Page 44 of The Space Traveller's Lover
OBLIVION
You are Rothwen’s great dilemma, the kind he has never faced before.
As Shaillah returns to her smartroom, she goes to her balcony to contemplate the beauty of the starry night sky, the stars and constellations as seen from Rom-Enjie.
She looks towards Earth’s location, but she can’t discern even the Sun.
She zooms in on that particular patch of the sky with a thought-command, focusing on a yellow, ordinary star and then on the third of its orbiting planets.
She had thought she had freed herself from her past, but Earth’s serene and captivating image confirms otherwise. “My world—so distant and yet so close, so humble and yet so beautiful,” she murmurs, letting all her nostalgic feelings take over her mind.
But soon, the thoughts of impending doom and destruction come back like a black whirling cloud, whizzing around her head, taking hold of her reasoning.
Why do I feel so uneasy? she asks herself. Something is troubling me—something way dark. I must go and talk to Zula, she will help me clear my thoughts .
She knows she still has time before sunrise, but she hurries out of her room and into the space-tunnel, taking her into the quasi-reality chamber, the gateway to Zula-Or’s realm .
She sets up the four-dimensional coordinates in her mind before jumping into the dark abyss as the swallowing mist of swirling particles revolves around her. Even before the city’s images come into sharp focus, she is nearing her destination.
As she reaches the contour of Zula-Or’s spiky tower, she touches the bright circle on the wall with her index finger. She launches herself forwards, disappearing into the undulating mirror and transcending into the virtual tunnel.
Zula-Or is already waiting in her ethereal gemstone garden by the shimmering lake. The wise lady holds her head high in an expectant pose, sitting on her regal chair under an elaborate crystal chandelier.
As Zula-Or makes out Shaillah’s silhouette getting sharper through the bubbling haze expanding in front of her, she leans forwards, her face beaming with a broad welcoming smile.
They blend into an emotional embrace, feeling the warmth and the uplifting energy of their presence, excited that they can share the same time and space again, albeit for a short time.
“Welcome, Shaillah, look at you!” Zula-Or cheers, holding Shaillah’s hand and making her body spin around. “You look fantastic!”
“It’s been such a long time since we last spoke, my dear lady. I’m sorry.” Shaillah bows, holding her palms together as a sign of respect.
“Don’t worry, my child. Time is not something that bothers me, as you know,” Zula-Or replies in her usual soothing honeyed tone as she leads Shaillah towards the glittering lakeshore. “The most important thing is … the moment, the realisation. It’s great having you here now.”
Shaillah got to admire and respect Zula-Or as the wise lady patiently guided her through her journey into the Rom-Ghenshar world.
Zula-Or was always there for her, to listen to her fears and self-doubt, to break the barriers of her self-imposed limits, and to help her learn to be bold, curious, and daring, the Rom-Ghenshar way.
“Today, I’ve had a dark premonition.” Shaillah’s quivering voice unveils her uneased disposition. “It made me feel—” She gazes upwards, her eyes fixated on the prickly branches hanging over her head. “It made me feel as if the whole world came crashing down on me.”
“Is it because of your impending journey? Or is it because of something else?” Zula-Or sharply asks .
But Shaillah doesn’t respond, her eyes still fixated on the intricate branches over her head, deep in thought.
“Oh, how silly of me. Why am I asking this?” Zula-Or says in a self-reproaching tone. “Rothwen, he is so unpredictably harsh—”
“It is not about him!” Shaillah snaps as she starts walking impatiently by the lakeshore.
“You will learn the hard way, but you will learn,” Zula-Or warns, walking alongside Shaillah while peering into her face. “He is taking advantage of your inexperience. But you must not fall, not even a slip. Be strong, and you will prevail. That’s always been my dictum.”
“It is not about him,” Shaillah repeats dismissively.
All the while, Zula-Or can perceive a subtle, albeit repressed, cry for help.
“I went through the same distress, the same. And I don’t want you to suffer as I did. That is why I gave you the Quark-Star diamond, the energy giver, our token of strength and courage … because I knew it was not going to be easy.”
“And I thank you so much, my dear lady!” Shaillah gratefully replies, firmly holding her diamond as Zula-Or cuts across her pace, making her suddenly stop.
“Don’t take his mood swings seriously. Don’t let it blur your mind,” Zula-Or says while softly stroking Shaillah’s forehead, trying to soothe her with a gentle reassuring gaze. “You’ll soon grow out of it. You’ll be stronger and wiser, like a true Rom-Ghenshar.”
Shaillah nods with a broad smile as she acknowledges Zula-Or’s words. “You are right, Zula. Why should I even consider worrying about Rothwen? It’s not for me to be distracted by those weakening feelings.”
“Ah, that’s my girl!” Zula-Or gloats, lifting Shaillah’s arms while stepping back, leading her around the elegantly drooping branches.
“The thing is, Zula, when I last saw Rothwen … he seemed troubled—to the point that got me thinking the worst. Then I said my last goodbye to my best friend Sam but nearly killed his sister. It’s all piling into my mind like a doomsday finale.
” She sighs, her darting eyes clashing with Zula’s persistent gaze .
“Oh, I see. So it is about Rothwen,” Zula-Or surmises. “As for your best friend and his sister, I can assure you … you won’t have to worry about them for much longer.”
“What do you mean?” A sharp pain slashes through Shaillah’s chest. Zula-Or’s ominous words make her restless.
“Well, Rothwen was going to tell you before departure. He is leaving it up to the last minute because he knows the consequences. But I might as well tell you now. It will be the end of the human race by the time you leave their planet,” Zula-Or reveals in a spiteful tone.
“The end?” Shaillah quivers as her shock turns into despair. She rests her back against one of the glassy tree trunks, trying to digest Zula-Or’s grim news.
“It is all about neutralising any potential danger, now or in the future , ” Zula-Or adds matter-of-factly.
Shaillah looks upwards again, trying to find some solace in the rainbow-like reflections of the overhanging branches as she starts thinking ahead, imagining all kinds of frightening endings.
Zula-Or grabs Shaillah’s chin, making her look directly into her penetrating eyes while adding in a poignant tone, “Shaillah, we are like tireless nomads. We never settle, never stop advancing. Of course, it was different the first time. We had to flee for our lives, and we lost many of our people. But never again, never again!” Zula-Or tenses up her body in a triumphant posture.
Still, a drawn-out self-satisfied grin slowly softens up her face as she gloats, “Since then, we have confronted many dangers and surpassed many obstacles. And we always come through, ever victorious. Suan enjie … you may ask how.”
“How?” Shaillah straightens up her body and expectantly raises her eyebrows.
“We close all the paths that could outsmart or outmanoeuvre us, in any shape or form.” Zula-Or boasts while swaying her arm into the air as if wielding a long sharp sword.
“How?” Shaillah asks again, her desperate gaze fixed on the impassive wise lady.
“We eliminate any other intelligent life we find.” Zula-Or’s unwavering voice sends a clear signal to Shaillah that there is no use in trying to rebel or even argue .
Now more than ever, Shaillah is determined to overcome her desperation with all her inner strength. She nods slowly, keeping steady eye contact, her unfazed expression showing that she is not troubled anymore.
“Eliminate them?” Shaillah mutters in a fake indifferent tone.
“If you want to know the details, we will break their neural connections and destroy their advanced consciousness. They will never know what happened. It will be total oblivion. They will die a swift and painless death. Then we will replace their entire biosystem with ours. And the robots will take care of the planet, as one of our bases, in case we happen to pass by that side of the galaxy.”
“That’s evil!” Shaillah can’t help but gasp in dismay.
“Well, when you think about the alternative, not so much. We could obliterate their entire solar system with our antimatter guns. But long live the Rom-Ghenshars! We are a generous race.”
Shaillah fights with all her willpower to regain her composure as Zula-Or keeps an intense glare on her.
“All these words about ‘working together for our galaxy’s brighter future’, they were a pack of lies,” Shaillah bitterly says.
“Ah, Shaillah. I know you wouldn’t think about lying, would you?”
Shaillah shakes her head while looking bewilderingly at Zula-Or.
“Yet, you are the sole reason for all the lies—all the changes, all the delays,” Zula-Or reveals half-heartedly. “You are Rothwen’s great dilemma, the kind he has never faced before.”
“Tell me everything, my dear lady. I’m ready to confront the truth—head-on.”
“He wants you. Oh! I know how much he wants you. It’s the thought of losing you after this mission ends that’s driving him mad. For the one thing he wants is the very thing he has to destroy—the human mind.”
“Why does he have to destroy it?” Shaillah’s face tightens, trying to halt a nervous grimace.
“First, Rothwen changed and extended the invasion plans to be with you for as long as it took.” Zula-Or imperturbably continues.
“He went to great lengths to avoid using his immense destructive powers, and then he lied to you about the aim of our mission while demanding we never mention it to you. He knew from the start that you would hate him for it. Still, he could not even consider taking away your human feelings and emotions because then you would never love him. Like you do.”
“There must be a way out of this,” Shaillah firmly states as if talking to herself, “and I must find it.”
“That is impossible, my dear child. When Rothwen requested the change of all our invasion plans for the sole purpose of bringing you in, Kuzhma-Or accepted on one condition: The humans must die!”
“So much hatred for something that happened so long ago.”
“Humans are a belligerent race. That has not changed for aeons. They must be eliminated.”
“Tell me, Zula, all those aeons ago, how did Kuzhma-Or survive the humans’ attack?”
“He survived unscathed—but not before seeing his whole family wiped out,” Zula-Or gloomily recounts.
“How did he escape?”
“A human saved him—a woman. She hid him deep down in her husband’s tomb for days—until he was finally rescued and taken to our departure starships.”
Shaillah bites her bottom lip and tightly closes her eyes while in deep thought.
“Now, Shaillah, don’t even think you can convince Kuzhma-Or on the grounds of some random gesture of compassion that saved his life.”
“Not Kuzhma-Or … but Rothwen. I must convince Rothwen. He will listen to me.”
“Will the most powerful, unstoppable Rom-Ghenshar soldier listen? And if he won’t?”
“Then I must leave him!” Shaillah takes a deep breath, folding her arms tightly around her chest, trying to control her trembling body as all her raw pent-up emotions finally burst out of her anguished self.
Zula-Or can’t take her eyes off Shaillah’s struggle against her inner turmoil.
The wise lady can feel Shaillah’s despair in her own heart while realising she would have done the same in the same circumstances.
Inexplicably to her, as she tenderly embraces Shaillah, Zula-Or finds herself wishing that Rothwen would give in.