Page 21

21

EVIE

K elly and I are sitting on patio chairs outside my little nook of the property as Mum walks away after delivering tea. She watches as Mum disappears into the house before she says a word, and after the bombshell I dropped before Mum shuffled out here to "check on me"—she's been hovering—I know what's coming.

"Are you effing kidding me?" Kelly's eyes are wide, both palms splayed on the wrought iron table between us, and she leans forward in shock. "Pregnant?"

"Shh!" I hiss, glancing back at the house. Mum may be inside, but she has supersonic hearing and I don't want anyone to know yet. I feel like I may wither into myself, like my insides are coiling around a spool that will tighten me down into nothing any second. It's not what I wanted either, but here I am being fucked up the ass by life. All because I wanted a little adventure before being married off like a cow at the auction.

"Evie, feck's sake, girl, you're having a gangster's baby." She can't stop gawking at me, shaking her head, and she hasn't heard the worst of it yet.

"Look, just listen to me." I lean forward now and pour a cup of tea with shaking hands. "It's not just that. There's more?—"

"What more than screwing the man who's supposed to be your boss? What more?" She sits back and takes the tea, sipping it coolly. She's my best friend and I know she cares about me, so I have to take this all willingly. "Evelyn, your da is going to kill you. Lochlan O'Rourke is?—"

"A violent criminal, I know. And he's a bad boy and you said yourself how hot he is. So I screwed up and we didn’t use protection. Listen to me." This time I'm serious, narrowing my eyes at her. "Someone is blackmailing me."

I don't mince words when I tell her about Darren Connelly, about his threats and the visits. The way he thinks he owns me and can demand things of me. I'm surprised he hasn't tried something sexually aggressive too, and maybe had I stayed in his car a bit longer that day we met, maybe he would have. Kelly's eyes are wide the entire time, like she can't believe what I'm saying, but the slight shudder in my hands, the way my shoulders curl in on themselves should tell her I'm only speaking the truth.

When I finish, I say, "Well? Don't just sit there. Say something." Mum is going to come back to ask how the tea is any minute, and what I need right now from my best friend is advice. Lochlan might not be the ideal man to marry or run off with, but I am having his baby. It means even if I don't want to be, I'm forever connected to the Irish Mafia, and so is my Da. Even if he cuts ties with their business and goes straight.

I've seen his records. There's proof he's laundering money, cooking books, maybe skimming union dues, and definitely paying off public officials. Before he gets too far into this, I think there is a way to save him. I just have to get Lochlan to have his family back off. Maybe telling him I'm having his baby will help him. Maybe there is some sort of arrangement I can make to free my da from whatever hold they have on him.

"I think you need to be honest with everyone, Evie." Kelly sets her tea mug on the table and finally lets her eyebrows droop. "Why didn't you say anything weeks ago?"

I shrug one shoulder and scrub both hands over my face. "I thought I could handle it. I couldn't let my da go to prison." My elbows plant on the table and I hide my face. Saying it out loud—that I thought I could take on Mafia blackmail and make the assholes go away just sounds foolish. She's right to question me.

"Tell your da right away, Evie." I feel her hand on mine and hear the chair's feet scrape on the cement beneath it. Looking up, I see her standing, putting her sunglasses on. "I have to go. Tell your mum thanks for tea. And get your arse to Lochlan's house and tell him you're having his baby. You'll thank me later." She purses her lips at me and then squeezes my shoulder as she walks away. I knew she only had a minute, but I wish she had longer.

I feel like trash and it's not just the morning sickness. I've been home from work all day because I don't know how to face any of this. I've even kept the phone from Darren turned off and hidden so I don't have to face whatever it is he may ask of me again. I know it's a risk, but I'm too emotionally overwhelmed by all of this to face it.

So overwhelmed, I bury my face in my hands again and don’t even hear as Mum walks up until the chair scrapes on the ground as she sits. My eyes pop open in fright, thinking some stranger has stalked into our property, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see it's just my mum. She furrows her brow in concern and sighs.

"You haven't touched the tea."

"Sorry, Mum, Kelly had a sip but she had to leave." My hands reach for the kettle, but she stops me, pressing her hand to the back of mine. I hate letting her down. I hate seeing my da be threatened. I hate all of this, even the black eye Jasper got from the picket lines and the fighting, and I just want my life to be peaceful. I want all the horrible truths I've uncovered to be lies, for things to go back the way they were.

"Evie, what's wrong?" Mum's question is sincere and honest, and I don't want to hide from her, but right now, I can't confess anything. I have to tell Lochlan first and find out what he knows about Da and the crimes he's accused of. And if I feel safe enough, I will tell him about the baby too.

"Mum, I…" My lip quivers. Darren, Elvin, Lochlan, Da… I don't know where I could even start if I had the courage to tell her.

"Oh, baby, I know," she coos, and she laces her fingers through mine. "An arranged marriage isn't as bad as you think it will be. You haven't taken time to get to know him, but you may like him. And if you don't you will respect him. He's a good man. And that respect will grow to companionship, then to mutual respect. Eventually, that respect will grow to love." She smiles softly and I press my eyes closed.

"What happens if I back out?" My brain is already thinking fifty steps ahead, to when Elvin sees my swollen belly and Lochlan demands answers. What will my father say then?

"Oh, dear," she says, sounding hesitantly firm. "That can't happen, Evelyn. Mr. Murphy and your father made an arrangement a long time ago." Her hand pulls back from mine as she starts to reiterate the same things I've heard a million times, how love is a choice and how loving my family means doing what my father wants.

I let my thoughts zone out because I can't stand to listen to it one more time. I've heard it too many times already. I've memorized it. But this tiny baby growing in my body changes everything, and I'm afraid that when the bomb gets dropped, it's going to affect more things than just my relationship with my family. It's going to make this problem with my father seem like child's play. Because Lochlan O'Rourke isn't going to sit back and watch the woman who carries his child marry another man.

I've seen how possessive he is over something like sex.