Page 44

Chapter Twenty-Nine

K itty sat on the edge of the bed of the small room Collin had generously procured for her at the inn where they’d stopped for the night. She stared at nothing.

She should have left Zeke a letter. Something private, a proper goodbye.

She’d tried, but every time she’d picked up her pen, all she could think to write was that she loved him, and didn’t want to marry Garrick, or anyone else in the world except him.

She wanted to build a future with him , to forge a real marriage with him —none of which he’d offered.

He planned to marry her, impregnate her, then leave the country. In the end, she’d given up altogether.

She could only guess at his reaction to finding her gone. Maybe he was relieved. Maybe he hated her.

A small sob escaped her, and fat, hot tears coursed down her cheeks. She let them fall. She’d held them back all day.

Meanwhile Collin and Garrick talked, even joked, as if everything were fine. As if they hadn’t sneaked away from Chissington Hall like thieves in the night after everything the earl and Zeke had done for her.

As if Kitty’s future wasn’t forfeit.

Last night had been so…so…everything. She could still feel Zeke’s warm, aroused body pressed to hers. Could close her eyes and imagine he was here, holding her in his arms, whispering sweet nothings in her ear—which only made knowing she would soon belong to Garrick that much more repugnant.

Her stomach emitted a low growl. Little wonder since she hadn’t eaten all day. But the thought of food made her want to vomit. Had she ever been this hopeless in her entire life?

“Collin, Collin, why are you doing this to me?” she choked, dropping her head in her hands.

But she wasn’t being fair. Collin didn’t wish to ruin her life. He was simply doing what he must to recoup his title.

He’d been through so much. Enslaved. Likely beaten and starved. Kitty had to remember that. He needed her to do this to get back the life fate had so cruelly stolen from him.

A soft rap sounded at her door. Collin come to fetch her for dinner, no doubt. With a weary sigh, she scrubbed at the salty tracks on her face and dragged her feet toward the door.

Her brother stood in the hallway.

She attempted a smile.

He did not reciprocate. Instead, he hustled into the room and closed the door. “For heaven’s sake, Kitty, you look…” He broke off, eyeing her head to toe with evident disgust. “Haggard is the word that comes to mind.”

Kitty sniffled. “What a lovely thing to say,” she retorted, but with no heat. She knew she looked a fright. She’d never been an attractive crier.

“You know very well seeing you miserable makes me feel just awful. If that was your intent, you’ve succeeded.”

“I’m sorry, Collin. Of course I don’t wish you to suffer on my account.”

Collin took Kitty’s cold hands in his. “Sweetheart, listen to me. It’s just marriage. A formality really. After you’re wed, you will live in Hastings House, with me, like before.”

Like before. Except grandfather wouldn’t be there. “Where will he live?”

Collin laughed. “He as in Garrick? He’ll live there, as well, love. He will be your husband, after all.”

She repressed a shudder of revulsion. “Of course.”

“Stop looking so glum. Splash some water on your face, pinch your cheeks, and for heaven’s sake, put on a fresh gown. I’m going downstairs to see about our supper. I’ll have a quick pint, then return to fetch you. How does that sound?”

She nodded obediently.

“Give us a smile.” He chucked her under her chin.

She forced the corners of her mouth upward.

After he left, she stripped off the simple muslin traveling gown she wore and opened her trunk. She pulled out the first dress she touched. What did she care what she wore?

Except shaking out the green day dress, she saw she’d need assistance getting into it, what with all the tiny buttons running up the back. She replaced the gown, and pulled out another. The yellow linen? Hmm. It laced up the back, as well.

She dug deeper—and found a dark blue gown of watered silk. Fancier than the moment dictated, especially considering her mood, but as the velvet ribbon tightening the bodice laced up the front, it would do.

She washed at the basin, for once taking no solace from her lavender and rosemary soap.

She was pulling on her gown when Collin knocked. He hadn’t given her nearly enough time to freshen up after he’d expressly asked her to do so. How like her brother.

“It’s open, Collin. I’m just finishing.” She did her best to sound cheerful as her fingers tugged at the velvet ribbon tie.

The door swung open with unnecessary force, hitting the wall with a bang.

She glanced up—and froze. It couldn’t be. Zeke? Here? It wasn’t possible.

She must’ve spoken the thought aloud, because the man in her doorway bearing a striking resemblance to Zeke growled a response.

“The devil I can’t.” He swept into the room, golden hair wind-tossed, nostrils flaring, cheeks flushed, and coat tails flying. He looked glorious—and mad as hell.

Kitty couldn’t speak. Couldn’t form a rational thought. Not with the myriad emotions whirling within her. Joy and pain, hope and sorrow, and unbearable longing.

Zeke shook his head, as if bewildered by the sight of her. “I’ve ridden like the devil all day to find you. To save you from your abductors. And I find you like this.” He gestured toward her. “Dressing for dinner.”

Her mouth fell open. He sounded as if she’d hurt him. Zeke—who refused to care about anyone. “I…it’s just a dress.”

He took one halting step toward her, hand outstretched. “Has he touched you?” he asked in a hoarse voice, studying her with tortured eyes.

Her heart melted in her chest. “No. I’m quite safe, Zeke. It isn’t like that.”

“No?” he bit out, peeling off his overcoat and throwing it to the ground as if it were aflame. Next he stripped off his riding gloves with impatient yanks, and slapped them onto the discard pile. Shoving his fingers through his hair, he stalked toward her.

She stumbled backward until her legs hit the mattress.

“Kitty, tell me what the hell is going on here,” he said through his teeth. “One minute we’re getting married. The next you’ve disappeared without so much as a goodbye.”

She gazed up at him, hands fisted at his sides. Heat emanated from his body, and he smelled of wind, and leather, and Zeke.

“Kitty? Say something.”

“I-I left a note.”

His nostrils flared, and his jaw went rigid. “For. The. Earl.”

She had hurt him. She blinked back a fresh onslaught of tears and slumped onto the edge of the mattress.

Zeke sighed heavily and lowered to crouch before her, dropping his head onto her lap. His arms fell on either side of her thighs. “Please don’t cry, Kitty.”

Her heart ached. Literally burned. “All right,” she choked past the lump in her throat. Helpless to resist, her fingers sifted through Zeke’s silky golden hair.

A shudder went through him at her touch, and his hands coiled into fists on the bed. “I thought…I feared—” He broke off.

Why he’d come was all too clear. He’d come to save her. Again.

Meanwhile she’d skulked away at dawn, without even leaving him a note.

She’d thought only of herself. Of the fact he didn’t love her.

She’d conveniently overlooked how he’d repeatedly come to her rescue.

How he’d been there for her when her own brother had not.

She didn’t deserve this man. But he did deserve an explanation.

She took a bracing breath, and forced out the hated words that would finally free him of all obligation to her. “Zeke, I had to leave because it wouldn’t have been right to continue accepting your hospitality when…I’m marrying Garrick.”

***

Zeke’s head shot up. Had he heard correctly? Because it sounded as if she’d just blithely announced she was marrying her cousin.

She cupped his wind-burned cheeks with hands as cold as ice. “You’re free. You needn’t worry over me any longer.”

Blood hammered in his ears. He wanted to punch something. Make that some one . “This is your brother’s doing.”

She lowered her lashes, averting her gaze. “He asked me to marry Garrick, yes, but"—she bit her lip—“Garrick’s going to return the Maidstone title to him in exchange.”

At the vicious curse Zeke hadn’t realized he uttered, Kitty flinched and started to pull away. He covered one of her hands with his, holding it to his jaw, then angled his head to press a kiss into her palm.

A tremor ran through her. Good. He was beginning to think her completely inured to him.

“You’re not a piece of meat to be bartered at market. Hastings has no right to ask this of you. And you—how can you agree to such madness? After everything that’s happened?”

Her pale green eyes turned zealous. “That’s exactly why I must. Collin—he’s been through so much. How can I not do this for him? As for Garrick, I know he’s behaved in a deplorable, despicable manner, but—”

“I was talking about what happened between us,” Zeke said through clenched teeth.

His chest burned, like someone held a red-hot branding iron to the underside of his ribs.

“You gave yourself to me. You belong to me now.” As he spoke the words, his eyes roamed over her, hungry, desperate. “We made love, kitten. I put my seed in you. Even now, you may carry my babe.”

A sob caught in her throat. She shook her head.

He rose to his feet, grasping Kitty by the shoulders to bring her toe to toe with him. His gaze settled on her rosy, quivering lips. “You’re mine,” he said in a voice he barely recognized as his own.

Those soft sweet lips parted, and the tip of her tongue peeked out to dampen them in unconscious invitation.

It was too much. With a low groan he bent, claiming her mouth with his, half devouring her as he sought to vanquish the anger, fear and need roiling within him.

After a moment, a whimper sounded low in her throat, and her arms twined around his neck.