Page 13

Jackson

T he sand crunches under my feet as I scan the beach, searching for Chloe among the cluster of friends near the water.

My heart skips when I spot her standing apart from the group, her hair dancing in the breeze as she stares out at the waves.

Even from here, I can sense the weight on her shoulders.

Had Brendan been harassing her again? If he has, I swear I’ll kill him.

I approach carefully. "Hey, Chloe," I say, keeping my tone light.

She turns, a flicker of surprise crossing her face before she manages a small smile. "Oh, you’re here."

I lift a shoulder. “I said I would be.”

Chloe’s lips curve slightly, but up close, the sadness in her eyes is unmistakable. "Of course."

I want to reach out and comfort her, but I hold back. "Beautiful day, huh?" I gesture at the sparkling water.

"Yeah, it's nice."

I study her for a moment, debating how to proceed. It would be a hell of a lot easier if she didn’t look so cute. Her legs seem impossibly long in denim shorts, and her pink t-shirt stands out against her summer tan.

I need to get a grip. Something is clearly wrong, and she doesn’t need me perving on her right now.

"Everything okay? You seem a little quiet today."

Chloe shrugs, her gaze dropping to the sand. "I'm fine."

I'm not buying it, but I don't want to push too hard. "Brendan's not giving you any more trouble, is he?"

Her head snaps up, eyes widening slightly. "No, he's..." She pauses, brow furrowing. "Actually, he's been keeping his distance lately. Which is...good, I guess."

"That's good to hear."

We stand in silence for a moment, watching the waves crash against the shore. I'm hyper-aware of Chloe's presence beside me, the faint scent of something sweet mixing with the salty air.

Chloe's gaze drifts back to the waves, her hair whipping in the breeze and sticking to her glossy lips. She tugs the strands away from her mouth, and I can’t help but imagine leaning in to kiss her until she forgets whatever is bothering her.

"How did you know?" she asks suddenly, her voice barely audible over the crash of the surf. "About Brendan, I mean."

“Tyler overheard something. Your friends have been worried about you.”

She turns to face me, her gaze narrowing. "You talked to him, didn't you?"

Busted. "I might have had a word with him.”

"Jackson, you didn't have to—"

"I wanted to," I interrupt gently. "You deserve better than that, Chloe."

Her lips quirk. “Was he scared?”

“Looked like he wanted to piss his pants.”

Chloe laughs, but the sound fades quickly. She looks down, kicking at the sand with her bare toes. Her smile drops. "Sorry. I’m not in the best of moods today. You don’t have to hang out if you don’t want. I don’t even think Brendan will turn up, so we don’t have to play pretend."

“I’ve got nowhere else to be.”

I wait, giving her space to continue.

She takes a deep breath, and when she looks up, her eyes glisten. "My dad...he's not doing well. The depression's getting worse, and I just...I don't know how to help."

“That sucks.” My heart aches for her. I want to pull her into a hug, but I hold back. “I'm here if you want to talk about it."

Chloe nods, wiping at her eyes. "Sometimes I get so angry, you know? And then I feel guilty for being angry. It's like this endless cycle, and I don't know how to break it."

I take a chance and place a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay to feel that way, Chloe. Your feelings are valid."

"My mom does her best, but I know it stresses her out, and I know I should feel bad for my dad, but sometimes I just…resent him. I resent what he puts Mom through.” She leans into my touch. "I just wish things could go back to the way they were. When I was little, when everything felt...simpler."

"I know it's hard to see right now," I say carefully, "but your parents love each other a lot."

“They do.”

“And they love you too.”

She grimaces. “I know I’m lucky to have both of them. I’m sorry if I seem insensitive.”

I wave a hand. “It’s only ever been me and Dad. I don’t really know any different.” I take a deep breath. "But, you know, I kind of get it. In a way."

Chloe looks up at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I start, my voice a little rough, "growing up without a mom meant watching my dad struggle.” I draw in a deep breath. “It’s hard to love someone I didn’t even know, and sometimes, I resent her too.” I grimace at the admission.

“I know it’s not her fault she got sick and died, but I get mad she didn’t fight harder, you know? ”

"How do you cope?" she asks softly.

"Honestly? Not always well," I admit. "There’s a reason I had a bad rep when I was younger. I was pretty pissed off at Mom for leaving us.”

“I get it.”

“But I learned that it's okay to have bad days. It's okay to be angry or sad. What matters is that you don't let those feelings consume you."

Chloe nods, her eyes fixed on the horizon. "I'm so sorry you’ve had to go through that, Jackson."

"Thanks," I say, my throat tight. "I just wanted you to know...you're not alone in this, okay?"

“Likewise,” she says, nudging me.

I sling an arm around her shoulders, telling myself it’s only because some of her friends are watching. It seems like the sort of thing a boyfriend would do.

And nothing to do with the fact all I want to do is hold her and take her pain away.

“Have you ever thought about talking to someone? You know, professionally?" Chloe's eyes widen slightly, and I quickly add, "Or even just someone you trust. It doesn't have to be a therapist. I'm here if you ever need to talk, day or night."

"I...I don't know, Jackson. It's not that simple." "I mean, my parents have enough on their plate.” She bites her lip, her gaze dropping to the sand. “I don’t know how I’d even tell them I wanted therapy. I think it would hurt them too much.”

"I get that," I say softly. "But Chloe, it's okay to need help sometimes.”

"But what if I make things worse? What if I'm just being selfish?"

“I know you’ve always tried not to add to your parents' struggles. But it's okay to ask for help, Chlo. Your parents are grown adults. They can handle it.”

Her chin wobbles, and a single tear escapes, rolling down her cheek. I swipe it away with my thumb, and she leans into my touch, making my breath stutter.

I hear her gulp down a breath. “I guess I never realized how much I keep to myself,” Chloe admits. “It always seemed simpler to be a good girl and solve my problems myself.”

“I’m certain your parents wouldn’t want that for you.”

“Probably.”

She shifts slightly toward me, and I can’t resist any longer. I draw her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her and enveloping her in my hold.

She feels so damned perfect there.

Eventually, she draws back and rubs the end of her nose. “I guess I’ll try to talk to Mom.”

“I think she’d appreciate it. She loves you and wouldn’t want you keeping things from her.”

She stills. “Ugh.”

“What’s up?”

“I think I just realized this is why I put up with Brendan for so long. I just wanted something for me. Some attention, maybe.” She claps a hand to her forehead. “What an idiot. I’d have married him in the end if he hadn’t broken up with me.”

I try not to curl a fist at the idea of her marrying that asshole. “You’re not an idiot, Chloe. You just needed love, and you thought Brendan could give that to you.”

“I’m beginning to be really, really grateful he cheated on me.”

I draw her back into my side. “Me too.”

More grateful than she’ll ever know. Her and Brendan together for life is an image I don’t think I could take.

“Hey, look at that cloud.” I point to the sky in a bid to lighten the mood. “Looks like a dog.”

She wrinkles her nose and eyes it. “You’re such a nerd.”

“You can’t tell me it doesn’t look just like a dog.”

“More like a kangaroo.”

“Okay, you must need your eyes tested because that’s definitely a dog.”

“The ugliest dog I’ve ever seen,” she counters.

“Hey, don’t insult the dog. He can’t help how he looks.”

Chloe laughs, and we slowly walk away from the noise of everyone gathered at the beach, my arm still around her as if there’s nothing more natural.

As we joke around, I can't help but marvel at how natural this feels. Just me and Chloe, walking and talking like we've been doing it for years. It's easy to forget that this is all supposed to be an act.

“I guess we actually ought to take part in this beach party.” Chloe glances up at me. “Thanks for talking me down.”

“Anytime.” We turn around, but I keep my arm casually around her shoulders, and she doesn’t seem to mind it.

"There you two are!" Emma calls out as we approach. "We were about to send out a search party!" She comes closer and hands us both a Coke. “And Brendan is here with his...I don’t know what she is…” she says in a low tone.

“You know what,” Chloe says, lifting her chin. “I don’t even care.”

Emma laughs. “Thank God.”

Chloe cracks open the can of Coke and meets my gaze. “Ready to play boyfriend again?”

I nod and flash a grin, pulling her possessively close to me. “More than ready.”