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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

P olitics was boring.

Even in a magical mystical land of murder and monsters, somehow, it was still mind-numbingly boring.

Listening to people debate whether or not so-and-so had any right to be annoyed at so-and-so for eating the arm off so-and-so made it only slightly more entertaining.

She would have thought that the spectacular nature of what was being discussed would have made it more fascinating, but everyone at the table was treating it with such a hum-drum tone and approach that she couldn’t help but do the same.

They were bored.

So she was bored.

She found herself tuning out of it after a while and enjoying the wine a little too much. That, and Puck kept poking her in the leg, or doing other weird antics, clearly trying to cause problems or do other kinds of nonsense to upstage what was going on.

Nope. She kept a straight face like a champ.

Nope. She would not fall for it.

She should’ve known she wasn’t a match for the Puck. It was when he decided to take two grapes and shove them on his canine teeth and hiss at her like some kind of grape-fanged monster, that she couldn’t take it anymore.

He’d timed it right when she’d been taking a sip of her wine, causing her to almost spray the mouthful of red liquid all over the table though her explosion of sudden and uncontrollable laughter.

“Children.” Valroy’s nails left gouges in the arm of his chair as he tightened his hand into a fist. He grimaced in rage. “Must I teach you both a lesson?”

“No—no. Sorry. Sorry.” Ava choked down the mouthful of wine and coughed. “I—let me take His Most Honorable Annoyance here for a walk. We’re not contributing anyway.”

“Ooh! Walkies!” Puck shot up from his folding chair so fast he knocked it over with a clatter.

She watched as mid-leap, he shifted forms into a mongrel of a dog.

He almost looked like a cross between a German shepherd and a…

well, a whole bunch of other breeds. One of his ears stuck up straight and the other bent.

He barked at her, ran around in a quick circle, and then sat, tongue sticking out, tail thumping loudly on the ground.

Valroy let out a long, beleaguered sigh, and waved his hand, dismissing them from the table. “Go. Please.”

Oh, man. The Unseelie King was asking politely? He must really be annoyed. Getting up from the table, she picked up her glass of wine and jerked her head at Bitty. “C’mon.”

“May Alex and I join them, your majesty?” Izael smiled, bowing his head. “They should not be allowed to wander your kingdom unescorted. And I believe Lysander here still has news to report…”

Lysander bristled at that, but seemingly couldn’t argue.

“Two birds with one stone? Yes. All of you. Go.” Valroy looked like he was ready to explode. “Simply begone already.”

“Happily.” Ava smiled, plucked up the wine bottle from the table for good measure, and headed off in a random direction, picking a trail that went into the woods and just starting to walk. Puck ran ahead of her, happily barking in excitement .

“I cannot, and I repeat— cannot— get over how weird this is.” Ava wasn’t speaking to anybody in particular. Not really.

But when Alex laughed from beside her, she wasn’t honestly surprised. The purple-skinned Unseelie let out a long, tired sigh. “Yeah. Trust me, I feel you. You’ll get used to it pretty fast.”

“I know.” She took a swig of the wine from the bottle and offered it over to Alex. “I mean, by rights I should be huddled in a corner somewhere having a total meltdown. But here I am, talking to a woman with horns like it’s no big deal.”

“What’re the other options, though?” Alex shrugged, swigging from the bottle. “Having a meltdown only goes so far.”

“But it is kind of funny for the rest of us.” Izael slung an arm over Ava’s shoulder, pulling her abruptly into his side. He smelled like expensive cologne. “So. Tell me. I’ve been dying to ask this question all night.”

Ava braced herself. “I’m going to hate this, aren’t I?”

“Probably,” Alex muttered.

“Where’s his cock?” Izael grinned down at her.

“Yep. Thanks. I hate it.” Ava ducked out from under Izael’s arm. “What the fuck do you mean, where’s his—” She stopped herself. “I’m not having this conversation.”

“Oh, come on!” Izael whined, throwing his head back like a toddler who had just been told they had to leave the toy store. “It’s just a simple physics question! Look. When I’m in my true form, my cocks are located farther down my tail, true to my serpentine brothers, than?—”

“Wait.” It was her turn to interrupt him. “What?”

Now Izael’s grin turned positively fiendish. “Do I have your attention now, Weaver?”

“Izzy, be nice.” Alex clearly had to say that a lot. Probably to little effect.

“I am being perfectly nice.” Izael swept a hand through his chin-length, cyan-turquoise hair that was probably unruly very much on purpose.

“I simply am curious as to if, when she was fucking him as a spider, if his cock was at the front or the back.” He gestured toward his hips and then jerked a thumb behind him.

“Human hips or anatomically correct. Mermaid or centaur.”

Ava put both her hands over her face. “I’m not having this conversation. I am not having this conversation.”

“Come now, don’t be ashamed! Do you know how many fascinating ways there are to get fucked by the fae?

” Izael laughed, hugging Ava to his side again as they walked.

“So many you likely haven’t even dreamed of.

Although, with what you’re becoming, you might be able to dream up so many fun new ways to?—”

“Izael.” Alex cut him off.

“What?” Ava looked up at Izael curiously, brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Mermaid or centaur?” He poked her in the arm. “Don’t be shy.”

“I...” Ava paused. He was clearly insane. His comment about dreams made her curious. Though she’d put exactly zero odds that he’d give her a straight answer if she pushed him on it, especially with Alex’s warning. Whatever he’d said, he hadn’t been supposed to.

Which meant they were hiding things from her.

Great. Awesome.

“You’re not going to give up asking, are you?” Ava sighed.

“Nooope.” Izael drew out the word for comedic effect.

She glanced at Alex for help, who only gave her a piteous expression in response.

Rolling her eyes, Ava gave up. “I don’t know, okay?”

“Oooh, drunken spider sex. Or hypnotism! Was it hypnotism? I could see him being a hypnotism freak. Mind control. Definitely that.” Izael cackled.

Ava hated how close he was to the truth. Really, really hated it. “No. We just—I haven’t even seen his ‘true form’ or whatever you people call it.”

That killed all joy on Izael’s face. It faded slowly into sad confusion. “Honestly? ”

“Honestly.” She shrugged. “Seems like a personal thing, I don’t know. Rude to ask, isn’t it?”

“How long was it before I showed you what I really was, love?” Izael looked over at Alex.

“Uh—as soon as you could.” Alex chuckled. “Although I think you waited until you needed to before you showed me how you got your ‘Duke of Bones’ title.”

“Yes, well.” Izael smirked. “Humans can get so upset when you eat someone whole in front of them or snap all their bones with the power of your mind.”

That was one of those sentences that Ava knew was going to stick in her head for a while. “Point being, yes, Serrik and I have had sex. No, it isn’t any of your goddamn business, but no, it wasn’t with him in his ‘true form.’ So I don’t know if he’s mermaid or centaur so please stop asking.”

Izael let out a quiet huh and took his arm off of her shoulders to walk beside her, now lost in thought.

Puck came running back to them, still in dog form, a stick in his mouth.

He dropped it on the ground and did another happy run in a tiny circle.

Ava smiled. She couldn’t help it. She loved dogs.

Picking up the stick, she walked a few paces away from Izael and Alex so she didn’t hit them with it, pulled back, and threw the stick down the path as far as she could.

Puck took off running. And so started the ongoing game of stick toss as the bizarre pack of them walked down the path through the forest. It was beautiful.

Beyond beautiful. The moonlight cast everything around them in a pale blue hue.

She could see flickering little orbs of light in the darkness of the trees. Insects and frogs chirped and peeped.

Every now and then she had to glance behind her to make sure that Bitty was still there, following close by, but cowering in fear, as always.

It was after a minute of peaceful silence that Izael broke it. “He either doesn’t trust you or he’s ashamed. Which really is the same thing—because he doesn’t trust you.”

“Is this about the dick thing again?” Ava was trying to get the stick out of Puck’s mouth. He was growling and tugging on it, clearly enjoying the game of mine just as much as he was enjoying the game of fetch.

“Yes, well—no. Sort of.” Izael looked oddly thoughtful. “Why wouldn’t he show you what he really was? Shame. I know he hates what he is—we’ve all heard the story. But to not show you? Why?”

“Maybe he just doesn’t think it’s important.” She finally got the stick out of Puck’s mouth and whipped it down the path again. Puck took off after it.

Izael chuckled. “It’s important. The version of him you’ve seen—that you’ve fucked— is an illusion, Ava. It isn’t the real him. And while that might be fine for him, given the situation?—”

“Izael,” Alex warned again.

“Okay.” Now Ava was getting pissed. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Things we can’t tell you. Things that we aren’t allowed to, or else Valroy will pull out our tongues.” Alex glared at Izael. “And I’m real sick of bringing someone back to life when he runs his mouth.”