Page 20 of The Vanishing Cherry Blossom Bookshop

Once they were on their way, the sisters spent some time chatting about their mother’s style of fashion. The outfit she was dressed in earlier was what she considered everyday clothes. It was the kind of thing she wore while she cooked or even while she cleaned the toilet.

‘Speaking of fashion,’ said Shiho, “a lot of people think that “Lolita fashion” started in Japan, but apparently that’s not the case.’

‘Really? I mean, not that I’m particularly interested.’

‘Decades ago, like in the 80s, there was a pop duo from the UK called Strawberry Switchblade. Apparently, that was their style. You know, black-and-white polka dot dresses and big hair accessories, that kind of thing. I say “Lolita” but I guess they were a bit more on the goth side.’

‘And you know this because…?’

‘Oh, well, whenever I get tired of studying and I need a little break, I like to look up random stuff online. For example, words that I’m familiar with but don’t have a deep understanding of.

These days, I’ve been reading about “neoteny”, the Buddhist concept “ issai shujō shitsu u busshō ” and “sin-aplenty”.

The last one turned out to be a made-up word though – disappointing, really. ’

Right , Kaho almost said, but instead cocked her head to one side. ‘Wait a sec. That does not sound like a break to me.’

‘Huh? Sure, it is. Using my head for something else, even for a little bit, helps me move forward when I feel like I’ve hit a dead end. Especially when it comes to things like maths.’

‘And here I thought our mother was the only weirdo in the house.’

‘Well, we’re both Tae-chan’s daughters. It must run in the family.’

‘Not me. I’m a sensible person, like Dad.’

‘That would be a stretch – we’re twins , remember?’

As they walked along, the sun grew warmer and warmer. I might not need my jacket after all , Kaho thought briefly. Shiho was still speaking.

‘Anyway, this word “neoteny” is so interesting. Broadly speaking, it means that there are certain creatures that retain childlike traits, even after they’ve grown into an adult. The axolotl is one of them. That’s why they seem so cute to us, apparently.’

‘Childlike … traits?’

‘You know those insects that turn themselves into cocoons? They look completely different before and after their transformation, right? Well, though very rarely, there are these moths that can reproduce while they’re still caterpillars.

And that’s what they call “neoteny”. I guess birds and mammals don’t go through such dramatic transformations, but still, babies and adults look quite different, like the head-to-body proportions and stuff. Right?’

‘True.’

‘And that’s when I remembered something I’d heard about cats, that only kittens communicate with their mother through mewing and meowing.

Two cats almost never meow at each other.

But over the long history of being domesticated, they learned to cry at humans even after reaching maturity.

Evolution is probably not the right word, but it feels like it’s something along those lines. ’

‘Were you always this nerdy, Shiho?’

‘I can’t help it. Textbooks and reference books have been my only friends for the past three years. Anyway, unfortunately, we can’t stay kids for ever. It’ll be our coming-of-age ceremony in no time.’

As their conversation went on, the story of the boy who never got to grow up surfaced in Kaho’s mind. But in truth, it had always been there, quietly smouldering within her long before she knocked on her sister’s door.

The Hiiragi family used to be their next-door neighbours.

Since they were the same age, Shiho, Kaho and Shoma naturally moved through the same pre-school and elementary school together.

For the sisters, the Hiiragis were probably the first people with whom they developed a close relationship outside of their own family.

Shoma was an only child, and although Kaho and Shiho had each other, they didn’t have any other siblings.

And so the bond they shared was something that went a little beyond a typical childhood friendship.

However, as they progressed through each year of school, all of this began to feel bothersome to Kaho.

As it happened, there wasn’t a single year where the three of them were placed in the same class, and while they had frequently walked to and from school together in the first few years of elementary school, they gradually grew out of this, too.

But one day, as soon as Kaho got home, her mother told her that Shoma had passed away.

It was just before the summer break of their fifth year in elementary school.

Kaho was so stunned, she couldn’t even take her school backpack off her shoulders.

She just stood paralysed in the entranceway, unable to say anything.

She still remembered the thought that struck her at the time.

The realisation that things like this, the kind of things that were only supposed to happen in dramas and manga, can happen to her, to the people around her.

For the first time in her life, she felt the precariousness of simply being alive.

When she finally managed to move her mouth, she found herself giving a listless reply, then heading towards her room.

‘Don’t forget to wash your hands and gargle,’ her mother chided her.

Kaho could still recall the scene vividly.

Entering their room, she saw Shiho lying with her face down on the bed. Back then, they’d shared a room with bunk beds, switching between the top and bottom bunks on a monthly rotation. It had been Shiho’s turn to use the bottom bed.

Have you heard? Kaho opened her mouth to say, but quickly shut it again. Her sister’s shoulders were trembling. She hadn’t made a sound, but she was crying. Noticing Kaho’s gaze, Shiho slowly turned her body away. Her back towards Kaho, she lay there motionless, seemingly clenching her teeth.

Eventually, Kaho came to see that the boy might have occupied a place in Shiho’s heart that was not the same as where he had been inside hers, but that wasn’t until much later.

And so, in that moment, she had no sense of what to say or do.

Without saying anything, Kaho set her backpack down and got changed as quietly as possible, then quickly slipped out of the room.

Making her way downstairs, she found her mother in the kitchen and asked if she needed a hand with anything.

Her mother was wearing a dress covered in a strange pattern of dull-coloured plants that reminded Kaho of the Seven Herbs.

She had felt such relief at the sight of her mother that this pattern became permanently imprinted in her mind.

After this, Kaho couldn’t bring herself to go back to their room, not until it was time to tell her sister that dinner was ready.

The following day, Kaho learned that Shoma had acute leukaemia.

Thinking about it, their mother had once taken her and Shiho to visit him in hospital.

It must have been in the winter of the previous year or early spring, just after the new school year.

But no one had told her why Shoma was in hospital or why she had been brought there.

Moreover, for some reason, she ended up being alone with him.

She had no idea where her mother and sister had disappeared to.

She didn’t remember. But she wished that it never happened.

Like a thorn stuck in her heart, that feeling remained deeply lodged within her.

‘You know – I like you, Kaho-chan.’ He had said it out of nowhere.

‘Huh?’ was all Kaho could manage. Maybe she had said something a little more, perhaps thanks, but the details were now hazy.

Still, she remembered saying what immediately came to her mind: ‘But you get along better with Shiho, don’t you? ’

The boy’s face froze at those words. At least, that was what it seemed like to Kaho. A faraway look came to Shoma’s eyes, his stare passing through her.

‘Well, I guess I like you and Shiho-chan equally. If I could, I would marry you both.’

The boy broke into a smile. Taking this as a sign that he must have been joking, Kaho relaxed. But then, without thinking, she said something that she shouldn’t have. Even now, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Shiho about the words that escaped her in that moment.

Nothing was the same after they received the news of Shoma’s passing. From that point on, Kaho felt like she had carried a secret, one that she couldn’t even share with her own family. As for her sister, she grew quieter as the days went on.

Mr and Mrs Hiiragi had moved away that same year, and Kaho’s family hadn’t heard from them since.

It was during that summer holiday that their parents began strongly encouraging the sisters to attend the all-girls school that they ended up going to.

Perhaps they felt that attending the local junior high school, which was right next to their elementary school, would make it harder for them to break away from the sadness.

They would have had to walk more or less the same school route as well.

The all-girls school, on the other hand, was in the opposite direction.

But, as one might expect, a long time had passed before Kaho understood such things.

Once Shiho had made up her mind about applying to the school, she even helped Kaho study for the entrance exams. It was around this time that Shiho began to wear glasses.

Kaho, hoping to go to the same school, also worked as hard as she could, and managed to pass.

When the family walked the path together on the day of the induction ceremony, the cherry blossoms along the river, though past their peak, would still have been in bloom.