anger. Not what I expected to see.

"You should be saying that to him now," he says, nudging his chin upward at Lochlan. He doesn't let go of me, though, and I smile through the tears. "We'll have to let Murphy down easy, Evie girl. He's not gonna like it, but you belong to Lochlan."

When his hands let go of me, I almost want them to stay there, to hold me captive in the moment where I’m his little girl and he's my da and nothing in the world will ever separate us or tarnish the connection we have. But when I turn my head and see Lochlan, now with shoulders squared and hands clasped together in front of his belt buckle, I know Da is right. I am no longer Draco O'Leary's daughter. I am Lochlan O'Rourke's woman. My heart and soul and body belong only to him, and forever, that will be how it is.

He stands stoically as I walk toward him, but the tears only increase as the same feeling of relief washes over me about him. He could’ve died tonight, and what would I have done then? How would my heart have continued beating?

"It's done?" I whisper before I even reach him, and he nods once, opening his arms to me. It's such a powerful feeling when they close around my shoulders, even more so when he tips my chin up and kisses me hard. My parents are here watching, Jasper too, and there is no shame in this moment at all.

"It's done, baby, and he'll never hurt you again." Lochlan says the words so tenderly, like applying salve on my wounded heart.

I haven't even stopped to think what that monster would've done to me in my apartment if Lochlan hadn't broken the door open and chased him out, and I don’t want to. I don't want to allow that moment to define this one, where Da finally gives his blessing over our love and the pressure of being pushed into marrying Elvin Murphy is lifted. It's too sweet to tarnish.

Clinging to him so tightly I can feel his heart pounding against my cheek, I ask, "Is he dead?" I'm afraid to know what he may say, afraid of what that means about him even though he already told me he's a killer.

When he pinches my jaw and turns my face up to meet his gaze, his eyes are firm. "Never ask me what happens out there." His tone is so severe, not angry or hostile, but stern. "And I promise that you never have to worry about whether your heart is safe or if I'm protecting you." I nod without thinking. I wonder if this is how Mum does it, if she and Da have an arrangement like this too.

"Yes," I whisper, but I know the answer. I see it in his eyes. Darren Connelly is dead at his hands, and my heart can rest at ease that Lochlan will be my protector and shield as long as we are together.

"I think we have an audience," he says softly, brushing his lips over mine again, and I smile. His thumb wipes away a few tears, and I turn, not letting go of his hand, and tuck into his side to face my parents.

Da is still tense, scowling as he walks over to his recliner and sits down. Jasper plops onto one end of the sofa as he puts a single boot on the corner of the coffee table. Dutiful as always, Mum rushes off calling, "Tea soon!" and disappears into the kitchen, and Lochlan guides me to sit at the other end of the sofa, next to him so our bodies are still pressed together.

"Evelyn, we have a wedding to plan." Da's eyes meet mine only briefly, and he looks away as he tugs his tie off, sheds his jacket. "I assume you'll be moving out now… won't need a job anymore."

"What?" I turn to look Lochlan in the eyes, frowning, then face Da again. "What do you mean, I won't need a job? I'm getting a degree in business, just a few classes left. I'm not going to sit around someone's house baking and knitting. I want to have a career and?—"

Lochlan grips my knee hard and sighs. "It's alright, Evie."

My heart is thudding quietly as Jasper's eyes rise to look at me. He shrugs a shoulder and turns to Da. "You have to admit she was the best one we've ever had in that position, Da."

Da rubs his face with both hands, which I now see also have blood on them. He doesn't look happy about the situation, but I know he'll adjust eventually.

"It's just not safe." His unhappy protest only makes Lochlan tighten his arm around my shoulders.

"Evelyn isn't a child, Draco…" The way he defends me warms my soul. I relax into him and rest my head on his shoulder. "We'll hire security. The office needs it anyway." He's not giving Da an option, and that tells me a lot about who plays a bigger role in this game they're engaged in.

Da doesn't seem to like that much, but he grunts out his acknowledgement. Then he stands, slapping the fronts of his knees. "I'm going to wash up before tea." I watch him turn his hands over and look at his bloodied knuckles. Then he walks off, and Jasper stands too.

"I'm exhausted. I'm gonna crash." Jasper doesn't even say goodnight or wave goodbye. The evening hunches his frame over as he heads out of the room, and I'm alone with Lochlan for the first time since earlier this afternoon.

Turning to see him better, I splay my hand on his chest thoughtfully. There are so many questions I want to ask him about what happened, where they were, how it went down, but I can't. He asked me not to say a word about it, so I have to respect that. Instead I ask, "What did Da mean by 'we have a wedding to plan’?" I ask him cautiously. He preceded it with a comment about letting Elvin down easily, so I know he's not referring to the arrangement.

"I'm going to marry you, and I told him as much." His arm pulls me closer. I'm not even a little put off by the blood on his hands. I trace the dark purple bruise on his cheekbone and frown.

"You're just announcing that?" My words hang between us in a quiet challenge of his authority, and he scoffs at first, then chuckles. Then his chuckle turns into a laugh that shakes his body.

"Of all the things to fight me over, this is the one you're choosing? The hill you'll die on?" Lochlan's lips still curl into a half smirk as he pulls me tighter against himself, hand cupping my ass.

"You told me to bring my A-game, and why would I let you conquer me that easily?" I can't help but smile at him as his hand slides up my back to my head. He pulls me down until my forehead rests against his, then shuts his eyes.

"I'm a very fucked up man, Evelyn." His voice is quiet now. "Things beyond my control affected me and changed me in ways I don't know how to handle. Be patient with me, and I'll figure it out." His eyes open again and stare into mine. "But I give you my word that I will love you until the day I die, and you will never be safer anywhere else than in my arms."

Our lips touch softly, then eagerly, and I let myself fall off into the moment. He went from being my crush to someone I was scared of, to the driving force of my life. And soon, he will become my husband. I never thought it would go this way, but if I had to go back and do it over, I wouldn't change a thing.