Page 38

Her words keep hammering in my head.

If this thing between us ends, you’ll be the one having to say goodbye to me.

Destiny. Choices.

Leave everything in the hands of fate?

No, we are past that.

Decisions. That’s the central point now.

We went our separate ways, then around the world. In the end we found ourselves where we were two years ago. This time, hopefully, with a different outcome.

“I’m Greek, as you already know.” I begin by giving her what she asked. Zoe is right. When we first met, in my arrogance, I didn’t share anything about myself because I thought we would have time for that later. So I continue, “I am an only child. My parents have been married for over forty years and moved to the United States when I was just three. I worked for a good part of my life between London, New York, and California.”

“I love California.”

“I thought your dream was to be a farmer.”

She lifts her head from my chest. “You remember that?”

“I do remember.”

She looks uncomfortable and changes the subject. “Where in California?”

“My house?”

“Yes.”

“The main one is in Sausalito, near San Francisco, but I also have other places in the country. New York, Chicago... My job demands a lot of travel, and I don’t like hotels.” That’s something Beau and I have in common. We both own properties across the country so we don’t have to stay in hotels.

“I understand. They are so impersonal.” She smiles. “I always miss my pillow.”

“Your pillow?” It’s only now that I realize I’m thirsty to know every little thing about her. No newspaper or research could have given me what is part of her secret world.

She smiles again and nods her head. “Yes. I have one in the shape of a boomerang, and I can’t sleep well without it. What other fields do you work in besides fashion?”

“I’d have to get my notebook. Sometimes I even get lost. I have several companies, but most are linked to fashion.”

“Did you add the exclusivity clause because you wanted me back?” she asks pointblank.

“I don’t know how to forgive people, Zoe. To be blunt, I told myself I wanted you around but didn’t give myself a real reason.”

“To get revenge.”

“Perhaps.”

“When we first met two years ago, I didn’t know what you wanted from me. I wanted you, but I thought it was impossible for a man like you to be with an inexperienced, unsophisticated girl like me. You charmed me, , and I became very depressed when I thought you were the one who hurt my friend.”

“I wasn’t to blame for the accident, Zoe, but I’m also not a saint.”

“What does that mean?”

“That I’ll go to hell, but I’ll find Mike Howard. And then, I will punish him for what he did to you. ”

“Punish in what way?”

“You don’t want to know, baby . Just keep one thing in mind: I never forget or forgive.”

“You forgave me.”

“There was nothing for me to forgive. What happened was a misunderstanding. You were wrong to leave without asking me my side of the story first, but as your mother said when we spoke, you were too young. I don’t have that excuse. I blame my Greek pride for never going after you.”

“My marriage was a mistake.”

“Because you didn’t love him?”

“That too, but mostly because I never forgot about you. And I hated myself for it. Even though I thought you were to blame for Pauline’s accident, I wanted you.”

“Then why did you get married? I mean, dating, I get it, but marriage is a very definite step.”

“I could blame my youth for that, too, but it happened less than a year ago, so it’s not a good excuse. The truth is, I was vulnerable.” She shakes her head from side to side. “If it were the other way around, it would break my heart.”

“What?”

“Seeing you married to another woman.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew I got married for all the wrong reasons, but not you. That’s not part of who you are, . The day you marry a woman, I think she will be yours forever.”

“Yes, it’s true.” Like my parents, I know that when I decide on a woman, she will be the only one for me.

“Mike and I . . . we’ve never been intimate.”

“Because he was promiscuous?”

“How do you know that?”

“I told you, Zoe. I’m not a saint. I investigated him a little when I found out you married him, but when I saw your face that day, the way the bastard had hurt you, I asked for a deeper investigation.”

“He wasn’t just promiscuous; he was much worse. Our relationship was never based on physical attraction. We exchanged no more than half a dozen kisses in the month leading up to the wedding, which was also the entire time we’d known each other. Anyway, I had barely signed my name at the registry office when I knew I had made a mistake, but I only understood the magnitude of that mistake when, on our wedding night, he told me that he would only be satisfied with group sex. I’m ashamed to tell you the rest. It’s so perverted.”

“It’s not necessary. I know everything.”

“I was very stupid to get involved with him, and my family almost paid the price for it. Bia could have died.”

“Naive, hasty, yes. Not dumb. He was a friend of your family’s.”

“Yes, it’s true.”

“There is something I need to tell you. I told you I investigated Howard, but what I didn’t say is that I ended his career at the university. That same day you left New York, right after finding out he’d assaulted you, I destroyed his professional life.”

She looks surprised but not shocked. “Is that what you meant by punishing him?”

“No, that’s what I did because he dared to hurt you. For trying to kill you, there’s no forgiveness.”

“If I said that this side of you didn’t scare me, I’d be lying.”

“But it’s who I am, Zoe. For better or worse.”

“And yet, as relentless as you were, you wanted me back.”

“It’s not something I can control.”

“And would you do it if you could?”

“I don’t know. This thing between us, I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I have never been jealous of a woman, never considered anyone as mine. But I was furious when I heard about your wedding. I wouldn’t have hired you if I’d known you were married.”

“Am I a horrible person if I say I’m glad you didn’t find out until we closed the deal? Otherwise, I don’t think we’d ever have gotten close again.”

“I don’t believe that. Life always finds a way to line up the pieces on the board. Our game wasn’t over. We barely started, and you soon abandoned the match.”

“And how much longer do you think it will take to get to the end? Even this feeling, this madness that takes over my body when you touch me, that makes me forget my own name . . . will it end?”

“Perhaps never.”

I hope never.

But she’s not ready to hear that yet.