Page 12

Nine

Present

T he air is chokingly heavy with moisture as I give myself permission to read just a little more. The heat wraps around me, thick and stifling, making my shirt cling to my skin. A drop of sweat rolls down the back of my neck, but I barely notice.

Three more missed calls from an unknown number.

I clear the notifications with a swipe of my thumb.

I swear it’s as if someone gave out my number recently, and now everyone selling anything imaginable is calling me all day long. Extended warranties, surveys, donations—relentless.

I shift my focus back to the letter in my lap, the edges of the paper curled from use, from the way I’ve folded and unfolded it too many times. The ink bold, the words hit hard.

My throat tightens.

Nothing beautiful comes without a fight, but I struggle to see the beauty in anything these last months. And you were a fight, Robin. I fought for every forward step we took together. But it was worth it, don’t you think?

I started a fire just to watch it burn. That’s how it felt in the beginning.

But once it raged, it engulfed me.

And I liked it.

The screen of my phone lights up again. Unknown number. Again.

I exhale sharply, frustration curling in my chest. Maybe if I just answer and tell them to stop, they’ll actually leave me alone.

I give in and swipe to accept.

“Hello?”

A beat of silence. Then—

“You have a collect call from—” A robotic voice. My stomach drops, my pulse spiking so fast it makes me dizzy. “—an inmate at—”

I hang up.

The phone shakes in my hand as I stare at the screen, my breathing shallow.

No. No, no, no.

I set the phone down, let it slide away from me before I can see it ring again.

The fan in the corner shifts back and forth, trailing lazy circles of warmth that only stir the heavy air without cooling it.

The futility of its movement is somehow fitting.

I lean my head back against the couch and close my eyes, trying to breathe around everything pressing in on me.

The call, the words on the page, thrum in my veins like an addiction, dangerous but impossible to refuse.