Page 7

7

CAMERON

“…Hello?” I groggily answered my phone. I was still half asleep, sunlight creeping in through my cabin window. “Who is this?”

I’d barely gotten enough sleep last night, tossing and turning the whole time. I just kept thinking about Levi, how it felt working alongside him, how in sync we were. It seemed like Levi and I were in sync about a lot of things, in a lot of ways. There was an understanding between us that I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before, with anyone, a kind of unspoken bond that reverberated in the air around us.

And yet, I had no idea if Levi even felt the same thing. Did he feel like we were connected like that? Or did he see me the same way he saw Teddy, as just another tourist on the ranch, someone passing through who he liked well enough?

Did I mean anything to him, at all?

“There he is! There’s my star.” My manager was on the other end of the line. “How have you been, kid? How’s life in the middle of nowhere treating you?”

“Is this a new number or something?” I pressed. “Why didn’t your name pop up on my caller ID?”

“Because I knew if I called you from my work phone, you wouldn’t have answered.” He laughed. “I know how you get when you’re researching for a role. Talking to your manager, oh, how inauthentic! Cowboys don’t have managers, right? Well, cowboys don’t have potential brand deals coming down the pipeline, either?—”

“Brand deals?”

“Get this. Boot Scoot wants to make you the official face of their newest line of boots for men! They’re the ones with all the cow prints and tassels. Usually, not your style, but for the right price, I think you’ll like what they have to offer. I’m also getting calls from a popstar’s creative directing team. She’s an A lister and she wants you to be the romantic lead in her next music video. It’s gonna be a western. Doesn’t that sound exciting? I can’t tell you who until we sign the paperwork?—”

“But we haven’t even shot the movie yet. What if I show up to set and Antonio Cruz hates what I’m doing with the character? What if I’m not his perfect cowboy?”

“Oh, he’s not going to replace you, if that’s what you’re worried about, kid. Your contract is ironclad. I should know because I wrote it.” He laughed again. “Besides, haven’t you been online, at all? Everyone loves you for this role. They’re saying it’s pitch perfect casting. There are already people making memes about elbowing to the front of the movie theater just to get a better look at your face up on the screen.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Something inside me sank. “I don’t know if I’m in the right headspace for discussing this right now.”

“Sure, sure. We can figure all this out when you get back,” he replied. “But do you think it’d be possible for you to upload a few photos of your process on social media? Maybe a picture of you riding a horse. Hanging out with a cow. The studio thinks it’d be great if people can get a little taste of you in the cowboy aesthetic?—”

“Right. I’ll call you back in a few days maybe?—”

“Don’t lie. We both know I’ll be the one calling you back,” he joked. “And we’ll chat soon. Love ya, and don’t forget, nobody does this shit like you do, Cameron. So, don’t overthink it, just think it, and it’ll get done.”

* * *

“Let me guess. A city boy.”

I was sitting near the back of Canyon Creek Diner, staring at the menu but not really reading it. The conversation with my manager had only stressed me out more than I already was, my head still spinning with thoughts about Levi. I just needed to get away from the ranch for a while, try to collect my thoughts, try to calm down. I wasn’t ready to be the face of cowboy culture, let alone cowboy anything , not if it meant Levi finding out that I was just here doing research for a part.

Not if it meant Levi finding out that I’d been taking notes on him like a goddamn lab project.

I just wasn’t ready for him to find out the truth.

“Hello? Earth to city boy?” The woman stared down at me with a hand on her hip. “I don’t have all day to wait around on you, city boy. This isn’t like wherever you’re from. You don’t just get to waste my time.”

“Sorry.” I offered her an apologetic look. “My head feels like it’s in a million different places lately.”

“It’s all right, city boy.” She smiled. “I just wanted to make sure you understood the rules. I’m Jolene. I own the place. Which means that I get to make the rules. Do you understand?”

“Completely.” I nodded. “I’m Cameron. I’m staying at Stratton Ranch. Trying to figure out if I want to run my own farm someday or?—”

“You look awfully familiar, Cameron.”

“I do?” Nerves shot right through me, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest.

Jolene hummed before she snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it. You look just like Gareth! From the Honeydew franchise. I’ve never really cared for any of that stuff, but my niece is obsessed with it. Oh, if she saw you, she’d be trying to climb you like a tree. But I bet you get that comparison all the time, don’t you?”

“A few times, here and there. But I don’t know. I don’t really see the resemblance.”

“Really? You don’t see the resemblance? You might need to get your eyes checked, sweetheart, because you’re practically twins.” Jolene chuckled as she went on. “Anyway, let me get you started with some coffee. You look exhausted. But when I get back, you better have your mind made up about some food.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

Jolene playfully winked at me as she left the table, like she knew something that she wasn’t letting on about.

Shit.

Was that her way of letting me know that she recognized me? Was she trying to give me the opportunity to either lean into it or lean away from it? If so, it was an extremely considerate move, but still very concerning. I wasn’t going to last much longer in Paradise Valley if Jolene started telling people that Cameron Clarke was in town, complete with where I’d be staying for the duration of my trip.

The paparazzi would love to get pictures of me out here, playing up the cowboy role.

And the studio would love it too.

The rest of my breakfast was strained and guarded, scarfing down my food and coffee like I was on the run. I barely tasted any of it, my mind too focused on how to hide in plain sight, trying to figure out how to keep up appearances until the last possible moment. I was starting to feel like I was standing in the middle of an iced over lake, cracks growing all around me, my legs suddenly feeling heavier than they’d ever been.

Except when I broke through the ice, I wouldn’t just be slipping underneath the water by myself.

I might be taking Levi with me; my lies catching up with the both of us.

* * *

“You must be Cameron.” There was a man sitting in Levi’s office, his attention on the laptop in front of him. He turned to greet me fully, with his hand outstretched. “I’m Shane. Levi’s cousin.”

I’d come over to Big Sky Rescue after my stressful breakfast, hoping that spending some time with Levi would calm me down. I knew that it wasn’t fair to use him as a source of comfort when I wasn’t being honest with him, but I couldn’t help it. Levi was the only person at Stratton Ranch who seemed to get me, intrinsically. Besides, even if we could never be anything other than friends, a friend was exactly what I needed right now.

I took his hand, shaking it politely. “I don’t know if there’s a nice way to say this, but would you say you’re more of a normal Stratton or an, uh, eccentric Stratton?”

“So, you’ve met Virgil.” Shane smirked. “He’s an acquired taste. It just takes some time.”

“Which means you’re a normal Stratton.” I let out a playful sigh of relief. “Phew.”

“I can see why Levi likes you.” Shane turned back towards his computer. “He told me about how you assisted him with that hiker. Sounds like it was harrowing.”

“It was.” I shrugged. “But if it wasn’t us, then who, right? Someone had to save him.”

“You’re awful helpful for a guest.”

“Should I not be?”

“I’m just not used to people from the city being so willing to get their hands dirty, maybe even bloody,” he replied. “I think there might be something else to you, Cameron Miller.”

“Something else like what?” My body felt like it was on fire. I’d come here so someone could help me calm down, not make things even worse.

“I don’t know. Something.” Shane typed something on his screen. “I think there’s something you want, but you’re not saying what it is. Not yet.”

“Well, you know I’m here to see what it’s like running a ranch?—”

“There’s something else,” he interrupted. “But I also think you seem like an honest guy. I think you’ll tell us what it is you really want. Eventually.”

“Shane? What are you doing here—Cam?” Levi suddenly stepped into his office, looking between us. “Were you two having a meeting in here or something?”

“You were the one who invited me here. Remember?” Shane quirked an eyebrow. “You said you needed help with inventory.”

“Oh, right. That was like weeks ago.” Levi blew out a breath. “Well, let’s get on it, then. Cam? Do you mind helping out?”

* * *

I was staring over at Shane, as we stood behind the office.

We were looking through first aid kits, portable water heaters, tents, tactical knives, compasses, flashlights, duct tape, fire starters, space blankets, tarps, granola bars, and a bunch of other stuff that I didn’t recognize by looking at it. The goal was to make sure everything was still up to snuff, since it would’ve been a disaster on top of a disaster if Levi needed to make an emergency shelter and the tent he grabbed on the way out had holes in it.

I was finding it harder and harder to pretend like everything was okay, my looks over at Shane getting more nervous each time. Did he already know who I was? Was he like Jolene, trying to give me the opportunity to confess? Or was Shane just unnervingly wise, the kind of person who didn’t often speak, but when they did, it was like a lightning strike?—

“Are you okay?” Levi asked, now standing beside me. “You seem a little shaken up.”

“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’m good.”

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

“I slept fine,” I lied again. “Sorry if I seem off. Maybe I had too much for breakfast. I was at Canyon Creek Diner and ordered the Canyon Special?—”

“Uh, yeah. That’ll do it.” Levi laughed. “That comes with like a huge stack of pancakes.”

“They were delicious, though.” Another lie, since I’d barely tasted my breakfast.

“In that case, since you’re so full from breakfast,” he continued. “Would you want to get something for dinner? We could go into town and?—”

“I need to pee!” I said it way too loud. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh. Uh…” Levi watched as I practically sprinted away from him towards the nearest bathroom. When I got there, I made sure to stay for at least five minutes, wanting to make it seem like I’d actually used the facilities. The entirety of that five minutes was instead spent freaking out, wondering if Shane would tell Levi about who I really was, wondering if Levi’s dinner invitation would be rescinded as soon as I got back.

Fuck.

I can’t be like this.

I need to get it together.

Now.

I did some deep breathing, forcing down gulp after gulp of air. When I’d managed to calm myself down to a manageable level of anxiety, I headed back towards Big Sky Rescue. But when I got a few feet away from Levi and Shane, I could see them talking in a hushed tone. My curiosity getting the better of me, I stayed back, leaning against a nearby structure. I was close enough to hear their conversation but not be seen, even if I had to strain to listen.

“…It feels like I’m pushing against a tide that no one else sees,” Levi started. “All this work I’m doing, all of this client chasing. And for what?”

“To break even,” Shane replied. “To maybe even be profitable, down the line.”

“It’s just so hard keeping it all together sometimes.”

“But this is what you want, Levi. It’s your dream.” Shane moved closer to him. “I know I haven’t always been the best at supporting you, but I know how much this place means to you. You can’t just give up on it.”

“Would anyone even notice if I did?” Levi let out a pained laugh. “Dad would be annoyed that I wasted so much time on it. He’d be secretly happy I let it go, though.”

“Which is why you’re not letting it go.” Shane shook his head. “Joseph Stratton doesn’t get to be happy. Not when it comes to this.”

“It’d just be so much easier.” Levi’s sigh came out wounded. “I’m just so tired of it all, Shane.”

I sank down against the wall I’d been leaning on, not stopping until I hit the floor. I was no longer able to hear their conversation, but that didn’t stop the hurt unfurling in the center of my chest. I was on the verge of tears, thinking back on what Levi had said, the thought of him giving up on his dream feeling like a knife to my own heart.

I wanted to pull him into my arms and never let him go. I wanted to rush across the ranch and kiss him like he was mine, wanting him to feel that way, too, like even if everything else crumbled he could always come home to me?—

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

What was I thinking? Levi and I weren’t together .

So, why did it feel like we were so intertwined? Why was Levi able to make me feel things I hadn’t felt in years? Why did I care so much about protecting him from the truth?

I needed to put some distance between us. For my sake and for his. At least, that way, if Levi ever found out who I really was, he wouldn’t be so upset with me, because it wasn’t like I’d been hanging around him lately. I’d be a minor annoyance instead of a major betrayal, the difference between him stepping on a pointy pebble and someone stabbing him in the back.

I just needed to be by myself for a while.

It was the only way to protect us both from more pain.