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Chapter Forty-Two

Apparently Kitty thought the question concerning her marital status comical, because she snorted into his chest.

“Zeke. What on earth—don’t you think he’d be in here with me now if we had gotten married today?”

Liquid rage burned though him at the mere thought of James—of any man—holding Kitty the way he was right now. He drew in a deep, calming breath. Tightened his arms around her. She was here, with him. No one else.

“Never mind. That’s good. That’s all right, then.”

He sifted his fingers through her silky hair and the battle-ready tension gripping him since he’d lost track of her slowly eked out of him. Bone deep fatigue took its place, leaving him limp, save for one area of his body, which was getting harder by the second.

Unfortunately, Kitty’s quicksilver mood seemed to undergo the reverse of his.

She rolled abruptly out of his arms and sprang from the bed. “What are we doing? What am I doing, Zeke?”

He craned his head to keep her in sight as she made her way to a chair by the window and dropped into it, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

He sat up. “Kitty, I rode all day, searching for you. All. Day. My body aches and my mouth tastes like I swallowed sawdust. May I have a drink of water?”

She sniffed. “Of course.” She got up, poured a glass of water and brought it to him. He grasped her wrist and held firm as he downed the night chilled liquid in several gulps. When he set the empty glass on the bedside table, she tugged to be free of him.

“Don’t go, Kitty. Sit here beside me and tell me what’s going through that pretty, stubborn head of yours.”

After a brief hesitation, she perched on the edge of the bed, head bowed. “It’s all a mess, Zeke. You and I both know we’re biding our time. I have to do this thing. I have to, for Collin, much as I hate it. You would do no less for your family,” she added with heat.

“Then there’s you. You say you want to be sure I’m not pregnant. But you don’t understand how it is with me…”

“What don’t I understand?” He eased off one boot.

“I’m not like other women. At least I don’t think I am.”

He could have told her that much, but he wisely kept the thought to himself.

“I’ve never had the normal, you know, cycle women are supposed to have. I never know if it will be one month or six between my…um—” She broke off, wringing her hands in the darkness.

He dropped his second boot onto the floor with a thud, and leaned back to rest on one elbow. Helpless to stop himself, he reached over to caress the small of her back. She owned another nightdress, it seemed.

“I learned from other girls it should come every month. Only, for me, it never did. I always intended to ask mother about it, but never had an opportunity. I couldn’t ask Collin or Grandfather.” Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. “When it does come, it can be godawful. Cramps, mostly.”

Zeke was fairly certain no woman had ever gone into this much detail with him about her menses. Still, he had the basic idea of how the whole process worked.

He imagined Kitty as a young woman. Needing someone to talk to. Someone to care for her. But she’d had no one, save her grandfather. He wished suddenly her mother hadn’t died, so he could read her the riot act.

“I doubt I can conceive, Zeke. I would have told you if we became engaged, but we never were. Now you’re waiting for proof I’m not carrying your baby. But what if proof never comes?”

“Sweetheart, there are other ways to know if you’re pregnant.”

Her head angled swiftly toward him. “Such as?”

He’d had as much of not touching her as he could take. He reached for her, encircling her waist, and slid her toward him. He lay his other hand on her flat belly.

“For one thing, you’ll start to grow, here.”

She flapped a hand at him. “I know that much.”

He kissed her shoulder through her nightdress. “You might start feeling ill, especially in the mornings. I believe some women get a bit tender here.” His palm slid up her rib cage to cup one plump breast.

Her breath hitched, but she didn’t move except to raise her face to his. He kneaded her gently, his palm grazing over the bud of her ripening nipple.

A shuddering breath escaped her.

“Does that hurt? Or does it feel good?” He asked, not hiding the sensual edge in his voice.

He wanted her. Wanted her like he hadn’t ridden all day, avoiding stops for meals or any form of sustenance save what was necessary for his horse.

“It feels…I feel…” She spoke in a breathy little whisper. “Like you’re not taking me seriously,” she finally croaked.

She twisted away, aiming her back at him.

“I’m sorry, love. I rather thought I’d addressed your concern. If you’re pregnant, we’ll soon know, one way or another.”

She snorted softly, and he wrapped both arms around her, resting his chin on the curve of her shoulder. “As for the other thing you neglected to mention…”

“What other thing?” she asked.

“That engagement thing your brother’s wrangled you into.”

Her head moved to the side just a touch and he could practically see her rolling her eyes. “Oh, that.”

“You’re not marrying him, Kitty. You can’t.”

“Zeke—”

“You can’t, and I can’t let you. No, hear me out,” he said when she opened her mouth to argue.

“I understand about your brother. You want to make everything peachy for him. Sweetheart, give me some time to figure something out. Hell, I’m the future Earl of Claybourne.

On my name alone I can make things happen. ”

She twisted around to face him. “Do you really think you can help him, Zeke?”

“I know I can.”

“But, why? Why keep going through all the trouble, if you’re only going to turn tail and-”

He silenced her with a slow, lingering kiss. When he felt the rigidity go out of her, he dragged his mouth from hers. “Don’t move.”

He rose from the bed and fumbled around 'til he had an oil lamp burning low.

He located a clean towel and her damned lavender soap and approached the basin. He pealed off his waistcoat and unbuttoned his shirtsleeves, all the while feeling her eyes on him, which in turn kept him in a constant state of semi-arousal.

“I assume it was as much a surprise for you as it was for me that you wound up here in this out-of-the-way town, hmm?” He laid his shirt over the wooden valet beside the dresser.

“Completely. I had no idea we’d changed course ’til the horses halted in front of the inn and I awoke.”

He nodded. “You might want to cover your eyes.”

His back to her, he stepped out of his trousers, then his drawers. “So you wound up here. Were you wondering if I’d find you?” Having asked, he couldn’t not look at her.

She studied him, unblinking, lips parted.

He went rock hard, just like that.

Guileless as a newborn colt, and tempting as a siren, and he’d bet his last shilling she had no idea what she did to him.

She shook her head, as if to clear her mind, and shifted her gaze off him. “Yes.”

He should leave it at that. His resolve lasted all of two seconds. “Wondering? Or hoping?” he asked softly.

She met his gaze for a heart beat. “Hoping.”

He resisted the impulse to cross the room to scoop her into his arms. First things first. He needed to rid himself of the worst of the day’s grime, for her sake.

He splashed tepid water over himself and soaped up. “Why did your travel plans change?”

The mattress squeaked.

He glanced over his shoulder to see her slipping her legs under the covers and leaning back against the headboard.

“I asked Collin as soon as Garrick was out of earshot, and he said he’d opted to take the long way home for my benefit. And yet…”

“And yet?”

“One would think Garrick would object to any delay.”

“He didn’t?”

“He seemed more smug. Like he knew something I didn’t.”

Zeke rinsed as best he could, then scrubbed the towel over his damp skin. “You think he and your brother colluded over something?”

“Of course not. Collin wouldn’t hide anything from me. It’s Garrick I don’t trust.”

He laid the towel beside the basin.

“There is one other thing. Trifling, really.”

“Go on.”

“This afternoon, after we checked in, Collin said he wanted a feel for the festival. He made it clear he didn’t want my company.” She paused. “We had words.”

He strode for the oil lamp, extinguishing it. “Let me guess. He browbeat you some more about keeping your promise to him.”

“You always think the worst of Collin. Just because he’s had it rough these last years doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. He’s a wonderful brother.”

“A regular paragon,” he muttered. He crossed toward the bed, found the top edge of the covers and pulled them back.

“Oh. Are you”—she gulped—“getting into bed like that?”

“Like what?”

“You’re naked.”

“You’d rather I slept in those filthy garments?” He jerked a thumb in the general direction of his discarded clothing.

“I suppose not. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not? I can't tell you’re even listening.”

He slid between the cool sheets, then propped a pillow against the headboard and leaned back, his arms behind his head.

“Let me see if I’ve followed you so far. Your arrival here was a surprise to you. Hastings says he made the last minute change for your sake. James’s reaction tells you there’s another side to the story. Later Hastings went out for an afternoon stroll. Right so far?”

“Hmm,” she answered, noncommittal. “The thing is, Collin said he’d join me later for supper. But just before eight I received a note informing me he didn’t feel well, and would see me in the morning.”

Zeke felt not the least bit of sympathy. “Probably had too much festival food.”

“I suppose. Only…it’s nothing, really.”

The hair on his nape prickled. “Humor me.”

“I went out briefly, to stretch my legs, and thought I spotted that man again.”

“What man?” His eyes had adjusted so he could make out Kitty’s face.

“The man from the dining room last night. Mr Peters. To be honest, I don’t care for the look of him.”

“Are you saying Peters is in Aylesford? That you saw him?”

“I think so.”

“You think so. That’s an odd coincidence, him being here the same time as you.”

Zeke didn’t like coincidences. He crossed his arms over his chest. He had a strong sense he wouldn’t like what she said next. “Go on.”

“There I was, in the midst of the festival crowd, and I thought I recognized Collin’s chum. So I tried to catch up with him, to be sure.”

“The man you admittedly don’t like the look of. Why would you do that?”

“I found it odd him appearing here, what with Collin making the last minute detour to Aylesford. If it was him.”

“Very odd,” he said, his voice raised several octaves.

“Quiet, Zeke. You’ll wake the people in the room beside ours.”

Ours. He liked the sound of that. It mollified him sufficiently so he lowered his voice. “You’re right, of course. We don’t want to draw attention. Move a bit closer so I can hear you better.”

She hesitated a moment, as if sensing a trap. Still, she scooted to the center of the bed. “As I was saying, I tried to catch him. When he neared the tobacconist shop, I assumed he meant to go inside and make a purchase, but out of the clear blue, he turned into the alley.”

He tapped his fingers on his biceps. “Tell me you did not follow him, Kitty.”

“I didn’t. But I wish I had. Thinking he’d merely taken the alley as a short cut to the other side, I hastened through the crowd, and ’round the corner. Unfortunately by the time I got there, I’d lost him.”

Relief and fear for what might have happened co-mingled, stretching his already raw nerves to the breaking point.

“You said yourself you don’t know for certain it was the same man. Maybe he simply resembled the man you met last night. For the love of God, promise you’ll never do something like that again.”

He hadn’t realized he moved. Hadn’t realized he’d reached for her, ‘til one hand tangled in her hair, and the other encircled her low back.

“Zeke, it was still daylight, for goodness sake, in the heart of a religious festival. How dangerous could the man be?”

“When we’re married, I won’t be able to let you out of my sight, will I?”

“That’s just it, isn’t it?” she said, eyes shimmering. She half-heartedly pushed at his chest. “We aren’t going to be married because you—”

“Enough talking,” he growled. He pressed her back onto the pillows, lowered his head and kissed her.