Page 39 of The Vows We Keep

I blanch at that. “I never said anything about falling for Catalina. I just think I can help her.”

My heart thuds traitorously in my chest. It must be the drugs Neva pumped into my body. Perhaps they haven’t all left yet. There can’t be a different reason. One that isn’t a biological function.

“I beg to differ. You were about to go postal on Spark’s ass for calling this woman you arejust helpinga bitch, when you and I both know you call women a lot of other shit.”

I place my palms on the edge of the counter and brace my arms, taking my weight in them until my shoulders burn. Which reminds me, those tattoo sketches never got finished, and I haven’t been to the gym in a while. If I’ve got any clean gym shit. I think about folding my laundry.

And Cat coming to my room. Or my house. Or my life.

Or leaving.

My mom always made cookies when someone came to visit.

I should make cookies and—

“Niro.”

“Do we have any sugar?”

Bates shakes his head. “Brother, you’re on a tilt. Slow your roll a little. You want help with this shit involving her dad? I bet Vex would help too.”

“I don’t need help.”

“We all need help sometimes, you jackass. Just let me know what you need. You don’t tell me today, I’ll ask you again tomorrow.”

I look at my friend. I met Bates about five years ago. He’s a year younger than me but twice as smart. We bonded over a love of knives and face-to-face combat. “Thank you.”

Bates slips down off the counter. “You know I’ve got your back. And it’s okay to admit you like the woman who kidnapped and drugged you, as fucked up as that is to say.”

“You think I’m wrong though, don’t you?”

Bates shrugs. “I’m a poor judge. You know how I feel about permanent relationships. But I think you have to do you.”

I remember once in our early days getting blind drunk on a run to Phoenix together. Bates told me about a woman he’d loved once. She’d been perfect, until he’d decided to join the Outlaws. She hadn’t liked the secrecy, the brotherhood, the less-than-legal activity. He’d returned from a run and found all her belongings gone.

“Now, I gotta go shit, because my stomach is suddenly rough as fuck,” he says, screwing up his nose as he looks down at the empty takeout carton.

“That’s way more information than I need.”

“Might go use Spark’s bathroom just to piss him off for that move he pulled when he grabbed you.”

I shrug. “In fairness, I shouldn’t have brought Iris into it.”

“And he shouldn’t have put a woman over a brother.”

I huff a laugh as Bates slaps my shoulder as he leaves. I follow him into the bar, where Cat and Neva are deep in conversation.

“I’m not just leaving you here,” Neva says with force.

“I’ll be fine. I just ... I need to learn as much as I can. Go back to the house. I’ll meet you there. I have my phone, and I’ll keep you posted,” Catalina says.

Catalina.

I like the way it sounds.

Makes me think about boats. Catamarans and marinas. Sunsets and lulling waves. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a boat. When was the last time I had sushi?

That’s what I should get Catalina for dinner.