Page 149 of The Vampire's Mercy

I wailed and cried and sobbed until there was nothing left of me.

I can’t do this.

I can’t do this.

CHAPTER FIFTY

SILVANUS

Isat with Paris on my bed, both of us resting our backs against the headboard. Medusa, in her snake form again, had left us to it, needing some alone time in the gardens.

She’d tried to open a portal to Selene Haven, but it didn’t work.

Lucius.

Aidan.

Lies. Lies. Lies. And too many secrets left to be uncovered.

I’d become numb, unsure of how to move forward. Cold, closed off, lost again. If I sat here, closed off from the world beyond, I’d be alright. I wouldn’t have to think, to hurt, to allow grief to burn me like a branding iron.

Vaughn stopped by an hour ago, parts of his memory restored along with mine. I sent him away, not ready to deal with the anguish of my kin yet. A million pokes demanding my attention, seeking comfort.

Soon. I’d deal with them soon.

Elio called to me, begging to see me. I told him no.

Why I could tolerate Paris, I didn’t know. But I liked him being beside me.

“Who’d have thought we’d be in this room together again?” the elf said, his voice hoarse.

“Indeed,” I answered, eyes on the night beyond my balcony doors. They stood open, letting the ocean air inside.

“Thanks,” he whispered, the vanilla scent of the five cigs he’d smoked within the past half an hour fading.

“For what?”

“For letting me hang here and not killing me again.”

He’d been brought back to life by something…something I didn’t want to think about right now. It might allow my army of thoughts to slide in.

“I have no desire to kill you,” I answered.

“Don’t think you can.”

I smiled weakly. “Indeed. And you’re welcome. Thank you for being here.”

He shuffled slightly. “Weird, huh?”

“Extremely. But if we’ve learned anything over these past few days, we’re meant to be in each other’s lives. To fight Aidan, to learn more about our past.”

Talking felt easy with him, my inner walls still in place.

He didn’t answer for a few beats. “I’m…I’m struggling.”

From a pious elf to someone betrayed by his god. What an awful thing to bear. To my surprise, I had a lot of sympathy for the man I’d killed last night.

I hadn’t forgotten what he’d done, but if it hadn’t been for my mercy, we vampires would’ve never come here.