Page 20

Chloe

I stand on the porch, the scent of the sea drifting around me as Jackson's gaze meets mine. Sitting next to him at dinner and not being able to touch him all evening has been killing me. I can practically feel the heat of his body stretching across the gap between us as we stand in front of my parents’ house before he heads home.

In the fading light of the day, the lines and hollows of his face are emphasized, and my chest tightens. How on earth is this sexy guy actually my boyfriend?

“Tonight went well I think,” I say, my voice tight with nerves. I can barely hold it together. I need to touch him so badly.

“Your Mom and Dad are good fun.”

I smile. “And they only embarrassed me once.”

“A parent’s duty I guess.” He shifts closer, his hand slipping around my hip. I almost gasp at the contact. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“When?” God, I sound so stupidly eager but the idea of a day apart from him is killing me.

“After work? What shift are you doing?”

“I’m free all day.”

“I’ll call on you when I’m done at the garage.”

“I wish I could see you sooner.”

Jackson’s eyes crinkle. “It’s only a day and I’m here now.”

I skim a hand up his chest, letting it rest upon the solid warmth of his body and feeling his heart beat against my fingertips.

“You are,” I whisper.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day,” he confesses.

I almost sigh with relief. I’m so glad I’m not the only one feeling like this.

He leans in, his lips brushing against mine softly at first, then with growing intensity. Tingles spread through my body, and I instinctively press closer, craving more of his touch.

Jackson slides his hand to cup under my hair. I'm lost in the sensations—the warmth of his body, the taste of his lips, the urgent way his hand presses against my spine.

I tilt my hips into him, feeling the hardness of his body as desire flares through me. It’s crazy how strongly I feel about Jackson. I’ve never felt this way before.

Jackson slowly breaks away and presses a tender kiss to my forehead.

I must make a disappointed sound as he chuckles against my skin and draws back. "Your parents' porch probably isn't the best place for this." His voice is gravelly

I feel a flush creep up my neck as reality crashes back. Right. We're on my parents' front porch in full view of nosy neighbors and potentially my mom peering through the curtains.

"You're probably right," I say reluctantly.

Jackson's eyes crinkle as he smiles, clearly amused by my disappointment. "Don't worry, we've got plenty of time," he promises, voice low.

As Jackson heads down the path to his truck, I lean against the porch railing, watching him go. My lips still tingle from our kiss.

Part of me is grateful for Jackson's self-control—I definitely don't need my parents or the whole neighborhood gossiping about us making out on the porch.

But another part of me is frustrated, wanting to throw caution to the wind and just be with Jackson without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

Another, more persistent part of me, doesn’t know what to think. How did I go from being called frigid by Brendan to wanting so much more with Jackson? How can I even be ready for something more? Jackson’s older than me, more experienced. It would be stupid to rush into anything.

I slip inside and dash upstairs to my room, closing the door behind me with a soft click.

Flopping onto my bed, I grab my phone. My fingers hover over Sara's contact. She's been blowing up my phone ever since I told her about Jackson and me becoming "official." I hesitate, then hit FaceTime.

Sara’s grinning face pops onto the screen. "Chloe! Finally. I’ve been dying here.”

I roll my eyes. "I told you everything all ready.”

“No, it’s still not enough. I want every little detail.”

“Well, we just kissed. Like, really, really kissed."

Sara squeals, making me wince and turn down the volume. "So, how was it? Is he a good kisser? I bet he's a good kisser."

"It was...intense," I admit, my voice dropping to a whisper even though I'm alone. "But then he pulled away, and I just...I don't know."

Sara frowns. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I sigh, picking at a loose thread on my comforter. "No, nothing happened. That's kind of the problem. I mean, I get why he stopped, we were on my parents' porch. But..." I trail off, unsure how to voice the doubts swirling in my head.

"But you wanted more?" Sara prompts gently.

I nod, feeling my face heat up even more. "Is that bad? I mean, we just started this whole thing, and I don't want him to think I'm...I don't know, too eager or something."

"Chloe," Sara says, her voice firm. "There's nothing wrong with wanting more. You're allowed to have desires, you know."

I let out a shaky breath. "I guess. It's just...after everything with Brendan, I feel so...inexperienced. What if Jackson thinks I'm too innocent or something?"

Sara's face lights up with a wide grin. "Chloe, babe, you're overthinking this. First of all, you and Jackson are so perfect for each other. It’s like…the brains and the brawn—”

“Jackson is hardly stupid. He’s created so much business for his dad since he joined the repair shop—”

“And Jackson is a great guy and clearly worships the ground you walk on. Anyone can see that,” she continues ignoring me. “He won’t think anything but the best of you.”

"I hope you’re right.”

"Secondly," she continues, her voice taking on a more reassuring tone, "it's totally okay to take things slow. There's no rulebook for relationships, you know? And trust me, Jackson likes you for who you are. He's not expecting some wild party girl."

I bite my lip, considering her words. "You’re right.

"Of course I am," Sara says confidently. "He’s known you long enough to know what you’re like and he’s not like Brendan.” She makes a face “He’s not going to pressure you but he’ll be honest.”

“God, Sara, my head feels such a mess. I thought things would be easier now we’re together and they are amazing but—”

“You’re too much of a planner. You just need to go with the flow and be honest with Jackson. If you’re super horny for him, tell him.”

“Gross.” But it’s not a lie. I am super horny for him. But I’m also scared. What do I tell him? Oh, hey, Jackson, I kind of really want sex with you but also I’m terrified I’ll be rubbish or that I’ll hate it and—

“Chloe, stop overthinking.”

I force my attention back to my phone. “You’re right of course.”

“I’m always right.”

“I just wish it was simpler. It feels like it’s only going to get harder, especially with Ethan coming home unexpectedly. I thought he was planning to travel all summer.”

“So what?”

"They're best friends, Sara,” I remind her, “and I'm Ethan's little sister. What if this messes everything up?"

Sara rolls her eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't get stuck. "Oh, please. Your brother can suck it."

"Sara!"

"What? It's true," she says unapologetically. "We're not living in medieval times, Chloe. You're allowed to date whoever you want, even if it's your brother's best friend. Ethan doesn't get a say in this."

“I know, I know. I just can’t stop worrying about it.”

Sara tilts her head. “It’s easy to say stop worrying, I know, but you really do need to. You’ve been wound up so tightly since you started dating Brendan that I think you’ve forgotten how to relax.”

“I’m working on it,” I protest.

“Oh yeah, sounds like it.” She shifts the phone close to her face. “Just remember you’re in control. No one else. You.”

I gnaw on the end of my thumb and nod. “I’m in control,” I repeat and sigh. “Now I’m bored with talking about me. Please tell me you have some gossip or drama in your life.”

Sara rests her chin on her hand and flashes a smile. “No drama here. I’m perfect, don’t you know?”

I laugh. “Why do introverts always attract extroverts?”

“Someone has to adopt you or you’d all hide away forever.”

We chat for a few more minutes before saying goodnight. As I end the call, I flop back onto my bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to my ceiling.

I close my eyes and recall the feel of Jackson’s lips on mine. Sara’s right. I’ve been so caught up in worrying—about my parents, about being the perfect girlfriend—that I don’t know how to stop.

It’s time to start afresh and being with Jackson is the perfect time to do that. He cares for me and I know he’d never do anything to hurt or upset me. With Jackson, I can finally be myself. It’s time to stop letting my history with Brendan mess with my head.