Page 9 of The Viscount and the Wallflower (The Unlikely Betrothal Series #4)
Chapter 9
A lex was on his knee, naked from the waist up before the woman he loved. He hadn’t doubted for a moment he was in love with her before they had lain together. Being with her in that way only confirmed the depths of his feelings and that he must have her in his life forever.
“Lily, I know it may seem fast and mad, but I am falling in love with you. And, given what has occurred between us, I am inclined to believe that you might care for me, too,” he said, rubbing his thumb along her hand that he held in his. “Will you marry me?”
He stared at her, expecting her to throw her arms around his neck and delight in the heartfelt profession of his love and that he wished to marry her. Several seconds passed, and his entire body tensed, and he did his best not to let his expression convey the same. His heart was in his throat, watching her appear to be at war with her thoughts. Had he misread everything between them? No, he couldn’t. He was just inside of her only minutes ago.
Alex stared into her eyes, and his smile faltered further with each additional second that it took her to muster her response.
“No, Alex. I will not marry you.”
He rose to his feet and paced along the side of the bed. Unsure if he heard her correctly and trying to make sense of what had occurred between them.
“But I love you,” he finally said.
She said nothing and clasped her hands in front of her naked body. She wrung and squeezed her fingers, and it only put him in an even greater state of unease.
“Are you telling me you feel nothing for me?” he asked, almost pleading, begging her to feel the same that he did, or even enough to give them a chance.
“Alex,” she whispered.
He held his hand up to silence her. “Tell me. Tell me that there is no part of your heart that is mine.” Surely she wasn’t without any feelings for him. Their meeting had to have been the work of fate, a story he would have told across a hundred pages. This couldn’t be how their story ended. They were a romantic comedy, not a tragedy.
Lily’s expression was one of sadness and there were tears that formed at the corners of her eyes. He longed to press his lips to her salty tears and tell her he loved her again, but he had already played the part of the lovesick fool once before. Although he would do so again if she didn’t give him a good reason why they couldn’t be together.
She swallowed hard and found her voice. “I will marry Lord Knox.”
He fought all the rage that boiled within him that he had found himself in another situation where he wasn’t good enough to be the one chosen. Believing he had found the woman he would wed, and then she married someone else. At least he hadn’t bedded that one. His hands formed tight fists. “You encouraged me into your bed when you were engaged to another?”
“No,” she blurted. “He hasn’t asked yet.”
He released his fists and allowed his shoulders to lower. If she wasn’t engaged, he had a chance. “Then marry me, Lily. There is nothing standing between us.”
“He intends to ask, and I will say yes.”
“Why?” Nothing made sense. His world was spinning, and his stomach tightened and knotted every second that Lily didn’t say that she felt something for him, and not Knox .
“It doesn’t matter why, Alex. The end result is the same.” She raised her chin and drew a deep breath.
“Tell me. I want to hear the reason.” He couldn’t let her off that easily. There was something else going on. He knew it in his heart.
She looked at him, and a tear rolled down her right cheek. She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again, then she began speaking in another language.
Alex thought it might have been German, but he wasn’t proficient in the language.
“Lily, tell me what you just said,” he pleaded. “In English this time.”
She shook her head, and he knew she was fighting back more tears.
Alex grabbed his shirt and slid it onto his body before buttoning it. He donned his boots and picked up his coats. His movements were abrupt, doing his best to hold back the anger brewing within him again. He stuffed the cloth he used to clean them both in his pocket.
“I can’t believe I did this again. I am questioning if I even know you,” he said, rising and moving towards the door. “I’ll never understand how you could be so cruel to invite me to your bed and then tell me you intend to marry another man.”
He didn’t give her a chance to respond and he couldn’t look back at her. Unlocking the door, he poked his head out to check the hallway, then departed, needing to put as much distance between them as possible. Given the state of his dress and how in disarray he was, he quickly made his way to his chamber.
The only good thing from the last few minutes was that he believed he went unseen by one of the other guests.
Alex leaned against the door of his chamber after he locked it behind himself. She’d turned him down. Lily gave him her virginity and the most intense, ardent experience he’d ever shared with a woman, then she refused to marry him.
His heart had been ripped in half and every muscle in his body ached from the pain of her rejection. After what they had experienced together, there hadn’t been a doubt in his mind that she would have agreed to marry him. Then they could have planned to announce their betrothal later that evening, but she’d crushed his entire heart and soul when she’d said no.
None of it made any sense. She had to feel something for him. His Lily wasn’t cold and unfeeling. He recalled the way she looked at him when she refused to allow him to enter the burning stables. She hadn’t stopped or called after Knox. She called after him. Alex.
When she spoke what he believed to be German, there was something in her expression and the emotion in her words that he was inclined to believe that she did, in fact, love him. Perhaps it was wishful thinking on his part, but if she didn’t love him, wouldn’t she just say so?
If she held any feelings for Lord Knox, wouldn’t she have also said that? Wouldn’t she have taken Knox to her bed instead of him?
The mental image of her taking another man to bed caused bile to rise in his throat. He couldn’t allow her to marry someone else. He couldn’t allow another man to touch her in all the ways he had. She was his, and he’d determine what held her back and then help her see that whatever it was did not signify for their future. There was nothing that would be strong enough to keep him from her, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.
Moving across the room, Alex dropped into the chair at the writing desk in his chamber. He ran his hands down his face and rested his elbows on the desk before him, propping his chin in his hands. He drew a deep breath and picked up his quill. If he were to write the event into his play, he’d certainly give them a far happier ending.
Alex tapped his quill against his cheek, replaying the conversation with Lily in his head again. It didn’t add up. He thought about it for every bit of a half an hour. Analyzing every word she said, at least the ones in a language he could understand.
The only thing he could come up with was that he must speak to Knox. Perhaps if he could ascertain the gentleman’s intentions, he could convince Knox to abandon his plans to wed Lily if it came to that. And if the man didn’t readily agree, well, Alex would cross that bridge when he came to it, but he would not give up on her.
He would do whatever it took to give them both a chance at a life together.