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“Right?” Gianluca nodded. “She was brilliant, too. She read widely, even as a child. It’s well known that she loved Boccacio’s The Lives of Famous Women , which was about strong women from ancient history and mythology.

I personally think she modeled herself after those stories.

She was completely self-actualized, and it’s a testament to the power of books, if you ask me. ”

Julia liked watching his face light up when he talked, his intellect engaged.

“She loved the sciences, too, like astronomy and astrology.”

“Astrology?” Julia’s ears perked up.

“Yes, astrology was huge at the Sforza court. Her father employed several court astrologers. One very famous one, Cardona. She employed astrologers too, and consulted them all the time.”

Whoa. “Do you know her birthday?” Julia couldn’t resist asking.

“Historians think it’s probably November 25, in 1462.”

“So, Sagittarius. That means she was bold, liked risks, and was an adventurer. Sounds right, doesn’t it?”

“Totally. I’m a Scorpio. Intense, passionate, magnetic .” Gianluca flared his eyes comically.

Julia laughed, wondering if he was flirting, then had an odd thought. “Was she a gardener?”

“Yes, I’ll show you.” Gianluca led her across the ramparts, and Julia fell into step beside him, though she already sensed where they were going.

The rampart widened, and there were other sections of the castle set off by stone walls.

They kept going until they reached a smaller courtyard closest to the center of the castle, and they looked down over the wall onto a messy tangle of overgrown white and pink wildflowers, bushes, and trees.

Gianluca leaned a hand on the wall. “This was her garden. She was an amateur botanist, too. She grew herbs and plants for salves. She became one of the foremost authorities on homeopathic medicine at the time.”

Julia eyed the garden and felt her thoughts transported. Images of flowers and herbs and plants flickered through her mind. She knew it was her imagination running away with her, but she let it go.

“Caterina designed the garden so it was the most protected place of the castle. She wanted it to be safe, and a paradise for her and her children. She called it Paradiso .”

“It’s like the center of the castle is the heart of the woman.”

“Yes, exactly.” Gianluca glanced over with a smile. “You have a feel for her.”

“I guess I do.” Julia realized it was the perfect way to describe what was happening. She had a feel for Caterina.

“Why do you think that is? Do you think you’re related to her?” Gianluca eased onto the wall to listen, his head tilted. His manner encouraged Julia to answer, but she was torn.

“If I tell you, you’ll think I’m crazy.”

“No, I won’t,” Gianluca said softly.

“I’m starting to think I might be related to her, because I feel safe here, and that hasn’t happened anywhere else.

” Julia hesitated. “I’ve had a hard time since my husband was killed, I don’t feel safe anywhere, and now I’m having nightmares, really strange ones, and they’re mostly about Caterina.

One night I dreamed she came off the fresco and was chasing me.

Then the next night, there was blue light from her, chasing me.

” Julia watched his face carefully, but Gianluca’s expression didn’t change, nor did he seem to judge her.

“Then last night, I was researching her and I had a vision that a blue light came out of my laptop .”

“A vision?” Gianluca blinked. “Were you asleep?”

“No.”

“Is it possible you dozed off and dreamed it? I do, when I’m working at night.”

“I suppose it’s possible,” Julia answered, but she knew it was unlikely.

“The whole thing confuses me because here today, in her castle, I feel better somehow. It has to be related to Caterina, maybe she could even be guiding me. Maybe that’s how I knew my way around. Is that even possible? Or am I crazy?”

“You’re not crazy.” Gianluca paused. “You’re heartbroken.”

Julia swallowed hard. She felt heartbroken. “I am, but what does that have to do with it?”

“It explains everything. Love is all.” Gianluca met her gaze directly.

“You’re grieving a man you loved very much.

You suffered a loss that broke your heart.

You saw something you can never unsee and will never forget.

” He touched his chest. “That injury, it breaks your heart and your soul, too. And your sense of self. So of course, you’re not yourself right now. ”

Julia felt his words touch a chord. “That’s exactly how I feel, that I’m not myself.”

“So let it be,” Gianluca said, softly. “Let yourself grieve and heal.”

“I grieve plenty, but I don’t know how to heal. I have a therapist and coping mechanisms and everything.”

“Keep grieving. Grieving heals you. The crying, the talking, the nightmares, the memories, those things are part of grieving, and in time the grieving will be less acute, and you’ll begin to feel like yourself again.”

Julia hoped he was right.

“You can’t avoid the sadness. You mustn’t try.

Nor can you wait for it to end so you can be magically healed.

There’s no line between sadness and happiness, like borders of a country.

Sometimes sadness leads to happiness and sometimes both emotions exist in the same space at the same time.

” Gianluca spoke with feeling. “I know how loss feels. I had a broken heart, too.”

“What happened?” Julia asked, feeling like they were making a connection, and she realized that she hadn’t felt connected to anybody in a long time. Since the rift with Courtney, she’d never been so alone.

Gianluca put up a hand. “I’ll tell you, but first, please understand I’m not making any parity between what happened to you. I experienced loss but, not as earth-shattering as yours.”

“I understand.”

“I thought I met the love of my life, but she gave back my ring. She decided not to marry me.” Gianluca’s dark curls blew away from his face, revealing a mask of pain.

“We were together for three years, engaged for six months. She was an Australian studying here, but she decided she wanted us to move back to Sydney, and I agreed to go with her. I quit my job, sold my furniture and books, and I said goodbye to my family. I was ready to leave everything for her. I was happy to. Love is all. Nothing matters more.” Gianluca shook his head, smiling ruefully.

“On the way to the airport, she told me she fell in love with another man.”

“Oh no.” Julia felt terrible for him. “That must have been awful.”

“It was, and I was a mess. I went home and cried like a small child for days. I drank, I drew terrible sketches. I reread all of Shakespeare.” Gianluca chuckled.

“I borrowed my sister’s book of his complete works, and the pages warped with my tears.

When I returned the book, she thought I dropped it in the bathtub. ”

“Ouch.” Julia knew the feeling.

“But it’s behind me now. She wasn’t the love of my life, and my broken engagement is another event in my personal history.

” Gianluca shrugged. “If I may say so, Italians don’t deal with their emotions the same way as Americans.

We don’t diagnose our feelings, like illnesses.

You may call your feelings anxiety or PTSD or whatever you wish, but really, simply, you’re sad.

You’re very sad.” Gianluca held out his hands, palms up.

“Please, if you would, put your hands in mine.”

Julia did, reluctantly, and his palms felt warm and soft. She realized she hadn’t been touched by a man since Mike, and somehow the skin-to-skin contact made her emotional. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything.

“You miss someone you loved very much, and since he died in a terrifying way, in front of you, you’re afraid to do things, to go out, to explore, to have fun, to be free. You’ve lost your peace of mind. It’s normal and reasonable. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes.” Julia did, and it lifted her burden a little.

“We experience powerful emotions, they’re as human as breathing and they change over time. They wax and wane—”

“Like the moon,” Julia interrupted him, and Gianluca nodded.

“Yes, like the moon, the tides, the seasons, all of the natural world. Your feelings will change and you’ll move through sadness. It’s just too soon.”

Julia’s throat thickened. “You think it explains Caterina, today?”

“Yes, that, too. I don’t know why you’re feeling her, but maybe you’re simply feeling more, since you’ve gone through so much.

Maybe you’re more intuitive now. Maybe she really is showing you the way.

You say you had a vision, maybe you’re more visionary than before.

Who knows?” Gianluca smiled softly. “In my belief system, it’s entirely possible that Caterina is guiding you, for a reason we don’t know and can’t know.

So you’re not creepy or crazy for feeling it, or her.

” He squeezed her hands, let them go, then took a silly bow. “End of lecture.”

Julia laughed, feeling better. “Good talk.”

“I agree. I’m enjoying getting to know you. Sorry, I go on and on.”

Julia thought, The gift of gab , but didn’t say so. “That’s so Sagittarius of you.”

Gianluca laughed, then glanced at his watch. “It’s getting late, and we should move on to Caterina’s other castle. It’s in Imola, another town on the way home.”

“Okay.” Julia turned to go, and her gaze fell on the traffic rotary on the street. She spotted a white Fiat parked among a few other cars, then wondered if she’d seen it before. She didn’t know why it mattered, but she couldn’t ignore it.

“Hey, do you see the white Fiat down there?”

Gianluca squinted, shading his eyes. “Yes.”

“We passed one on the way here. The driver was smoking a cigar.”

“That’s a Fiat 500, a common car. Why?” Gianluca blinked, and Julia saw no reason to hold back anymore.

“Do you remember when I was being followed at the Uffizi? You said you thought he wanted to ask me out? I don’t think that’s what it was.”

Gianluca frowned. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know, but a man in a black ballcap was following me.”

“Was the Fiat driver the same man?”

“No, the Fiat driver was stockier and older. He has a mustache and smokes cigars.”

Gianluca blinked. “So you think two different men are following you?”

Julia knew it would sound nuts, even to him. “Maybe?”

“We’ll check him out outside.”

Julia agreed, and they headed for the exit.

But by the time they got downstairs and crossed the drawbridge, the white Fiat was gone.