Page 51 of The Surrender (Arlington Hall #2)

I left the office, but I didn’t go to Pret for lunch. I couldn’t stomach a thing. I wandered the streets of London, losing track of time, walking aimlessly.

Lost.

I didn’t return to work in the afternoon either.

It felt quite pointless. I visited my doctor, who confirmed the wound is infected and prescribed some antibiotics.

I also took the opportunity to share my recent news.

Pregnant. The doctor smiled and congratulated me.

She had me do another test to confirm it, recommended some vitamins, and told me I’d hear from the prenatal care team soon about a scan.

It was all a bit surreal.

Then I went to Abbie’s, and when she got home, I cried on her again. For an hour straight. And she just held me, silent, letting me get it all out. Except the tears won’t fucking stop coming. And the pain in my chest won’t fuck off.

“I need to get away,” I say, my words sounding as broken as I feel, as she hugs me more.

“You shouldn’t be on your own.”

“It’s what I need right now.” I pull away and smile through my tears. I have never felt pain like this. I feel like I’m grieving. “Will you help me find somewhere?”

She nods, but I can tell she’s reluctant.

I also know she’ll be putting in a crisis call to Charley.

I pull out my laptop and sit back, starting to scan my options, flicking through the various pages of places that are apparently the perfect getaway for someone who needs peace and tranquillity.

A small villa in Sorrento by the old fishing village. Quiet. Warm. Far away.

“This,” I say, scrolling through the pictures.

“I’m not sure,” Abbie says, unenthusiastic.

“About Sorrento, or me going anywhere at all?”

“The latter.” She shifts up close to me, looking at the screen. “The problem won’t go away because you do, Amelia.”

“I just need some breathing space.” My mobile starts ringing, backing me up, but I don’t check who’s calling.

“You can’t avoid him forever.”

“I won’t.” I go back to the screen and scan the flight options, taking a breath and holding it as I click to confirm the booking.

To leave this evening.

“I’ll speak to Jude before I go. I need to take the Jaguar back, anyway.”

“You’re being a bit hasty. Why do you have to go this minute?”

“Because I can’t sit here any longer crying, thinking, wondering how I could have been so stupid and why the universe has been so cruel.”

“I’ll get wine.” Abbie sighs, standing. I look up at her. “Shit, you can’t even have wine.” She lowers back to the couch.

“Shame, because I’d kill for a glass.” I go back to my computer and start drafting my letter of resignation. And hold my breath again when I send it to Gary. Out of fight. “Done.” I snap the lid of my laptop closed.

“Okay?” Abbie pats my knee.

“No,” I admit, getting up. “I’m going home to shower and pack.” I leave her with a kiss, feeling her worried eyes on me as I go.

I feel so numb as I pull through the gates of Arlington Hall. Mum’s been calling me, and despite my messaging her to tell her I’m okay, she persists. I finally relent and answer her call as I crawl up the driveway past the stream.

“I’m okay,” I say, hearing the emotion in my voice, defying my words.

“Where are you, darling? We’re all so worried. Abbie’s called, Charley’s called. And Jude. He’s called too.”

I watch the evening sun shimmering on the surface of the water.

It’s perfect. This whole place, perfect.

But not. “I’m going away,” I tell her. “Just for a few weeks to get my head together.” I’m flying out from Birmingham.

Birmingham via Oxfordshire to drop my Jaguar off and tell Jude Harrison he’s going to be a father.

“Oh, Amelia, please come home. Your dad is worried sick. He thinks you’re mad with him.”

“I’m not mad with Dad,” I assure her. “I’m mad with myself.”

“You should be with your family.”

“I should be with myself,” I say, letting my thoughts spill out.

I don’t want to make her feel guilty. Or my dad.

“I need to be with my thoughts, Mum. With my body, my emotions. Everything’s shifted so fast and unexpectedly.

” Fuck, my voice is wobbling. No. Not now.

Now, I need to be together. “I’ve got to give myself grace and time to adjust.”

“Oh, Amelia Gracie. I don’t like this. Promise me you’ll call every day,” she begs. “I don’t want you to be on your own. You’re never on your own.”

“I’ll call every day,” I assure her. “I love you.” I pull up outside the grand doors of Arlington Hall and park on the end of the row of stunning cars. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be okay.” I hang up and take a long, deep breath, then get out.

“Miss Lazenby,” Stan says, hurrying over when he sees me pulling my luggage out of the boot. “Please, let me.”

“I have a car arriving soon,” I explain. “Would you mind putting my bags in when it gets here?” I check the message confirmation. “It’s a grey BMW.”

He frowns, confused. “Um, yes. Of course.”

“Thank you, Stan.”

My lungs are starting to burn with my focused breathing as I pass through the glass doors into the lobby and see Anouska pacing on her mobile.

The second she spots me, her face falls and she abandons the call.

“Amelia,” she says, more in question. She looks so stressed, and I naturally wonder why. “It’s lovely to see you.”

I force a smile. “I’m here to see Jude.”

“Of course. He’s in his apartment.”

I nod and take the stairs, pausing when she calls my name. Glancing back, I see her shifting uncomfortably.

“He’s got company.” She’s painfully awkward, and I laugh under my breath, frozen where I stand, my feet unwilling to take me any farther.

He has company. Brilliant. “I think I’ve made a mistake,” I say, walking back down the stairs. I told myself it was the decent thing to do. To tell him he’s going to be a dad. What the hell is wrong with me and my stupid fucking choices these days?

“What?” Anouska flanks me as I walk out of Arlington Hall. “You’re leaving?”

“Yes, I’m leaving.”

“Then why did you come?”

I skid to a stop and think. Breathe. Face her. “I came because I thought it was the right thing to do.” I hold up my car keys. His car keys. “And to return the Jaguar.” I drop the fob in her palm and point to Stan. “I have a car arriving shortly. I’ll wait out here.”

“Come into the Library Bar,” she suggests, hopeful. “It’s more comfortable.”

“Honestly, I’d rather wait out here.” Anouska will never appreciate how grateful I am she didn’t let me go up to Jude’s apartment and further my humiliation. I reach for her hand. “Thank you.”

She deflates, exasperated. “I like you, Amelia. You’re smart. Please don’t let Katherine be the reason you abandon whatever it is you have with Jude.”

“It’s not Katherine,” I assure her, and she tilts her head. I laugh a little. “I wish it was just Katherine.” I have an opportunity in front of me, and I fucking hate myself for wanting to take it. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Katherine thought I was a bet.”

“Thought?”

“Jude led her to believe I was just another woman in one of the games they play. He didn’t want her to know that he was actually using me to get back at my ex.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

“Jude has a grudge with my ex. Something about bad financial advice.”

Her eyes close as she sighs. “Amelia, I—”

“Sorry.” I shake my head. I shouldn’t be grilling Anouska, making her feel bad. But then I’m talking again, unable to stop myself. “How many women before me have they bet on?”

I see her body language shift very slightly, and she glances away.

“I’ve worked for Jude since the doors of Arlington Hall opened,” she says, sounding almost wistful.

“His life and soul have gone into making this place what his mother envisaged. And he has. He’s had flings here and there, but they’ve never lasted.

He’s never been serious with anyone, and, believe me, that wasn’t only Katherine’s doing.

” She shrugs, uncomfortable. “He was different with you. The black cloud that’s hung over him for as long as I’ve known him lifted, Amelia. That’s got to stand for something.”

It stands for revenge. “It really doesn’t matter anymore.”

“And it’s not because of Katherine?”

My head shakes. “I have to go.” I pull my phone out to check my Uber app. It’s fifteen minutes away. “Do you think someone can get my bags to the main gate? I feel like a walk.”

“Sure.” She waves Stan over. “I hope to see you again.” Her arms come up, and I walk into them, hugging her, neglecting to tell Anouska that she likely will be seeing me again. When I drop off or pick up my child.

If Jude wants to see it.

“Thanks for everything.” Releasing her, I collect my handbag, but I only make it a few paces.

I hear someone call, “Miss Lazenby!” and I stop, looking back. A man in whites is coming towards me, drying his hands on a tea towel. “I just had to apologise personally,” he says. He must catch my frown. “Sorry, I’m Henry, the executive chef here at Arlington Hall.”

“Oh, hi.” I turn to face him. “Apologise for what?”

“I run a tight ship, Miss Lazenby. I was mortified when I heard what happened with the Eton Mess.”

“Oh God.” I smile softly. “Please, mistakes happen.”

“Not on my watch. She should never have been allowed the opportunity to do that.”

“Who shouldn’t have been allowed the opportunity to do what?” I ask, confused, seeing Anouska move in closer, listening.

“What are you talking about, Henry?” she asks.

“Katherine,” he goes on. “She was seen loitering around the kitchen on the evening Miss Lazenby had her allergic reaction to the Eton Mess, which, of course, has never had nuts in the recipe.”

“Oh God,” Anouska breathes, shaking her head, while I stare at Henry in disbelief.

“Did Jude know about this?” I don’t know why I’m asking. A very clear flashback of Saturday night at Evelyn’s has just hit me.

I swear, if I find out you had anything to do with it, I’ll ruin you.