Page 39 of The Viscount Needs a Wife (All for Love #2)

“N icholas Benedict Redmayne,” said Lady Stavely waving away the butler’s offer of buttered peas. “He was the Earl of Tavistock’s son. Gerald Redmayne was one of my beaux. That was before he came into the title himself, of course.”

“Tavistock?” Emrys asked. “I know that name.”

“Yes, that will be Gerald’s grandson, the current earl. I forget his name. I don’t think I’ve ever met him. He would have still been in the nursery when I retired from London society.” She sipped her wine and picked at the chicken on her plate.

He glanced at Annis, who had given up any pretense of eating. She was staring at Lady Stavely avidly.

“Can you tell us anything about him? Nicholas?” she prompted.

The old lady frowned. “There was something. Something happened to him...”

Emrys squeezed Annis’s hand surreptitiously under the table. He could feel her tension.

“I think there was an accident of some kind. He was never the same afterward.”

“How—how did he die?” asked Annis, her voice tremulous.

“Some illness, I think. I don’t recall, just that Gerald was devastated. Nicolas was his only child, and he loved that boy to distraction. Not that he was easy on him.”

“When did he die?” Annis sipped her wine and set it down with a hand that shook slightly.

“Now you’re asking me to remember details, and everything is a blur.

” Lady Stavely set down her fork and sipped her wine reflectively.

“It was after Christmas, I remember that much, possibly in January. It was still wretchedly cold. I know, because Harry—that was Emrys’s grandfather—took to his bed with a cough and we were afraid he was going to expire on us.

He didn’t, but Gerald’s son did . You wouldn’t remember that, Emrys.

You were only five or so, I think. Which means it must have been ’72 or ’73. ”

“Then who was the current earl’s father?” asked Emrys, puzzled.

“Nicholas, of course. He married Lady Damaris Godfrey, the Earl of Grenville’s daughter. He and Gerald were thick as thieves since their school days.”

Emrys glanced at Annis, trying to figure out if she had come to the same conclusion he had. She looked somewhat pale, and he was worried she was upset.

“He must have married Lady Damaris after your mother died, my dear,” said Lady Stavely with a smile at Annis. Annis tried to smile back, and Emrys changed the subject.

They left the old lady soon after dinner, pleading fatigue. With the door shut, Emrys sat down on the bed to remove his boots and said, “Well, we have some of the answers we have been looking for.”

“Do we?” asked Annis in a hollow voice.

“Certainly, we do,” said Emrys, attacking his neckcloth. “Why, what are you thinking?”

She swallowed. “Nicholas must have had his marriage with Mama put aside.”

“But did he? On what grounds? It couldn’t have been annulled for lack of consummation; you’re evidence the marriage was consummated.”

“Based on the dates, my parents anticipated their vows by at least a month!” said Annis, her hands on her flaming cheeks. She blinked at the tears in her eyes. “I am a bastard after all if the marriage was set aside, Emrys!”

He rose and pulled her into his arms. “I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion, my dear. It is far more likely that his second marriage is invalid. Bigamous, in fact.”

“You think so?” she said, her face buried in his jacket.

“I do. So, no more tears, hm? I hate to see you crying. I’ll be forced to tickle you just to make you laugh,” he said, squeezing her.

She choked. “Oh Emrys!” She looked up at him and he kissed her. “Don’t you care if I’m illegitimate or not?”

“Not one whit,” he said, kissing her nose. “I’d not like it widely known, but mostly because it would make you uncomfortable. Since Caro, I’m a walking scandal anyway. I couldn’t care less what the gossips say about me. But I’d rather they not say nasty things about you.”

She sighed. “But I do care!” She chewed her lip. “I have been feeling such a fraud, and then when I thought I was legitimate it gave me such a feeling of confidence. I can’t explain it, but I will feel more worthy of you if it’s true.”

“Annis, you are more than worthy of me, whatever your birth. In fact, it’s I who feel unworthy of you, if anything.” He frowned. “But this information does make me feel much better, regardless, for I now know where the threat is coming from. I can take steps to protect you.”

“Emrys...” Her choked voice told him she was going to cry again. He needed to fix that and kissed her.

*

Later that night, Emrys lay awake while Annis slept beside him.

As promised, he had made love to her slowly and thoroughly, only taking her at the last after she had experienced several orgasms. He was still shocked by his own behavior this afternoon and trying to puzzle out what had caused it.

It was nothing new to be overcome by lust for his wife.

He frequently felt it, often in inappropriate moments, but to be so overwhelmed by it that he couldn’t wait—that was new.

She had said she wasn’t Caroline, and there was pain in her voice when she’d said it, even as she sprang to his defense.

She was so sensitive to his moods. How had she known he was thinking that he wished Caroline had thought him half as wonderful as Annis seemed to?

Of course, she wouldn’t like to feel she was being compared to the wife he had loved and lost. Even if that comparison was in Annis’s favor.

He should have told her that, but instead he’d behaved like a beast.

His uncontrolled lust came from a place he didn’t recognize.

A primitive part of him that wanted to own and possess.

The odd thing, though, was in the aftermath he had wanted to curl up in her arms and cry.

Not because he’d behaved like a beast, but because a part of him wanted comfort, like a child.

He craved the comfort of her arms, of her body.

It was that that drove him to take her so quickly—he was desperate for the comfort that she offered.

It eased the hurt inside him, the empty ache of betrayal.

God, Caroline had made a mess of him, hadn’t she?

It went deeper than he’d thought. Annis soothed that wound, and he craved that soothing.

It made him want to crawl inside her and just be—not think or feel or be responsible, just be.

Learn to be whole again, learn to be himself again.

But not his old self, rather the new self that was emerging like a butterfly from a chrysalis.

He wanted to learn to be the husband she needed, the father his children needed.

God, I love her. The revelation was like a sunrise, warm and almost blinding in its intensity.

It brought tears to his eyes, and he lay with them trickling out the corners and pooling in his ears.

A giddy joy came in its wake, and he couldn’t decide if he was happy or sad.

He glanced down at her curled into him, her head on his chest and he wanted to squeeze her and kiss her and tell her. ..

But would she trust that I mean it? Do I trust that I mean it?

Is this just some rebound reaction to Caroline’s betrayal?

He didn’t know. He was so confused by his own emotions; he was a mess.

And if it was one thing Annis didn’t deserve, it was a mess.

She deserved steadiness and dependability.

He had promised her that, and here he was veering all over the map emotionally like a crazed creature.

He took a slow, steadying breath. He would wait a bit and see if these feelings consolidated.

When he was sure, he would speak. But only when he was sure.

Annis was worthy of that, and he cared for her too much to want to inadvertently to hurt her.

.. like he’d hurt Caro. He needed to be absolutely certain before he said anything.

He would take steps to protect her...

then he would tell her that he loved her.

.. when she knew she was safe with him. ..

His thoughts became muddled, and he fell asleep holding her close.